some random things you probably don't know about me

I love cheeses.

My baby toe toenails are basically nonexistent.

I can wave my pinkie toe.

I suck at most sports.

I don't sweat very much.

I enjoy mowing the lawn with a push mower.

I have an extremely hard time letting go when it's not my choice.

My arm and leg hair is so fine and light, it looks like I have none.

I like designing kitchens.

My astrological sign really does very closely resemble my characteristics.

I wish that I was way more artistic and creative than I actually am.

monday listicle

Monday listicle link... questions:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, and find line 4. 

"Angela went to sit at a black-topped lab table exactly like the ones I was used to."  Megan is finally reading Twilight.  She is sucked in deep - up til 11 sneak reading in her bed every night.  I love it.

2. How many times a day do you say Hi? You know, not much.  Maybe once or twice?  I'm more of a "hey..." kinda girl.

3. Have you ever worn a uniform?  Yes, yes I have.  When I was a senior in high school, my band teacher convinced me to join the marching band.  Apparently they were shorthanded with the instrument that I played, the baritone.  I sucked so bad (At marching, not the baritone.  I was actually kind of good at the baritone.).  I am really not a very coordinated person in general, but put me in a hot, sweaty polyester pantsuit, give me a heavy horn and expect me to play while walking at the same time?  Not impressive.  Trust me.

Proof of me in the embarrassing uniform.  And apparently quite the large ribbon in my hair.  In 1987 huge ribbons were all the rage. Trust me. FYI, Brooke just got a glimpse of this picture over my shoulder and said, "Really mom?  Really?  That is an ugly sweater!"   So I said, "It's not even a sweater, it's a band uniform Brookie!"  And then she laughed at me.

4. What do you think about the most? 
Family, the truth, guilt, the future, wishes, wants, dreams, my appearance, music 

5. How many keys are on your keyring?  One.  My car key.  I hate carrying too much crap - I think I mentioned once or twice that I am anti-purse, pro-pocket.  I need to minimize as much as possible so I can fit everything either in a tiny purse or my pocket, and one key is all that I have room for.

6. What was the last thing you bought?  Soccer cleats.  I just got back from the store, because Megan needed cleats.  Somehow I got roped into also buying a track jacket and gym shorts.  Which is exactly why I usually shop alone.

7. Are you growing anything these days?  I am!  Besides a bunch of house plants that I cannot manage to kill, I have a nice vegetable garden growing in the back yard.  Actually two gardens in the back.  I am growing tomatoes, peppers, asparagus, onions, garlic, broccoli, lettuce, watermelon, dill, basil and rosemary.  Everything is looking pretty good!

8. What is under your bed? Shockingly, very little.  When I got a bunch of new bedroom furniture a little bit ago, I cleaned out under there, and I haven't built back up a cluttery mess yet.  So, besides a little bit of dust, there are a pair of black espadrilles, a boot box with a pair of new boots in it, a Barbie and Alex's man shoes.

9. What is most important in life? To me: following my dreams, being true to myself, setting a good example for my children, doing good, making a difference.  Also, love, respect, honesty, appreciation, commitment, compassion, belief in something, gratitude, patience, sacrifice... 

10. What is the strangest word you used this week? Hm.  I have to be honest here and say, "discomboobulated."  A goofy play on discombobulated, obviously.

11 questions

1. What would you be doing right now if you weren’t answering my 11 questions?

Reading 50 Shades of Grey.  Except, that might be weird because my kids are all roaming around and I might feel like that could be considered inappropriate to read such smut in their presence.

2. If a genie were to grant you 3 wishes, what would your 3 wishes be?

1. That I could get a little puppy that wouldn't poop on my kitchen floor or chew stuff.
2. That Vampire Diaries could be on every night.
3. That I could have a personal chef to cook for me - breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And a few snacks.  All crazy yummy and low calorie/healthy.

3. What’s in your purse?

Oh boring normal stuff.  I have a tiny purse because I am anti-purse, pro-pocket.  In my little purse I have cash, credit cards, Burt's Bees lip balm, Burt's Bees tinted lip balm, a pack of gum and a winning lottery ticket. Five bucks, but hey, I'll take it!

4. What book are you dying to read (or, if you’re more of a movie person, what movie are you dying to see)?

Well, I'm sure about dying, but I am interested in reading 50 Shades of Grey, mostly because everyone is talking about it.  I just downloaded it to my book nook.  I just can't not read it - I hate feeling like I'm missing out.

5. What are the three best words to describe yourself?

• Pensive
• Multi-tasker
• Introverted

6. If you could trade places with someone for a week, who would it be and why?

So very shallow of me, but I’d probably trade places with someone rich and famous and beautiful, just to see if it was all it's cracked up to be.

7. What is your favorite song?

I just cannot answer that.  But some of my all time faves are: Just Like Heaven by The Cure, I Melt With You by Modern English, The Ghost in You by Psychedelic Furs, Lips Like Sugar by Echo & the Bunnymen, Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths,

8. What’s the best title for your biography or autobiography?

Mine would have to have the word 'boring' somewhere in the title.

9. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

I’d buy a bunch of houses spread out around the US, and maybe a few in other countries.  I'd need a beach house in CA, a mountain house in CO, a lake house on the east coast, and a brownstone in NYC, among others.

I'd absolutely hire a personal chef, to like, live with me.  A trainer would be good too.

Then I’d donate big bucks to some charities that mean something to me, like Project Cuddle.  I'd set up some good accounts so I could send my kids to whatever schools they wanted to go to, regardless of the price, and I'd give my sisters a bunch of money so they could get whatever they wanted.

10. Your worst day ever?

Hm.  Gosh.  I'm not sure I guess.  I've been very lucky in the fact that I haven't had much tragedy in my life.

11. Did you resolve to do anything differently this year? How’s that going?

I did.  I'd say that I am doing OK with most of them.  There are a few that   don't seem to working for me at all.  Like cooking dinner more often and dealing with several years of family pictures on three different computers. 

i love lists. i love lamp.

*repost
Somewhere out there is a really really funny blog post that this lady wrote about 23 things she has learned so far in her lifetime.  I have searched and googled and binged and for the life of me, I can't seem to find it.  It was hilarious.  And it gave me the idea for this post.  I wish I could find it to share with you.


Twenty Three Things that I have Learned:


One:  Those new hand dryer things are very blowy.  Seriously, some of the new ones are like industrial strength and they absolutely have the power to flip your dress up Marilyn Monroe style.  However, it is very amusing to watch that crazy strong air moving the skin on your hands around.


Two:  Just let your kid wear the fringed pleather cowboy boots with the tacky Christmas dress to school if she really wants to.  Or also in my case, the full on sparkly ballet costume including matching headdress thing.  Because in the scheme of life, who really cares?  If it makes your kid feel happy and awesome, that definitely matters more than your mild embarrassment over the double takes and weird looks.  Trust me, other parents totally get it.  I promise you they do not think you picked that hideous outfit out.  


Three: Appreciate your skin when it is flawless and young.  Because there will come a time when your kids ask you if you're mad every day because your wrinkled forehead totally looks like a scowl.  There is virtually no way to keep it as great as it was in your twenties.  So love it, and take care of it while you can.  


Four: In keeping with that theme, also appreciate and take care of your bod when its young and tight and cute.  You can't fight gravity and age, but you can slow the hands of time a little.  Take my word for it, it fucking sucks to hear, "Mommy, why do you have those dents in your leg?"  Slather up with sunscreen and good lotion now and it will pay off later.


Five:  You know that little "ass practically on the ground" squat that two-year-olds can get into, and stay into for the duration of an entire episode of Dora the Explorer?  Yeah, don't attempt that.  Or if you do, definitely have somebody stronger than a two-year-old nearby to help you get up off the floor.  Because I think the ability to hold that squat goes away somewhere around the same time as the your amazing skin and tight bod.  Also, I'm pretty sure that the same goes for attempting cartwheels and herkies when you're old enough to have a teenager. 


Six: When you've been standing on line to get into Test Track at Epcot for an hour and fifteen minutes with cranky annoying kids and sweat on your brow, and you notice that the guy in front of you all of a sudden is chatting heavily with a girl that just "happened" to walk by, please recognize that you just got scammed with the traditional "chat and cut" move that sly people try to use to jump the line.  How you choose to deal with that offense is entirely up to you.


Seven: A snore now will be a snore later.  It doesn't matter if they are freaking adorable and a great kisser.  If you have nothing in common (besides the great kissing), nothing to talk about and the person is just plain boring, you will never be able to change that.


Eight:  You don't have to be fall off the bar stool drunk, but let's faced it, talking to certain people is just way more tolerable with alcohol in your system.  I'd say a mellow three drinks or so should do the trick if you need a buffer.


Nine: And on that note, never drink a double bottle of cheap wine by yourself.  Unless you were planning on throwing up in, on or near your bed, and having the worst fucking hangover of your life the next day.


Ten:  There are two kinds of people in the world:  party makers, and party fillers.  If you're fun to be around, chat and generally have a good time, you're probably a maker.  If you stand there looking at your drink and the clock and talking on your cell phone the entire party, you're probably a filler.  You should really figure that out.


Eleven: Everybody needs somebody.  Be a somebody.  It feels really good.


Twelve: Small hands and feet don't necessarily mean anything other than you have small hands and feet.  Give the guy with the little fingers a chance, he may just surprise you.


Thirteen:  You can pretend you don't hear that awful thumpy bumping a car makes when the tire is flat because you don't want to deal with the fact that your tire is flat, but pretending something doesn't exist won't make it not exist.  You have to deal with shitty things sometimes, just get it over with now, because it only gets worse the longer you wait.


Fourteen:  Perfection doesn't actually exist.  So quit knocking yourself out trying to find it or be it.


Fifteen:  If you quit something to avoid failure, you've pretty much actually failed.  


Sixteen:  Ridiculously good looking guys are dicks.  I don't mean to generalize on an entire population, but I would venture a guess that it is true approximately 97% of the time.  It has to be a proven scientific fact somewhere.  Because there's just no denying that when you're extremely attractive, you get away with much more.  And it's a rare person that can be hot and humble and nice and sweet all at the same time.


Seventeen: Recognize that you can't make everyone happy.  Sometimes, you just need to worry about what makes you happy.  And that's OK.  Really.


Eighteen:  Good looks will only get you so far, and that stuff eventually fades.  Smart and kind and genuine usually lasts forever.  Seek those kind of people and surround yourself with them.  Better yet, be one of those kind of people.


Nineteen:  Realize that nobody is looking at you and nobody cares.  And if they are looking and they do care, it's none of your business what they are thinking anyway.  If you don't do things because you are worried about what people might think or say, or you're afraid you'll look stupid or mess up in front of someone, you're tossing away potential valuable experiences. When someone dies, you don't usually hear people say, "Remember that time when she was so pretty..."  You hear, "Remember that time when she totally went for it and ended up hitting a home run?"


Twenty:  Don't leave things on the table.  Too many times people walk away from a situation and say, "I should have..." and feel regret.  Regrets suck.


Twenty One:  Trust people. Life is hard if you have a green pit of worried jealousy in your stomach all of the time.  If someone is going to deceive you, its going to happen whether you're up their ass or not.


Twenty Two: If you are in the line that is going at a snail's pace and you are watching everyone moving swiftly through another line, as soon as you make the decision to bail and switch lanes - it's almost a give in that your original line is going to speed up and you're going to feel pissed that you didn't just wait it out.  Sometimes you have to wait it out.


Twenty Three: A crappy bra isn't your friend.  Do yourself a favor get fitted.  Suck it up and let the girl at Victoria's Secret feel you up for a second, and take a true measurement of your boobs.  Everything looks better when your bra fits right.

some favorite things

Favorite workout song on iPod - Oh man, I have a workout playlist, and it definitely has some high energy tunes on it.  I have a tough time ever picking favorites when it comes to music, but I will say that when the song "Shipping Up to Boston," by the Dropkick Murphy's comes on, I definitely pick up the pace.

Usual at coffee shop - So in my little hick town, there isn't exactly a coffee shop like a Starbucks or anything.  We do have a Dunkin' Donuts though.  WooHOO.  But in all honesty, I like the coffee at a local convenience store, Griffin's, better than any Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts anyway.  They have the brand of coffee that I like, and they also have the only cream that I will use, Hazelnut International Delight.  I only go there when I run out of coffee though, because I make my own at home. 

App addicted to - Besides the regulars, like Safari or Facebook or something, I am a Scramble addict.  It's probably the app I use the most.  And I have a dumb amount of apps for some reason.  But yeah, Scramble.  I can't help it, I love that game.  Wanna get beat?

Item in makeup bag - Oh man.  I don't wear much makeup, but what I do wear I really like.  I use Laura Mercier makeup, it's awesome.  I could probably not give up my under eye cream.  Or my translucent face powder.  It's so soft and silky...  I also use this stuff by Yves St Laurent called Forever Youth Liberator that I'd have a rough time giving up.  It is so great because I definitely think it makes my wrinkles less wrinkly.  It's so expensive though, seriously ridiculous.

Calm spot in house - Ah, my big deep cozy bathtub is a pretty awesome calm spot.  I love to take a bath and just relax in there.  I could read an entire book in that tub.  Happily.

Movie watched the most - I have watched a bunch of 80's movies over and over to the point where I can pretty much recite them word for word - like The Breakfast Club, Pretty In Pink, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller - so many more.  There is no denying that the 80's produced some seriously unforgettable movies.

Favorite website - Ah, another one that's hard to narrow down.  I'll say that I log on to these sites every single day, in this order:  msnbc.com, Facebook, this blog, gmail, pinterest and etsy.  Then from there, it's anyone's guess.  I try to read a bunch of blogs that I like.  Also, I'm kind of into picmonkey lately - it's a very cool photo editing site, and I love messing around with pictures.

Guilty pleasure TV show - Well.  I'll admit that I watch The Bachelor and Bachelorette most seasons.  And Real World, and ugh, 16 and Pregnant.  I usually keep that under my hat though, because it's such mindless, train-wreck, waste-of-an-hour TV.  In certain circles, I may not reveal that information.  It's classified.  And rather embarrassing.  Don't tell anyone.

I'm (blank) because... v1

I'm (weird) because...
I sleep best with one foot out from under the covers.
I forget things like, immediately.
I cannot stand drinking water without ice, except if it's bottled and really cold.
I don't like snuggling while sleeping.
Certain non-word words seriously bother me.  Like fustrated.
I'm scared of swimming at night.
I'm afraid one of my kids will fall out of the car while I am driving.
I enjoy going to the movies alone.
I hate socks.
I'm obsessed with bad breath.
Filing my nails makes me nauseous, in an "I'm about to throw up kind of way."
I love a dirty kid, but I just cannot put a dirty kid to bed.
I mess with my hair when I am nervous.
I like to walk alone at night.


I'm (a bad friend) because...
I don't call to chit chat.
I forget to send cards.
I don't make enough effort to keep in touch.
I do everything last minute.
I don't forgive easily.
I'm not full of great ideas for fun things to do.
I don't invite you over.


I'm (a good friend) because...
I'm not judgemental.
I listen.
I pay attention and notice the details.
I have your back - I am always in your corner.
I offer advice when it's asked for.
I think of you often.
I care about you.
I'm honest and loyal.
I don't monopolize your time.


I'm (sad) because...
Two of my sisters don't live close enough to have coffee on Sundays.
I don't have family dinners enough.
I missed my workout and walk yesterday.
I hate shorts.
My hair looks crappy and I have a zit on my cheek.
I slept bad and feel lonesome.
Sometimes I'm selfish and want things that I cannot have.
I often let guilt and nervous nerves rule my life.
I don't like driving at night anymore.


I'm (happy) because...
I just got to see my kid perform in the city.
I'm going on an adventure soon.
Outdoor soccer started.
I'm going to hang with my sisters this weekend!
I had some excellent Mexican food last night.
My mom's photographs are in an art show.
My kids and husband gave me thoughtful gifts/cards for Mother's Day.
It's sunny and warm!
The cleaning lady is here.
My son is going to the prom tomorrow night and he loves his tux.
Kara is coming home tomorrow, with her probably not ex-boyfriend who I love.


I'm (excited) because...
We put our house on the market.
The people that looked at our house loved it.
We found some awesome property to build on.
We might build a barn.
Summer is getting close.

listicle - things I wish I could delete

Ten things that I wish I could delete, in other words, things that I am sorry for.

I'm going back kinda far here.  I mean, I might as well...

1. I'm sorry that I bit my sisters Ali and Indi on the forehead.  More than one time.  Don't ask.

2. I'm sorry that I threw my sister Jen's Puff the Magic Dragon record down the stairs on purpose and broke it.

3. I'm sorry that I told my sixth grade teacher Mr. Potts that I hated him.  Ah, nah.  I'm not sorry about that, he was a jerk.

4. I'm sorry that I beat Patrick Longthon up on the way home from school sometimes.

5. I'm sorry that I was mean to this kid Andy when he made (and gave) me a Valentine in 5th grade.

6. I'm sorry that I messed things up with a high school boyfriend.  I have a ton of guilt.

7. I'm sorry that I didn't take school seriously enough, high school and college.  Absolute regret.

8. I'm sorry that I had somewhat of a screaming fight with Kara one Easter, one Christmas and one high school Graduation.  That girl knew exactly the button to push to get me to lose it.  I shouldn't have gotten so upset.

9. I'm sorry for the times that I spanked my son Alex in frustration.

10. I'm sorry that I threw an Allen wrench at my husband Alex when I was hormonal and pregnant.  I missed on purpose.  I swear I am not violent.

There are so many more things that I am sorry for, things that I wish I could delete or at least do differently!  I know that I learned important lessons with most of these things, so in a way, even though there were some tough moments, I guess they taught me stuff that I needed to learn.  

It just stinks that most of those lessons were learned at the expense of someone else.  Anyone care to share a moment you wish you could do over?  Come on, I feel all exposed here.

random things that bug me

Every so often I jot down things that bug me, and when I get enough things to merit a post, I share.  So.

It bugs me when people put a line through their sevens and zeros.  Like, are you that concerned that we will not recognize that it is, in fact a seven (or zero)?  Does that line really mean anything anyway?  Somebody mentioned this the other day and I thought to myself that I completely concur.  

Once again, price labels on glass surfaces.  Really?  There is no other possible place to put the label?  Like perhaps the back side or bottom of a thing?  It almost feels like the labelers are purposely mocking me and all of the other shoppers.

It bugs me when you spit your gum out in the parking lot.  On the ground.  Where other people walk.  Come on.  Someone is going to step on it and track it into their car.  And that someone will probably be me.  Not cool.

It bugs me when people say supposubly.  As opposed to supposedly.  Please, please for the love of bacon, supposubly is not a word.  A worse offense is aks instead of ask, or fustrated instead of frustrated.  Why?  Ugh.

It bugs me when I find half drunk (drinken?  drank?  help me.) can of seltzer around.  I am not one to stick my nose up at a half drunk (?) can of seltzer, because I am all about conserving the seltzer, but we all know that it will be flat by the second day so basically it is a totally wrecked can of seltzer.  Lets all say this together: just say no to sandbagging.

It bugs me when I squeeze mustard onto a lovely ham and cheese sandwich and a mustard dribble comes out.  Like a watery dribble of mustard juice.  WTF?  Now my bread is soggy!  How am I even supposed to proceed at this point?

Don't you think that the way segue is spelled is like, not natural?  Who made up that dumb word anyway?  And why would  they spell it in such a way that nobody knows how to pronounce it?  Is it seh-gue?  Seg-way? Seg?  SEEG?  I'm going to go figure it out.

OK, I checked.  It is seg-way according to the dictionary.  I think I always knew that, but it feels so awkward to say, don't you think?  Sort of like bask.

Well there you have it - another edition of things that bug me.  Have any of your own to add?

Things that I suck at

Well you know I recently wrote a post about ten things that I am good at.  I guess it would only be fair to list ten things that I suck at.  I have to balance it all out so you don't just walk away thinking I am perfect or something, right?  This is just the tip of the iceberg though guys, because for some reason, I tend to suck at a lot of things.

1.  I suck at talking myself up.  I just can't sit around and go on about how great I am at like, dog training.  Jenney.

2.  I suck at talking to people that I don't know.  Look.  I am always over analyzing how I sound, how I come off, if I say something stupid.  It's just hard to chit chat when you have a constant monologue with yourself in your head like, me: "Did you really just say that?"  then, me: "Yes, yes I did."  and then again, me: "Are you fucking kidding me, me? You moron."

3.  I suck at talking to people that I do know.  See a pattern here?  I suck at talking in general.  Most often I feel like a bumbling idiot.

4.  I suck at slapping sense into people who need sense slapped into them.  I'm just not good at hurting people's feelings on purpose.  Or not on purpose I guess.

5.  I suck at getting looked at.  I cannot stand when people look at me.  I don't like to feel like a guy that I don't know is checking me out.  It makes me skin-crawly uncomfortable.  You can check me out if I do know you though. :)

6.  I suck at getting looked in.  I know I have had four kids and spent my share of time at the gynecologists office, but it never gets any more comfortable having a doctor guy's face in your naked crotch, or feeling you up while talking about the weather.  I'm pretty sure it never will.

7.  I suck at biting my tongue when someone is an asshole.  Let's just leave it at that.  I have no room for people like that in my life.  And I have a quick temper in very specific situations.

8.  I suck at letting mean things people say or do roll off my back.  Mostly, I just sit on things and rehash them in my head for oh, like ever.  Pretty much forever, yeah.  I'd probably be accurate in saying that I am a holder-onner.

9.  I suck at forgetting mean things.  In keeping with number 8 above.  More than likely if you're mean to me, I'll never forget it.  So, use caution. Just saying.

10.  I suck at forgiving people who have hurt me.  You know, I want to be more forgiving.  I try.  But eight and and nine above hinder that most often.  It's hard to forgive something when you can't forget it, or how it made you feel.  However, I have certainly forgiven some really difficult things that I never expected to.  Which is odd.

7 completely random questions

Questions/answers

1. What is your favorite kind of pasta?

You know, I love orzo.  And baby shells.  I am not sure what it is about tiny pasta that makes me feel a little happy inside, but baby shells and orzo definitely do it for me.

2. How many people did you meet in your life who were really good kissers?

I'm not much of a kisser and teller, but I'd say there were a few really good kissers that I've had the pleasure of locking lips with, maybe one or two stand out as great.  Maybe a handful of really good.  Bad kissers got the door.  Because you can't waste a ton of time trying to mold someone to your liking.  Some things are just not trainable. And kissing is really important.

 

3. What is your favorite book of all time?

This is a question that just doesn't work for me.  It's like asking who your favorite kid is.  There are so many amazing books out there that I love for different reasons, I could never choose one favorite.

4. What have you done that you are most proud of?

Well, I guess there are a few things that I can say I am proud of - one of them is starting, running and owning a successful business.  Probably though, I am the most proud of surviving as a young single mom.  Surviving, doing it on my own and coming out on the other end OK.  And I ended up with an amazing daughter who made it through OK too. 

5. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Really, I want to go to Fiji.  That's the one dreamy place in the world that I imagine would be hard to actually get to. 

6. How many pairs of your underpants are actually doctor-worthy at this point in time?

I would say 98% of my underpants are doctor-worthy.  I don't keep around holey, old, ripped up grungy underwear.  My husband on the other hand flips out if I toss his old underpants because he thinks they are "lucky."  He's a weirdo and has been known to rescue underwear that I've thrown out from the garbage pail.  He's a grungy underwear hoarder.  I do have two pair of dumb comfy boring old plain old underpants that I wouldn't wear in front of anyone.  But sometimes you just need to wear the comfiest thing.  That's why I keep those around. 

7. What movie really, really, really made you cry?

Uh, what movie doesn't?  I am a movie cry baby and I can't help it.  I get emotional!  It's just who I am!  Boys Don't Cry kills me every. single. time, and omg Philidelphia with Tom Hanks, and of course Titanic.  One movie that never fails to make me cry my face off is Steel Magnolias.  Also, Stepmom with Susan Sarandon and then Top Gun - ugh that Goose/Maverick scene ... should I go on?  Because this post could get pretty long.

things about me

Five things that you probably don't know about me:

1.  I am extremely critical of myself.
2.  I quit wearing glasses when i was 14 years old, and basically ruined my eyesight.
3.  I can drive a stick shift like a mofo.
4.  I love organizing.  But I love it the best in my mind.
5.  I always strongly consider foster parenting again or adoption.

Five things that I'm knowledgeable about:
1.  Parenting a bunch of kids.  What can I say, I've been doing it for about 22 years.  I have a      handle on it at this point I think.

2.  Computers, for the most part.  Boring, but true.
3.  Laundry.  I am a laundry expert.  It could possibly be my claim to fame.
4.  Spelling and grammar.  I am a grammar snob.  I am not ashamed.
5.  Building materials.  Weird, I know.  But I pretty much grew up (and worked forever) in a Lumberyard.  Go ahead, ask me about wafer board and paint and trusses and 2x4s.


Before I continue, I would just like to take a moment to say that this is a very sad list.  I had to grasp to come up with things that I could consider myself knowledgeable on.  I need to learn some shit.

Five things that I know nothing about:
1.  Cars.  I can drive.  Kind of.  But i don't get how they work besides the absolute basics.  Fill her up?  Sure.  Put in wiper fluid?  Check. What is a carburetor?  Huh?
2.  Football.  I try to l earn the rules!  I do!  I just don't get the downs and things. I pretty much grasp what a touchdown is, and i know that you get a foul if you grab someone by the face mask (right?), but after that I'm lost.
3.  Hard math.  I can totally do algebra til the cows come home, but try to sit me down in front of anything more difficult than that and I am completely out of my league.  I never did take trig or calculus, i was seriously lucky to have passed geometry.  I think I only passed because my teacher's son had a crush on me.  Go me!
4.  Geography.  Ugh with the school subjects.  I am so not geographically inclined.  I get made fun of for it in my family a lot actually.  Don't ask me geography, for real, unless you want to hear me sound like a dumb blond.
5. Hooking up electronic things.  Like TVs and DVRs and stereos and all of that stuff.  I follow the directions!  But all of those wires eventually just make me feel overloaded and I lose it and end up tossing wrenches and just calling Indi.  Indi is the wizardly sister of mine who can do all things electronically.


Five things that I believe:
1.  I believe that it's really hard and sucky and unfair to have to be on a diet.
2.  I believe that you never fully appreciate your great unflawed young skin til you start getting wrinkles.
3.  I believe that once you try rich man's bacon, you'll never want to go back to the skinny fatty kind.
4.  I believe that that the people that are the most judgemental tend to have a lot of skeletons in their own closets.
5.  I believe that it's actually much more tolerable to talk to certain people with a nice amount of alcohol in my system.

So there you have it.  I'm so into fives lately.  This post is part of the Writers Workshop over at MamaKat's Losin It. Head on over to see the other posts too!