celebrating mediocrity

A little rant on something that really bugs me:

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only person who thinks that it is insane to give a kid a trophy when they didn't win.  To let a kid win at a game every time so they don't get disappointed,  and to expect teams to hand out the same awards to every team, regardless of their standing drives me nuts.  To not keep score!  (and trust me -- they keep score, those little kids.  don't let them fool ya.)


Guess what guys, in the real world, we have disappointments.  Maybe I am wrong, but those little things like actually not making the team and losing sometimes are the very things that help us learn how to manage disappointment in real life.  It also teaches us to work really really hard, so maybe next year, we will make the team, or help the team to win.  I also truly think that when a child works really hard to do well, they appreciate and value their trophy that much more than if it was just handed to them.


Trust me, I know how it feels to watch your kid be second best, and to actually to be second best, or third best (have I ever mentioned how klutzy and uncoordinated I am) -- it sucks.  But the way we teach them how to get through that disappointment ultimately will help them out as adults.


What is going to happen to that child who never learned that life isn't always fair and equal?  That we don't always all get the gold medal?  What if that boy gets passed up for a promotion, that girl gets told that her client is unimpressed?  How are they going to manage that?


Oh, I don't whip the pants off my 5 year-old every time we play Old Maid just because I can.  I let her win sometimes, I'm not heartless. Let's be real, we all know that not too many 5 year-old's have their poker face yet.  But really, when my kid stomps off mad that she lost, we talk about how it is to be a gracious loser, how to be a good sport.  How to say "Good game, want to play again?"  How to high five someone, then tell them you're going to crush them in the next game.  All in good fun, of course.

Because really, if everyone gets the gold medal, what difference does it make how good you are and how hard you play and how much effort you put in? The best player on the team is as good as the worst player, and the worst player has nothing to work towards, because it doesn't really matter how good he is -- he's still going to get that medal.

I don't know.  Maybe I sound like a mean mom.  Maybe I just hate a hundred dusty trophies all over the place.  I just think that when we teach our kids to celebrate mediocrity, we are forgetting the bigger picture - and I kind of think that the bigger picture includes teaching our kids that they have to work hard to achieve something great.  That it is worth it to achieve greatness.