putting it all out there

I remember being little, and laying in bed with my sister Ali and begging her to teach me how to burp.  I just couldn't get it.  She could burp so great and loud and she could burp words and the partial alphabet.

I really was jealous.

So I practiced and practiced.  I could never get the concept of swallowing air and it drove me crazy.  Kind of similar to my quest to be a great whistler, just a little more on the crude side.

I'm not sure at what point it was that I unintentionally became a great burper.  But yes, it happened.  Yes it did. 

I love to burp.

My mother yells at me (I am 40 Mom!) and tells me she hopes that I accidentally burp when I am with a group of important people.  My daughter Kara glares at me every time I burp, and pretends to throw up.  My son high fives me.  Sometimes I hear "nice one!" from one of the kids nearby, which just validates my skill.

But the most embarrassing thing recently happened, so I might as well just put it out there for all the world to see. 

My husband called me from work -- we chit chat briefly a few times a day, so no big deal.   Here is how the conversation went for your viewing pleasure:

Me: "Hello?"

My husband: "Hey hon, what are you doing."

Me: "BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP. Nothing"

Fumble fumble fumble, then my husband: "Oh. My. God!  You were on speaker phone and my door is open!"

Me, feeling a little mortified but defiant: "Well that's what you get for calling me on speaker phone!"

I am laughing just thinking about how funny it sounded, not the burp - my husband fumbling to pick up the phone really fast - like he could possibly cut me off in mid-burp.

Not one of my finer moments I guess.

Yeah well, he never called me on speaker phone again.