Things Mom's Say

...at least in our house.




Would you burp like that if the President was here for dinner?



Get off of your sister's face please.



Do not whip your brother with Nanny!



We don't say kill you.



We don't say half-wit.



Please do not lick your meatball.



Please do not lick the door knob.



You are not allowed to get the ice-cream truck naked!!



No, we cannot have skittles and orange soda for dinner.



Do not shoot your sister again, or you will sit on the stairs.



No, not ALL mommies have those dents on their legs. Thanks.



Can anyone tell me why there is applesauce in my shoe?



I will spank your bare hiney right here in public if you do that again!



Little girls are not really supposed to drink coffee for breakfast.



Do you really want dirty little germs to build their dirty little germ houses on your teeth? Good.  Then brush!



Why does your blankie have a leash on it??



No you can NOT try to blow up a potato with gasoline.



No, rocks don't catch on fire. Wait, WHY??!



Maybe you can jump off the bridge when you're eight.



Not it!!!!!



I will pay you if you play one more season of baseball.



Uncooked spaghetti is probably not considered a healthy snack.



Because jumping off the shed onto the trampoline is dangerous, that's why!



We don't say, "poop on a shingle."



We don't say, "pooped in your face."



If I hear the word "poop" one more time at the dinner table, someone is sitting on the stairs!



No, I will not give you $39 to buy a BB gun.



Who ate bee yo-yos* in my bed???!!



Is that my toothbrush that you are using on your doll's hair??!



Because I'm the Mommy, that's why.





*bee yo yo = Honeynut Cheerios.

reposting from sometime last year...

putting it all out there

I remember being little, and laying in bed with my sister Ali and begging her to teach me how to burp.  I just couldn't get it.  She could burp so great and loud and she could burp words and the partial alphabet.

I really was jealous.

So I practiced and practiced.  I could never get the concept of swallowing air and it drove me crazy.  Kind of similar to my quest to be a great whistler, just a little more on the crude side.

I'm not sure at what point it was that I unintentionally became a great burper.  But yes, it happened.  Yes it did. 

I love to burp.

My mother yells at me (I am 40 Mom!) and tells me she hopes that I accidentally burp when I am with a group of important people.  My daughter Kara glares at me every time I burp, and pretends to throw up.  My son high fives me.  Sometimes I hear "nice one!" from one of the kids nearby, which just validates my skill.

But the most embarrassing thing recently happened, so I might as well just put it out there for all the world to see. 

My husband called me from work -- we chit chat briefly a few times a day, so no big deal.   Here is how the conversation went for your viewing pleasure:

Me: "Hello?"

My husband: "Hey hon, what are you doing."

Me: "BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP. Nothing"

Fumble fumble fumble, then my husband: "Oh. My. God!  You were on speaker phone and my door is open!"

Me, feeling a little mortified but defiant: "Well that's what you get for calling me on speaker phone!"

I am laughing just thinking about how funny it sounded, not the burp - my husband fumbling to pick up the phone really fast - like he could possibly cut me off in mid-burp.

Not one of my finer moments I guess.

Yeah well, he never called me on speaker phone again.

celebrating mediocrity

A little rant on something that really bugs me:

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only person who thinks that it is insane to give a kid a trophy when they didn't win.  To let a kid win at a game every time so they don't get disappointed,  and to expect teams to hand out the same awards to every team, regardless of their standing drives me nuts.  To not keep score!  (and trust me -- they keep score, those little kids.  don't let them fool ya.)


Guess what guys, in the real world, we have disappointments.  Maybe I am wrong, but those little things like actually not making the team and losing sometimes are the very things that help us learn how to manage disappointment in real life.  It also teaches us to work really really hard, so maybe next year, we will make the team, or help the team to win.  I also truly think that when a child works really hard to do well, they appreciate and value their trophy that much more than if it was just handed to them.


Trust me, I know how it feels to watch your kid be second best, and to actually to be second best, or third best (have I ever mentioned how klutzy and uncoordinated I am) -- it sucks.  But the way we teach them how to get through that disappointment ultimately will help them out as adults.


What is going to happen to that child who never learned that life isn't always fair and equal?  That we don't always all get the gold medal?  What if that boy gets passed up for a promotion, that girl gets told that her client is unimpressed?  How are they going to manage that?


Oh, I don't whip the pants off my 5 year-old every time we play Old Maid just because I can.  I let her win sometimes, I'm not heartless. Let's be real, we all know that not too many 5 year-old's have their poker face yet.  But really, when my kid stomps off mad that she lost, we talk about how it is to be a gracious loser, how to be a good sport.  How to say "Good game, want to play again?"  How to high five someone, then tell them you're going to crush them in the next game.  All in good fun, of course.

Because really, if everyone gets the gold medal, what difference does it make how good you are and how hard you play and how much effort you put in? The best player on the team is as good as the worst player, and the worst player has nothing to work towards, because it doesn't really matter how good he is -- he's still going to get that medal.

I don't know.  Maybe I sound like a mean mom.  Maybe I just hate a hundred dusty trophies all over the place.  I just think that when we teach our kids to celebrate mediocrity, we are forgetting the bigger picture - and I kind of think that the bigger picture includes teaching our kids that they have to work hard to achieve something great.  That it is worth it to achieve greatness. 

cellos, baritones and marching band

I so wish I could play the cello.

That is going to be on my bucket list.  Come to think of it, I need to make a bucket list.  And a will.

What's that you say? Your husband isn't even an attorney and YOU have a will?  Interesting.

Maybe since I am going to have hours of alone time when the kids go to school, I could take cello lessons!

Ah, I probably won't be able to find an instructor, I remember when Kara was little and I wanted her to play the violin.  Of course they didn't offer that at our school, so she had to settle for the sax.  And the piano.  But I still wish she had violin in her repertoire.

my horn!  well, not my horn, but this is just what it looked like.

When I was in high school, I played the ULTRA COOL Baritone horn.  Looks like a little tuba.  Yeah, I was all that.  Actually though, it was kind of cool because I was always the only baritone player in my band, so I got to go to All County and All State every year.  Anything to get out of class, right?  And I was the only girl baritone player that I ever met, which was just great because I stood right out in a crowd.  A crowd of band geeks. [band geek or not, I loved band] Even cooler, when I lived in Colorado for a year, I marched in the marching band for a semester.  Oh, I was TERRIBLE at marching.

1987 me [with my cousin Seth] in my marching uniform.  Man, I look young.

All of the other kids had been marching since 9th grade, and I never had to learn to memorize music while walking and making formations!  I am the least coordinated person I know!  Besides that, I can't see well out of one eye, and you always had to be eyeing the person next to you so you were in line, and oh.  Let's just say that it was bad.  My school in CO was huge - Cherry Creek - it was kinda like a small college, and the marching band was in serious competitions.  I can remember watching video of us competing and me being SO CLEARLY OUT OF FORMATION.  That is my worst nightmare.  An actual video showing how klutzy and uncoordinated I am/was for all the world to see.  Poor Mr. Selby.  He must have wished I never showed up in the band hall that fateful day.

I don't think the cello is geeky.  I am going to look for an instructor.

wordless wednesday

Beach Photo

I just took this picture of Brenna on the beach in the Outer Banks. I thought it might be neat for the beach challenge on iheartfaces. I love that site - if you enjoy taking photos, be sure to check it out!

OBX Vacation

Year twelve of vacationing on the Outer Banks with my sisters, their families and my parents, and we spent the last two weeks just hanging and relaxing - all 22 of us.  I wasn't ready to come home.

Family Vacation, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways:


1. The long and predictable drive, complete with a crammed van of sleepy kids, and all of the typical jokes, comments and profanities made with each other on the walkie-talkies.

 2. Family soccer

3. The pool, the pool tunes, misc floating in the pool, the water aerobics classes held by Mom, the races and the underwater breath holding contests, lots and lots of reading in the pool

*please note the girlish Mich Light Lime Cactus that T-bone is trying to conceal in his tube

4. BINGO poolside, for cold hard cash



A few games of twilight bingo too



5. The beach, boogie boarding, sand castles, shells and relaxing 

The "BAYWATCH Life Guard Challenge," that T-Bone shockingly won. I put my $ on John. 

Bren the Gymnast

Getting chased by the waves

Ty and Bren - serious boogie boarding

John flexing while getting ready to hit the waves

Kar and Brookie building a castle

 6. Boot camp by John and KK (not for sissies)

7.  Morning walks and coffee on the deck

This is only part of the crew.  John & KK were kite surfing.

8. Reading, reading and more reading

Alex's foul reading material.

Jen re-reading Dexter.  And snoring in the pool.  Interesting.

9. Heated games of Scrabble, Yahtzee, Boggle and Bananagrams



Indi cheating


10. Family, cousins...

Fronk made it in the pack??