Saturday, September 18, 2010

Saturday Centus 20

I'm participating in Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus, where she gives a weekly themed prompt, and you can use UP to 100 words (not including the prompt) to tell your story. It can be fact or fiction. The only restrictions are: The prompt must be left intact AND you cannot split up the words in the prompt.


The prompt is in bold.


Exhausted, Jemmie sat waiting to be released for the day when she noticed the splotch from her perch on the edge of the wooden chair.  She smoothed her apron and pushed back a damp lock of hair, the disappointment clear in her dark eyes.

She quietly rose and crossed the room, hoping Mrs. Carrington wouldn’t come for her anytime soon.  Reaching for the familiar rag and bucket beside the kitchen cupboard, she sighed.  Her back howled as she gingerly got down on her hands and knees.

“This is never going to come out," she thought as she scrubbed at the spot on the worn carpet.

Hot tears filled her eyes when she heard the familiar sharp footsteps echoing down the hall.


14 comments:

  1. Very well done, Jessee! It's like an excerpt from a novel. You've captured something very real.

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  2. This is really well written! I love the line "her back howled", I can picture her hesitant bending to her chores in my mind. This stands on it's own beautifully, but also feels like part of a much larger story. Would love to read more. Kat

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  3. This was so well down. So realistically presented of a hard working person. I can feel for them.

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  4. Such wonderful writing style...Peace and blessings

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  5. This was very, very good! Hints of a backstory that I would love to know.

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  6. This leaves me wanting more, much more. You have a gift with words.
    xoRobyn

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  7. Gosh what a great start to a story - you are going to write the rest aren't you?!

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  8. Meow!
    There's atmosphere here! Very well done! You can imagine a hard life lived by the protagonist. I like the description of an aching back as "her back howled".
    Wonderfully suggestive post!
    You should do more with this. Write a short story or a novel!
    Love it!
    Purrs,
    Sara Cat
    Sara Cat's SC Week #20

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  9. I love the scene and emotions you have captured here, nice writing!

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  10. oh that poor girl. i feel it, I am sorry I am late to come by. I try to read them all before the next week, this week I am behind!

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  11. Great use of the prompt! A text that 'grabs you'.
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's SC-Week-20

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  12. Darn that wicked step-mother! Or someone close to it!

    I love the visualization each word offered up in this tiny, perfect story.

    Your words always flow so well.

    Thank you for linking.

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  13. Great job with the prompt! The fear was palpable. Excellent story telling!

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  14. Thanks for this great post. The imagery is clear and the fear visceral. Good writing!

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