My baby is FIVE today!

Brooke's birth was really scary, and I remember it like it was yesterday.


I remember asking Alex to sleep on the couch because he was sick and snoring so bad it was driving me crazy.  I had been having hard, hard Braxton Hicks contractions all day and night and I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.  We were scheduled for an induction in two days because of my climbing blood pressure.


I remember getting up really early in the morning, it was still dark.  As soon as I stood up, I thought my water had broken, but I was actually bleeding.  A lot.  All over the place.  I whispered urgently down to my sleeping husband, and he immediately heard me and came running upstairs.  We called my sister Ali to come clean up while we rushed up to the hospital, because I knew if any of my kids came into my room and found me gone with blood all over the place they would panic.  She practically pushed us out the door because she thought something was really wrong.


I was unsure of what was going on.  I had never had my water break outside of the hospital bed, and I felt dumb and didn't know if that was normal - if that is what the fluid was supposed to look like. 


As soon as we got to the hospital I was put on a monitor and things weren't looking so great.  My doctor who I love came in and said we were going in for a C-Section.  His voice is very flat, like he has no inflection and he never looks worried, it's very hard to read him.  So I said, "But this is not that big of a deal right?"


And he rubbed his handlebar mustache and said with his flat voice, "Well, it's a pretty big deal. The baby is in distress."  So I cried  a little because I was scared. 


Things happened fast after that.  I pretty much immediately went in.  There was no time for my family to get there, it was just me and Alex.  Then my sister Ali arrived, but she had to wait outside.  I never had a baby by myself - it's always been a big family gathering, so it was very different.

In the operating room, Alex came in with his scrubs on, and I was still scared and I thought what if I die.  I didn't get to say goodbye to my kids.  The anesthesiologist was great and made me feel more relaxed.  Then Dr. Clark came in and they took my little Brookie right out of me.  It was so fast and it felt so strange while it was happening.  So totally different from a typical birth.

Brooke had a perfect little round head with striking blond hair.  She was good and healthy and I felt so grateful.  The nurse showed us her umbilical cord and it had a very, very tight knot in it.  They photographed it because it was so unusual.  They told us that if we had come in the next day for the scheduled induction, it probably would have been too late, because her oxygen supply was cutting off with the knot in the cord.  They told us I had Placenta Abruptia.


She was perfect.  I couldn't stop looking at her. 

Every day something that little peanut does makes me smile.  She is so sweet and tries so hard to be big. 

I just love that kid, my little Brooke Allison.  I can't imagine my life without her.