The prompt is in bold.
Exhausted, Jemmie sat waiting to be released for the day when she noticed the splotch from her perch on the edge of the wooden chair. She smoothed her apron and pushed back a damp lock of hair, the disappointment clear in her dark eyes.
She quietly rose and crossed the room, hoping Mrs. Carrington wouldn’t come for her anytime soon. Reaching for the familiar rag and bucket beside the kitchen cupboard, she sighed. Her back howled as she gingerly got down on her hands and knees.
“This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet.
Hot tears filled her eyes when she heard the familiar sharp footsteps echoing down the hall.
Very well done, Jessee! It's like an excerpt from a novel. You've captured something very real.
ReplyDeleteThis is really well written! I love the line "her back howled", I can picture her hesitant bending to her chores in my mind. This stands on it's own beautifully, but also feels like part of a much larger story. Would love to read more. Kat
ReplyDeleteThis was so well down. So realistically presented of a hard working person. I can feel for them.
ReplyDeleteSuch wonderful writing style...Peace and blessings
ReplyDeleteThis was very, very good! Hints of a backstory that I would love to know.
ReplyDeleteThis leaves me wanting more, much more. You have a gift with words.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
Gosh what a great start to a story - you are going to write the rest aren't you?!
ReplyDeleteMeow!
ReplyDeleteThere's atmosphere here! Very well done! You can imagine a hard life lived by the protagonist. I like the description of an aching back as "her back howled".
Wonderfully suggestive post!
You should do more with this. Write a short story or a novel!
Love it!
Purrs,
Sara Cat
Sara Cat's SC Week #20
I love the scene and emotions you have captured here, nice writing!
ReplyDeleteoh that poor girl. i feel it, I am sorry I am late to come by. I try to read them all before the next week, this week I am behind!
ReplyDeleteGreat use of the prompt! A text that 'grabs you'.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes,
Anna
Anna's SC-Week-20
Darn that wicked step-mother! Or someone close to it!
ReplyDeleteI love the visualization each word offered up in this tiny, perfect story.
Your words always flow so well.
Thank you for linking.
Great job with the prompt! The fear was palpable. Excellent story telling!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this great post. The imagery is clear and the fear visceral. Good writing!
ReplyDelete