besides the obvious (1) Do I look fat in this? Because, really -- you know the poor guy can't win here. If he says yes, you'll go cry in the closet and be mad at him for saying that you look like a fatso. But if he says no but he really means yes, you'll eventually catch a glimpse of your fat ass in the "realistic" mirror wherever you are, go cry in the coat check room and be mad at him for not telling you that you that you look like a fatso.
(10) Does this match? Because, come on. He is a guy.
(2) What time will you be home? Because 9 times out of 10, he won't be home when he says he will be, and dinner will be cold and you'll be pissed.
(3) Do you think she's prettier than me? Because really, don't ask unless you're prepared for the truth.
(4) What would you change about me? Because think about it, do you really want to know all of the things that he wishes were different about you? Way to make yourself insecure and uncomfortable.
(5) How many women have you slept with? Because, why? Just, so not worth going there. The answer has nothing to do with you, yet you'll be unfairly seething over the fact that he had an actual past before he even knew you existed.
(6) If I died, how long would you wait before you replaced me? Because we all know that he's not going to say, "I would never replace you honey!" and mean it.
(7) Is that it? Because that's just mean. Unless of course, your goal was to make him feel like crap.
(8) Will you babysit the kids? Because I wasn't aware of the fact that you "babysit" your own children.
(9) Are you sure you know where you're going? Because even if he has no freaking clue where the hell he is, you know he would never admit it. And Cod forbid he'd ever ask for directions.
(10) Does this match? Because, come on. He is a guy.
i hate when i hear moms say that their husbands are babysitting. when i hear it, i always ask whose kids he's babysitting because when it's just your own, it's simply called parenting.
ReplyDeletei never understood the preoccupation with the # of sex partners. i mean, very few of us were virgins when we met and as long as your number isn't close to the 3 digit range, i really just don't want to know. nor will i share my number. i've been with my husband for 15 years & still don't know his number.
Or, you could just do what I do and never ask him anything. :)
ReplyDelete