If I were you, I wouldn't even go there.

My great advice for the day -- do not, what ever you do, make the mistake of ordering a Caramel Frappe from McDonald's.

I'm just trying to be a good friend here.

Besides the fact that I felt like an idiot ordering it - do you pronounce it like FRAPE?  or FRAPP?  or FRAPAY?  It's so embarrassing, you're all like "Can I have a Caramel hmmhmmhmm?" in hopes that they just get what you mean.  And they're like "A what??" and then you say "A Caramel fra-pay?" like sort of quiet so you don't sound dumb.  I hate when a clearly AMERICAN chain food store tries to go all French on me.  Like - how is a girl who took four years of Spanish in high school supposed to know how to order that?  I do my best to avoid ordering things that I cannot pronounce, unless I am seated and can all smoothly point to the item on the menu.  We're doing the drive-thru thing at McD's, you know - so there just is no way to point.

So anyway, I made the mistake of buying a Caramel Frappe from McDonald's recently, I had a coupon for a free one.  My rationale is that it would have been a crime to just throw away an opportunity for a free frappe!  and O.M.G. I should have just thrown away the coupon.  That thing is amazing.  So of course, I checked the calorie/fat content after I tried it and loved it and did my best to get every last drop that was in the cup.  Which is the kind of thing that always happens to me.

So, do you want to dirty details on the freaking amazing Frappe?

OK, you asked for it.  FIVE HUNDRED and FIFTY disgraceful calories and TWENTY FREAKING FOUR big fat grams of fat.  Hmm.  So for your average person who wants to drop a few (or 80) pounds, that is pretty much half of the calories you should be eating a day.  WTF??!

That's just mean.