Wednesday, February 29, 2012

mustaches are funny

Just saw these pictures of Alex and Megan from a few years ago, and they made me laugh.  Mustaches are always funny.  Especially on kids.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

that's how we roll

Our kids tend to lurk around and try to catch us (me, my sisters and BILs) in some good juicy conversation. It's rather annoying actually. Like in a million years I can't imagine wanting to hang out while my Mom was chit chatting with Aunt Sue. Besides the fact that I was scared to death of Aunt Sue, it was boring. And they were old people.  Also, we were smart enough to know that if we kept ourselves on the DL and didn't annoy my mom, we'd get to stay where ever it was that we were longer.

Let's be real here, I know we are way cool parents. I probably should feel flattered that they are so interested in being around us.  And I can't even honestly say that it totally bugs me.  Because I like my kids, and I like my sister's kids.  They are all decent, nice, funny kids and I do love being around them.

Just not when we want to chat as adults without censoring.

So like a lot of times we have to use code names when we are gossiping talking about people behind their backs, so the kids don't know who we are talking about. And if we say bad words, we start them with a Y. Like, stop being such a yick. Or, she's always acted like a yass.  Or, did you hear that Yonna and Yeff are splitting up?

It's ingenious really.

I'm pretty positive that they aren't on to us.

Anyway, my sister Jen had the greatest idea.  She thinks that the next time one of the kids has a few friends over, we should kind of follow them around,  sit in on their conversations, throw out a comment here and there, gasp occasionally and generally just lurk.  I think it might shock them into switching up their lurkage.  I can only imagine how mortified my niece Abby would be if her mom did that.

It would never have worked with Kara.  She always wanted me to hang around near her and her friends I think.  She's such a weirdo.

Monday, February 27, 2012

7 completely random questions


1. What is your favorite kind of pasta?
You know, I love orzo.  And baby shells.  I am not sure what it is about tiny pasta that makes me feel a little happy inside, but baby shells and orzo definitely do it for me.

2. How many people did you meet in your life who were really good kissers?
I'm not much of a kisser and teller, but I'd say there were a few really good kissers that I've had the pleasure of locking lips with, maybe one or two stand out as great.  Maybe a handful of really good.  Bad kissers got the door.  Because you can't waste a ton of time trying to mold someone to your liking.  Some things are just not trainable. And kissing is really important.
3. What is your favorite book of all time?
This is a question that just doesn't work for me.  It's like asking who your favorite kid is.  There are so many amazing books out there that I love for different reasons, I could never choose one favorite.

4. What have you done that you are most proud of?
Well, I guess there are a few things that I can say I am proud of - one of them is starting, running and owning a successful business.  Probably though, I am the most proud of surviving as a young single mom.  Surviving, doing it on my own and coming out on the other end OK.  And I ended up with an amazing daughter who made it through OK too. 

5. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Really, I want to go to Fiji.  That's the one dreamy place in the world that I imagine would be hard to actually get to. 

6. How many pairs of your underpants are actually doctor-worthy at this point in time?
I would say 98% of my underpants are doctor-worthy.  I don't keep around holey, old, ripped up grungy underwear.  My husband on the other hand flips out if I toss his old underpants because he thinks they are "lucky."  He's a weirdo and has been known to rescue underwear that I've thrown out from the garbage pail.  He's a grungy underwear hoarder.  I do have two pair of dumb comfy boring old plain old underpants that I wouldn't wear in front of anyone.  But sometimes you just need to wear the comfiest thing.  That's why I keep those around. 

7. What movie really, really, really made you cry?
Uh, what movie doesn't?  I am a movie cry baby and I can't help it.  I get emotional!  It's just who I am!  Boys Don't Cry kills me every. single. time, and omg Philidelphia with Tom Hanks, and of course Titanic.  One movie that never fails to make me cry my face off is Steel Magnolias.  Also, Stepmom with Susan Sarandon and then Top Gun - ugh that Goose/Maverick scene ... should I go on?  Because this post could get pretty long.

Friday, February 24, 2012

what's up yo

So I bet you're all (three) wondering where the heck I've been for the last week or so.  Haven't you been wondering?  I mean, I've been getting phone calls and emails from angry readers, evil eyes in the grocery store... you know, all of that stuff that happens when you let down the entire population of blogger.  I left no notice, I didn't call, I didn't write...  Look.  I'm sorry.  These things happen.  Let's all just roll with it. 

Fine.  I didn't get any angry phone calls, emails or evil eyes, I was exaggerating.  I don't think anyone actually cares that I have been MIA.  In fact I am mad at all of you three jerks because my Cod, what if I was dead on the bathroom floor all week?  What if I slipped and fell on my head while I was getting out of the bath and I was laying there silently begging you to come save me?  What if I had an unfortunate incident and needed a reader who cared enough to be like, wait, where's Jessee?  Clearly I am unloved.  And I'm very hurt about that.  You all hurt my feelings.

Fine, you don't hurt my feelings, I'm still exaggerating, but even if you weren't wondering, and quite honestly didn't even notice that I was MIA, I'm going to go ahead and tell you what the heck I've been up to anyway.  

Oh trust me, all of that build up and it's not even a super exciting reason.  My kids have had the past week off from school, that's all.  I refuse to use the word/term "staycation" because I think it's dumb, but we pretty much had one of those.  Well, we did go to NYC for a few days, but NYC is kind of like, right in this actual state that we live in, so even though we stayed in a hotel and did a bunch of touristy things, it didn't really feel like a vacation vacation.  Plus the fact that I had to entertain everyone wasn't exactly the most relaxing thing I could have chosen to do.

We were going to go to Disney like we often do for February break, but my dumb sister Ali ruined Christmas.  Fine, she didn't really ruin Christmas, she just ruined my entire February break.  Because I can't go to Disney without Ali.  And she couldn't go because she had to work.

Dumb teachers.  That's the problem with teachers.  They get the whole summer off, so their bosses are kind of particular about the time they take off during the school year, and they are particularly particular the days immediately before and after school breaks.  Typically, teacher/sister Ali would have had this week off from school too, but her Superintendent was being an asshole and refused to give the school a February break.  Something to do with too few days of school this year due to flooding and severe weather and blahblahblah.  Whatever, all I know is that it RUINED MY VACATION. 

Sure, I suppose we could have gone without those guys.  But it's not nearly as much fun without them.  Who would get up at the crack of my ass so they could be the first ones pounding on the gates of WDW when they open?  Who would text me pictures of Mickey Mouse, telling me that they are almost finished with the whole entire park and where the hell am I?  Who would meet us in Germany for a brat and a beer?  Who would be the official fast pass getter - leaping over wheelchairs and pushing through slow kids to get everywhere first and fastest?  Who would we take the ferry to gorge on freaking awesome beignets with?? We really need those guys for the fun factor.  Also, it's nice for the kids to have their cousins to hang with here and there.

So now maybe we will go for April break instead.  Who knows.  I suppose we'll play it by ear (or play it by YEAR as my niece Abby used to say).  Ali is a freak a chicken severely neurotic afraid to fly, so usually we make the 20+ hour trek driving together.  Even though we aren't afraid to fly at all, we drive because we're so nice.  But next time we're flying, I am so over that dumb drive.  It's only a two hour flight!  My sister won't even be out of NY state, and we'll be sipping margaritas on the beach.  Scratch that, I'll be sipping margaritas at the Disney castle and the kids will be sipping something with less alcohol in it.

So enough about Disney already.  We went to NYC.

I love NYC.  The city that never sleeps.  Seriously, we were in Times Square pretty late one night for dinner and it was like, hard to tell that it was night even.  It is so bright.  Anyway, we went to the city to get away for a few days - just to have something to do.  We took the train in, which was fun, an adventure of sorts.  Alex had a conference, so we tagged along.  He pretty much worked the whole time - had to go to the conference during the days and client stroking dinners during the nights, so it was basically just me and the kids.  We hooked up with Kara a few times, which was awesome.  One night Alex rode the subway home with Kara and stayed over at her apartment.  He thought he was so cool.  

Anyway, I have to go get some sushi because I'm starving and I've pretty much only had a banana and trail mix all day.  If I don't get food I might eat my own arm.  Which could seriously curtail my blogabilities, because it's much harder to type with only one arm.  Obviously.  I'll share some details next post.

Hope you all had a nice week!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

pop culturistic annoyances

I enjoy pop culture as much as the next guy, but I have to say, I get irritated at some of the annoying words and phrases.  To me, it kind of feels like the person speaking is trying a little too hard to be "cool," or with it, and I can't help but be turned off by that.  It's actually one of my pet peeves.  Actually, the term "pet peeve" is one of my pet peeves.

So, if you're not exactly sure what pop culture is, I'll explain, because I am all giving like that.   Pop culture is considered to be a fad or trend that has caught on quickly and becomes the next novel thing to say or consume.  It's shortened from "popular culture," and can also be referring to activities or commercial products reflecting, suited to, or aimed at the current tastes of the general population.

]I'm sharing several pop culture terms that I think are pretty played out.  Come on guys, you have to admit that it's time to retire them already.

Hella - You could always just say, really.  Like, instead of saying "This is hella cool!" and sounding like a dumbass,  just say it's really cool.  I promise you'll sound less stupid.

Redonkulous - As in ridiculous with a donk in it.  I can't imagine where this came from.  I admit it makes me chuckle.

What up? - As opposed to "What's up?"  Because you just can't get it right?

Natch - You're dumb.

Deck - Ah, but the hipster slang... they're too hip to just say cool.

JK - What you really mean is "just kidding," but you're way too busy to type or say the actual words?

Bromance - The "romance," or super tight friendship between bros.  Or, guys that may or may not actually be brothers.  Pretty sure this word isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

I know, right? - Just need that confirmation, eh?

Frenemy - I like combining words.  This one means, I'm pretending you're my friend but I really hate you.  This is actually a decent word, but it's definitely gotten played out.

El oh el - I'm pretty sure you just “texted” out loud without the use of an actual cell.

Baby bump - A lump of baby.  In your belly.  Really?  I hope that whoever came up with this term copyrighted it, because my Cod, it's everywhere.  And it has privately annoyed me for years.

Hilar - What is it with not being able to coherently complete a word? 

FAIL - Well, this just looks like you're yelling.

WINNING! - Again with the shouting, Charlie Sheen.  Enough already.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

10 things you should never ask your husband

Ten Things you should never ask your husband/boyfriend

besides the obvious  (1) Do I look fat in this?  Because, really -- you know the poor guy can't win here.  If he says yes, you'll go cry in the closet and be mad at him for saying that you look like a fatso.  But if he says no but he really means yes, you'll eventually catch a glimpse of your fat ass in the "realistic" mirror wherever you are, go cry in the coat check room and be mad at him for not telling you that you that you look like a fatso.

(2) What time will you be home?  Because 9 times out of 10, he won't be home when he says he will be, and dinner will be cold and you'll be pissed.

(3) Do you think she's prettier than me?  Because really, don't ask unless you're prepared for the truth.

(4) What would you change about me?  Because think about it, do you really want to know all of the things that he wishes were different about you?  Way to make yourself insecure and uncomfortable.

(5) How many women have you slept with?  Because, why?  Just, so not worth going there.  The answer has nothing to do with you, yet you'll be unfairly seething over the fact that he had an actual past before he even knew you existed.

(6) If I died, how long would you wait before you replaced me?  Because we all know that he's not going to say, "I would never replace you honey!" and mean it.

(7) Is that it?  Because that's just mean.  Unless of course, your goal was to make him feel like crap.

(8) Will you babysit the kids?  Because I wasn't aware of the fact that you "babysit" your own children.

(9)  Are you sure you know where you're going?  Because even if he has no freaking clue where the hell he is, you know he would never admit it.  And Cod forbid he'd ever ask for directions.

(10)  Does this match?  Because, come on.  He is a guy.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

how to tell if you are a hipster

I have to admit, I am intrigued by hipsters.  I was intrigued by hipsters before being intrigued by hipsters was cool though. (joke. but not really)

It goes way back.  The attraction to the different, the disdain for the norm - the distaste for being a sheep, for trying to fit in - or Cod forbid, for being like everyone else.  Baaaa.  I was always fighting this desire to blend in and be invisible versus this desire to be able to just relax and be myself.  But I came to the conclusion that being myself may have drawn more attention to me, which I disliked vehemently - so I just stuck with blending in.  Being somewhat of a fake version of myself I guess.

I really think I was a wannabe hipster before I even knew what it was.  I liked their look for the most part. I liked the idea of a crowd that could march to the beat of their own drum, no explanation necessary.  But at some point along the way, it actually became hip to be hipster.  That in itself was kind of an oxymoron.  All of a sudden it became cool to be not cool.  Huh?

These days it seems like everybody hates a hipster except the hipster himself, obviously.  It’s like everyone has an opinion on who the “real” hipsters are, how original you are and if you’re just acting a certain way to fit into a certain crowd.  Like, you are not being genuine, authentic.  My inner wannabe hipster is so confused... I'm like, torn between two worlds.  The outer me is definitely not hipster in any form.  The inner me is always fighting to scream Fuck you!  Outta my way!  Leave me alone to mull obsessively!  Give me a clove cigarette! OK not really the clove cigarette exclamation.

Before I go any further, I should probably attempt to define the term hipster for those of you who are lost at this point.  Unfortunately, there is no clear description.  But there are these kind of vague judgmental definitions out there, so I'll do my best to help you understand.    

So there are two basic definitions out there.  The definition of a hipster by a hipster, and the definition of a hipster by a hipster hater.

How a hipster will define him/herself: “a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.  Although hipsters are technically conformists within their own subculture, in comparison to the much larger mainstream mass, they are pioneers and leaders of the latest cultural trends and ideals.”

How anti-hipsters define the typical hipster: “Hipsters can generally be identified by their completely unwarranted arrogance, passion for obscure bands, obtuse fashion sense, cheapness masquerading as quirkiness or upper-middle-class white self loathing. In actuality, most of the culture boils down to judging. Judging items, activities, bands, companies, clothes, oneself and most importantly other people. If someone else is less savvy, cutting edge or knowledgeable than you, they are worthy of mockery and disdain.”

So now I ask myself, could I actually be a hipster based on the typical stereotypes?  I’ll try to break it down.

The typical hipster garb:

Horned rimmed glasses, preferably thick and black (I do not wear glasses, however I am supposed to because I have terrible eyesight.  If I did wear them, they would more than likely not be horn rimmed.  I'd be willing to bet that's a style that I could not pull off)
Old nostalgic pop-culture t-shirts, skinny jeans or leggings, vintage anything, plaid, flannel or cowboy shirts, chucks and skinny hoodies (I would wear any old comfy t-shirt that wasn't ugly, I don't really care too much about what is on it.  In fact I have an awesome old soft Pearl drum t-shirt that I just dug out of a tub of clothes from the 80s. As far as vintage stuff, skinny jeans and legging?  Vintage rarely looks right on me, and skinny jeans are meh on me.  Hipsters are notoriously skinny, and I am so not.  The closest I get to leggings are yoga pants.  I'm pro-hoodie and I enjoy chucks - just not on me.  My feet are too big and they make them look like canoes)
Crazy thick beards or weirdly styled mustaches, hairy girl legs and armpits (Obviously I don't have facial hair, so that doesn't apply to me, but I would never go hairy armpit.  I just think it looks gross and smelly.  Hairy legs... I don't know - personally I am not very hairy so I couldn't grow guy-hairy legs if I tried, not that I would, because I just prefer the clean-shaven leg look on a girl)
Hideous sweaters (I don't believe I wear hideous sweaters, nor do I want to.  Certainly not the kind that hipsters typically go for - which would be something vintage, with messed up clashing colors and the glorious smell of mothballs.  Cardigans like Mr. Rogers wore maybe, except more ugly)
Knit caps, vintage fedoras or trucker hats (I don't hate knit caps.  If I could rock one I'd wear it - trucker hat? so no.  Fedora? meh)
Bedhead, tiny pigtails, bangs and colored tights (You know when someone has short hair but somehow manages to get it into tiny little pigtails?  I love that and I think it's really cute.  I also think short bangs and colored tights are adorable.  For a 3 year-old. Bedhead I don't usually do)
Tats and funky body piercings  (I may just shock my entire family and get a discreet tattoo, but currently I have plain old pierced ears and no body art)

The typical hipster is into:

Yoga and meditation (I think yoga is a good concept and it's awesome to be in tune with your bod and to be healthy, but my experience with die-hard yoga followers is that it's kind of cultish and weird, however I am rather limited in my worldly ways, so I could be way off base on this.  I may also be unappreciative of yoga because I can't do a lot of the fucking poses)
Vintage or retro everything - clothes, shoes and products found in thrift shops (I appreciate some interesting vintage stuff, but I really dig modern stuff too)
Books that you were forced to read in high school, JD Salinger, Kurt Vonnegut, or Jack Kerouac (Uh. This is embarrassing to admit for a lover of books, reading and English class in general, but I’ve read and understood very few books like these.  I used Cliff notes.  Don't tell my kids)
Vinyl records Oh! But the sound quality! (You know, I really might be making a huge mistake in saying this, but I think the sound quality on vinyl sucks.  Yeah, I went there.  Change my mind and I'll love you forever) 
Vegan or organic (If I suddenly became rich, I'd probably go organic.  I'm still not there with giving up eating meat though.  I just love good food, and meat tends to be a part of that equation)
Old label brand or cheap beer (PBR anyone? Yes, Pabst Blue Ribbon, the beer of choice for the hipster. I hate beer)
Obscure bands/Indie music, music recommended by Pitchfork or the Village Voice it's like, "I listen to bands so underground, they haven’t even heard of themselves!"  (OK, so I am into different not always known bands and artists, but not to be ironic.  Just because I like them.  I also like some current pop, alternative, rock... I just like good music.  That's all)
Old movies, independent and/or foreign films, Wes Anderson movies (I can't get into that kind of movie usually.  I'm open to try, but for the most part, I just want to be entertained when I am watching a movie -- I don't want to have to think too hard)
Clove cigarettes (I don't smoke...)
Being ironic (I barely know how to coherently explain what ironic means)
Macs and/or anything Apple (I'm right there in the Apple loving)
Fixed geared bikes (Can't comment on this one because besides being a bicycle, I just have no freaking clue what they are)
IKEA (IKEA is gold to me)
Messenger or Courier bags No, not backpacks. (I don't carry either of these - I hate carrying bags - I prefer mashing everything into my pockets)

So if you wear those kinds of things or like those kinds of things, it doesn't automatically mean you're a hipster.  Just to clarify, I'm not here to judge - just to make observations.  Apparently the issue for the haters isn't necessarily about their fashion choices or their interest in eclectic unknown bands.  The thing that seems to get people all fired up is the superiority.  The vibe of the hipster is generally picked up as, "I'm better/cooler/more obtuse/ironically trendy/faux artsy than you are," and that's what seems to turn people off of the whole hipster culture.  Oddly, the hipster cares so much about how people perceive them, yet they go over the top trying to pretend that they don't care at all.  The ironic thing about hipsters is that they don't like to be judged, but they seem to judge everyone around them who isn't like them.  Hipsters judge people on being judgemental!  

I don't see any problem with any of the above mentioned things - except for the superiority of it all.  If you like vinyl for reasons of your own, go for it.  If you like old band t-shirts because that's your style - rock on.  If you're into what you're into - really, I don't care.  What I don't like is the trying too hard part.  The "I'm better than you because I smoke clove cigarettes, don't eat animals and go to yoga regularly" part, the "Dude. That was totes deck!" part.  I don't particularly care for that nagging feeling of constantly being assessed and ridiculed or judged, it's just not cool with me at all.

So yeah, though I am not a big fan of labels, I guess one could conclude that I have a little hipster in me (and his name is Atticus and he wears flannel and he lives in a loft in Wicker Park and he spends hours contemplating what it all means). In case if you were wondering, my inner wannabe hipster is not an asshole.  Maybe my inner wannabe hipster is a touch infantile with vulgar jokes (see above), but my inner wannabe hipster is pretty genuine.  The big difference between me and a hipster nowadays is that I truly don't care that much.  I am a nonconformist by nature, and though I might be into some things that typical hipsters are associated with, I am not going to be arrogant or obnoxious about my interests.  I'm into things because I am into them -- not because it's either hip or mainstream.

Anyway, I don't think I could be a true hipster because I'm too old, and I don't live in a coastal city.  Apparently, the majority of the people in the hipster club are in their 20's and 30's, the largest concentrations in NYC and San Francisco.  Damn.
I guess I'm done here.  

So, wanna attempt a guess at how many times I used the word "hipster" in this massive long winded post?

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I'm not really that mean

At the risk of pissing off my sister Jen, who does not believe in recycling, I'm reposting from this same day last year, Feb 8.  Which incidentally is my niece Jillian's 10th birthday.  Woohoo Jilli!  I have to do the old repost thing because I have a lot of running around to do today and I probably won't get a chance to write a coherent and or mildly amusing post.  So if you were a reader last year, go ahead and skip.  If not, feel free to read on.

You know, after I posted yesterday, it occurred to me that all of you three people that read my blog might think that I am a big fat mean wife.  Except emptynester, totally gets me. 

Anyway, you might think I am mean because I said that I left Alex at the party we were at and made him wog behind me in the car for a little while.

Well, I suppose I should clarify.  Because number one it was only about a block and B, because this is what we do.

See, I am ready to go when I am ready to go.  And I am also ready to go when Alex is ready to go.  When Alex is ready, he'll say something like, "OK, let's get out of here."  So I will go get my coat on, say my goodbyes, and if the kids are with us, I will round them up.

Then comes the part where we wait at the door for Alex to wrap it up.  And we wait.

And then we wait some more.

So then I usually threaten and say cheerfully, "OK Hon, I'm heading out to the car now!"  And then he keeps talking and standing.  And talking.

So then I threaten cheerfully, "If you don't make it out there by the time I buckle everyone in, you can just jog home!"

And then I go out to the car and buckle the kids in and beep once or twice for good measure.  Then I'll s l o w l y start to back out of the driveway.  I mean, I think that I am very very calm, cool and collected about his difficulties in leaving any place that we go.  I give a lot of fair warnings.  And mostly, since I am so used to his annoying behavior, I am pretty cheerful about it.   So usually when I am about halfway down the driveway, he comes running out the door and down the steps and tries to catch up to me.  And sometimes if he catches up, I pretend I don't see him and keep going, just for the fun of it. 

And sometimes the kids will hang out the window and cheer him on.

So really, I don't think I have ever gotten so far as to actually fully leave him somewhere.

So I am not really that mean.  Right? 

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

possible conversation

A possible conversation between me and my husband:

him:  I called you like five times!  Why didn't you answer?

me: I may or may not have been in the shower.

him:  Jessee, it's 1:45 in the afternoon.

me:  Don't judge me!  I was very busy with a lot of important things!

him:  Well what were you doing all day?

me:  Well.  I may or may not have been watching the Bachelor while playing scramble and pinning shit to that asshole pinterest.

him:  What the hell is pinterest?

me:  Remember?  It's that new time suck!  All I know is that I was happily drinking my coffee and reading the news. Then I clicked over to pinterest to just look at one little thing, and all of a sudden I looked at the clock and it was 1:45!  It was like I was sucked into a black hole of inspiration!

him: Hm.

me:  I did other stuff too!

him:  Did you make those appointments?

me:  I may or may not have.

him:  Did you book our trip?

me:  Maybe I did and maybe I didn't.

him:  Did you at least pick up that thing I asked you to get?

me:  What the actual fuck hon.  I can't do everything!

him:  Maybe I'll turn off the wifi.

me:  Maybe I'll karate chop your face.  

him:  Hm.  Maybe I'll rethink turning off the wifi.

me:  Then maybe I will book the trip and make the calls and pick up that thing.

him:  Fine.  

me:  Damn.  Who knew I was so good at communication and compromise?  Aren't you glad we had this little chat?

him:  ::sigh::

Monday, February 6, 2012

app happy. and freaking pinterest.

I have one very important question for you guys, and that is it!  That is all!  I will not ask any other questions because this question is kind of a big one.  OK fine.  The truth is, it's a two part question.

My two part question is, (a) who the hell started pinterest and (b) what is wrong with me that I can't seem to walk away from it?

Valid questions, right?

Because really, it's become my new addiction.  Along with Spotify and Scramble.  Spotify being a cool music app and scramble being an addictively fun word game app, obviously.  I am so app happy these days.  I really need to get a life.  Is there a twelve step program?  Please someone take away my iPhone/laptop.  No wait.  I was just joking.  Don't touch them.

Yeah so embarrassingly,  pinterest has sucked me in, and I lose time when I sit down and open it up.  In fact, while surrounded by a bunch of rowdy Super Bowl watching people chaotically being chaotic in my house last night, I happily whiled away the time perusing and pinning in my own little world, and basically only saw the most important parts of the game (the parts where everyone yelled and hooted at the TV).  And guess what?  I didn't even feel crazy about the chaos, which is so unlike me.  I think pinterest was like one huge dose of Paxil.  It was very relaxing.

Unaware of what pinterest is?  Never heard of it?  Well thank Cod for me!  I'll explain, suck you in with me help you become worldly and with it and in the know.  I'll help you become hip.  I'm very giving like that.  The simplest explanation is that it is an online "cork board" where you can pin things that interest you to share with other people.  Kind of like, an online version of clippings of things and recipes from magazines. Before pinterest, organized people filed them or tape them up on an inspiration board or something.  Or if you're anything like me, you'll clip them then leave them laying around in several messy piles that you swear you will organize but never do, making your husband lose his shit over it on an almost daily basis.

You know how I said it was relaxing to me? I have to point out that is was both relaxing and anxiety inducing.  Pretty much at the same time.  Equally.  I have to warn you that pinterest, while fun and inspiring (and a huge new time suck), it also sort of makes you feel like nothing you have or do compares.  Like, the gorgeous photos of gorgeous homes, perfect decor, amazing creative use of space, adorable crafts, yummy food and super awesomely cool clothes, etc etc kind of makes you feel like a loser.

Or.  It could inspire.  Those are the two sides of the scale.  INSPIRING vs. DISCOURAGING.  I guess you'll just have to see which it is for you.

Check it out if you haven't already and tell me what you think.  You may actually need an invitation to join - and if that's the case and you are interested, just let me know and I'll invite you!

Do I sound extra cheerful?  I think I am extra cheerful and I have no idea why.  Anyway, happy Monday!

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Had a couple of requests to post video from Kara's thing in NYC last weekend.  So, the first one is a funny song called "The Man From..."  It was from a pretty unknown Steven Sondheim show called The Mad Show.

This other one is a more dramatic tune from the musical Aida called "I know the Truth."

Friday, February 3, 2012

oh. it's february. friday. five.

five minute purge:

Oh hey guess what y'all?

I just said y'all.  And I'm not even a cowboy.

Anyway, it's my birthday month!  Oh yeah, it's my birthday!  Can you seeing me doing that dance?  You know, that one where they sing oh yeah it's my birthday?  And they dance while they sing it?  No?

Well, if you were picturing it, you probably aren't aware of the fact that I dance like an imbecile.  I do however,  have some signature moves known only in the immediate family as "The Jessee."  To form a picture in your mind, it's not unlike Elaine in Seinfeld, Monica in Friends... you get the gist.  Pretty freaking sad, pretty freaking embarrassing.  Which is why it's a rare moment when I pull out the dance moves, guys.  Really rare.  More than likely an abundance of sweet alcoholic beverages are involved if I go there.

I've never felt comfy fast dancing.  Particularly because I've never felt comfy being looked at.  I just cannot chill and get into it.  I do enjoy watching other people dance though.  I don't care if you suck, I still find it enjoyable.  When I was in high school, there was this girl Jackie, my best friend at the time actually, and she was a great dancer.  She was the most confident kid out there.  She just always seemed to know what to do, how to do it and look good.  She had it going on.  Usually I just stood next to her bopping my head to the beat and pretending I was comfortable.   At least I could follow the beat.  I was a band geek after all.   So yeah, I was the sidekick.

Just so we're clear, I was completely cool being the sidekick.

Anyway, I was talking about my birthday month.  Sheesh.  The roads my brain takes me down sometimes...  So yeah.  It's my birthday month.  Finally!  Lots of goodness is in February.  Besides the fact that I was born.  Usually it's snowy this time of year.  I'm jealous because I hear Colorado is getting a big snowstorm.  I love Colorado.  I love snowstorms.  Everything is just so cozy in a snowstorm.  If I had a fireplace it would be even cozier.  I want a fireplace for my birthday.


Thursday, February 2, 2012

KB, the duplex, and sushi in the city

So Sunday night Kara was in this show - her first performance in NYC actually.  She performed at The Duplex Cabaret Theater in Greenwich Village.  Every Sunday night they have this "Bound for Broadway" showcase thing where they feature new and diverse singing talent on the audition circuit.

She auditioned for it in early December I think.  Pretty cool that she got on stage for a few solo tunes, especially exciting that it was her first audition for anything down there and she made it through with no problem whatsoever.  It seemed kind of like an open mic kind of thing, except you had to audition to be able to perform.  She chose one kind of silly theatrical tune that I'd never heard and thought was so funny, and one more dramatic tune from the musical Aida, which I've always loved.  So anyway, she rocked it.  She got a ton of positive feedback - the audience seemed to be feeling her and it was great to see her on stage again, it's been a while, and I've missed it.   I was really proud of her.

I am a fan of a piano bar, of live bar music in general actually.  The pianist was great, and the host was really funny.  And man, my drinks were rather strong.  I think I left there on the tipsy side.

It may also have been the drinks that I had in this Sushi place we went to before the show.  We met up with Kara and her theater buddy Ray from college for some dinner.  I have to say it was by far the best sushi I've ever had.  The place was called SushiSamba.  Fantastic.  You have to hit it if you're ever near one of their locations.

The vibe was pretty cool, sort of loungey and relaxed.  We were seated next to this table of ladies who had been there for a while.  They were many drinks in and having a grand old time.  Of course we ended up chatting most of the night.  They photographed our food.  I think it's because we had ordered this special with tiny little straight up crabs on top.  With their legs and faces and everything.  I did not eat that.  But the presentation was pretty cool.  One of the ladies we met bought us a drink, which was kind of funny.  And also kind of amazing.  Some pear vodka thing that knocked my socks off.  In a good way.

One of the ladies was a serious name dropper.  She talked herself up left and right.  She threw out that she was an actress in LA, an entrepreneur with products at some high end hotels, a dancer AND a professional football cheerleader.  Apparently she had it going on.  She gave us her card.  I swear she kind of reminded me of that hilarious recurring character Kristin Wiig does for SNL that always one-ups someone, Penelope, but not quite, because she wasn't really one- upping anyone.  She was nice though, and actually offered to help Kara out if she ever made her way out to CA.  It often seems like west coast people are extraordinarily friendly, doesn't it?  

go ahead click on it

Anyway, it was a really great night - great to see Kar, great to see her do her thing.  We got home at like 1:30 in the morning and wouldn't you know, I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

wtf wednesday

You know, I always have WTF moments in my mind.  And sometimes out of my mind.  And strangely enough, I have been writing these monumental moments down as they occur to me.  I may have to make this a regular Wednesday thing.  And hey, look at that!  I didn't even actually say the F word.  

WTF is the deal with shopping carts?  Why is there never a shopping cart that just smoothly rolls along?  You either get a cart with one lame wheel, which means you have to fight to push it in a straight line, or you get a noisy squeaky cart.  Or my personal favorite, the cart with a wheel that locks up periodically, so when you are walking along thinking that you have a nice smoothly rolling shopping cart, a misc wheel will lock up, violently stopping your cart short.  Which typically involves a bruise somewhere on my body.  I think that good shopping carts should be a grocery store priority.  Second only to carrying great fresh fruit, veggies and meat.

WTF is up with Sunday drivers?  Why do I always get behind the Sunday driver, even though it's not Sunday?  Somehow I get so lucky as to pull out behind someone leisurely making their way to wherever it is they're going.  And they go ahead and drive the actual speed limit or Cod help me, less than the actual speed limit.  Do people really go the actual speed limit??  For real?

WTF!  You know, when someone is in customer service, or has a job that involves directly dealing with customers or people, don't you think it should be part of the job description to be pleasant?  You know, to have a pleasant demeanor? Like, I would assume that it's implied, but I'm thinking some people clearly need a little bit more of an understanding as to what customer service actually means.

WTF McDonald's.  If I go out of my way (and off of my self imposed restriction) to get a small caramel FrappĂ© at McDonald's, (or maybe even a McFlurry) it would be so great if it could be made the way it looks in the picture.  The picture shows an abundance of whipped cream and caramel drizzly stuff, and chunks of gooey goodness, and when I get a lackluster lame looking FrappĂ© with barely any stuff on top, I'm not digging it.  This is what I say in my head to the maker of such a dumb thing:  Uh, I think you just McFucked up my McFlurry, jackass.

WTF is up with the people who label stuff at stores?  If you put the label on certain surfaces, such as glass, the label is really hard/impossible to get off.  Like, why would you put a sticker on the front glass part of a frame?  Just, why?

WTF is it with delivery people needing a 4 hour window for a delivery time?  Not that I work or anything, but if I did, I'd have to take an entire half day off of work, just because you might show up at a certain time.

WTF is it with those family decals moms put on the back of the minivan windows?  I may have to defend myself from angry soccer moms everywhere, but really?  You are going to put a little family of people wearing Mickey Mouse Ears on your car?

WTF is up with some little punk that I birthed losing the remote control to my brand new 3dtv?  For real??  I cannot even fathom how a remote control could have walked itself off into the sunset, leaving me to try to figure out how to navigate it without the right tools!!  Of course nobody knows who used it last.

Any WTF moments this week?  Feel free to share.  Or make your own WTF post and link it up over here so I can feel your pain.