Friday, September 10, 2010

I just threw up in my mouth a little

A few random thoughts for this lovely September morn (oh! that just made me think of the old song "September Morn" by Neil Diamond.  Yes, I just put that out there. I love Neil Diamond):

ANYWAY.  Fruit Flies suck ass.  How come even after I removed all of the fruit and moisture in my kitchen they are still kamikaze flying in my face?  Of course I googled how to get rid of stupid fruit flies and none of the so-called solutions seem to work well.  Then I read the part that said fruit flies inject their eggs into the fruit they are hanging out on.  In other words, every time I happily bite into a banana, I am also munching on fly eggs or larvae or some other gross crap.  That's where I threw up in my mouth a little.  No really.  Some things are better left un-learned.  I am, in fact, sorry I just had to share that disgusting bit of information with you.




I really like that movie Hairspray.  I'm not sure why I was so resistant to watching it in the first place.  I wonder if it is still on Broadway, because it would be great to see the live version.  Now that is something that wouldn't make me puke if I googled it.

I think my all consuming love of Vampire Diaries is bordering on unhealthy.

Why in God's name would anyone choose to be roasted?  Like, does roasting someone mean that everyone really likes them?  I mean, all of the roasters slam the crap out of the roastees for an hour and a half, then smile and hug each other or shake hands when it's over.  Like, really?  If you just sat there and talked crap about me and my family and the things that are important to me, I pretty much think I'd want to go all blanket party on you.

Speaking of parties, one of my favorite parts of the movie Anchorman is when Steve Carell's character Brick is trying to invite Veronica Corningstone to a pants party.  Then she says, "Are you trying to tell me there's a party in your pants and I'm invited?"  and he says something like "Yes.  Yes I am." bahahah.  That makes me laugh every single time I see it.



What if I started swearing more often?  Like, what if I inserted blanking swear words every other blanking time I said a blank blank word?  I think that might just blanking shock people.  Sometimes I really want to say the F word.  My little kids think the S word is "Shut up."  That just proves how much we don't f-ing swear in our house.

I am pretty darned sure that I could walk around in a bookstore all day and be completely happy.

2 comments:

  1. love these random thoughts & relate to all!

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  2. Hey Jessee..have you tried a couple of tablespoons of cider vinegar in a shallow dish covered with plastic wrap, poke a few holes in the plastic wrap, the bugs fly in and can't escape (this works best when done overnight). Good luck and I too threw up in my mouth when I thought of "sharing" my banana..yuck!!!

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