Well, don't call me anti-social to my face. I don't need reminding. Apparently, being anti-social is a bad thing.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with being comfortable with just the friends that I have. Which I admit are very few. But that is by choice. It's a comfort thing. I am not very good at opening up, and I am not very good at putting myself out there. I know why I am the way that I am.
It's is not like to the point of holing up in the house and never leaving or anything. I definitely am in social situations when it's necessary, and I can hold my own. I will converse, I will participate kind of. I'm not a jerk. I don't stand plastered against the wall frozen in fear, or need to hold on to my husband's arm like he is my life line. But I don't particularly seek out social situations where I need to talk to people that aren't in my tiny little circle of friends. I don't necessarily feel like I need any more people in my circle. I'm content with what I have. I know what to expect from my friends, and they know what to expect from me.
This makes my husband crazy. He is the exact opposite of me. He can go anywhere, with anyone, and be completely at ease. He can strike up a conversation and keep it going and come off as witty and intelligent. Often times he doesn't shut his trap even. But it seems to work for him, because really, he's very well liked. For the life of me, I can't imagine why he didn't pick someone more like him.
If I am in a conversation with people that I am uncomfortable around, I am usually second guessing every word that comes out of my mouth. I am constantly going over what I've said to make sure I don't come off as stupid or boring. It's exhausting actually.
The thing is though, I am pretty happy being "anti-social." I like where I am. I have friends, family, very specific people that I like and feel comfortable with. I don't need or want what comes with being super social. I like my space. I like my privacy. I like not being an open book to everyone.
The only thing that I don't like is the discomfort I feel when I have to be "on." I admit that it must be easier not being like me. But I'm good. For now.
I have a son that is more like you. I always say that he likes to "keep his own counsel."
ReplyDeleteThe good news is, when he speaks, it is well worth listening to!
As for your husband, I think we tend to choose mates that balance us out, so your being together makes perfect sense to me.
=)
Well, I live on the top of a mountain all by myself (a few animal companions) so I understand antisocial..maybe I'm a hermit, but it suits me....
ReplyDeleteAre you sure we weren't separated at birth?
ReplyDeleteHa...Hunky Hubby and I are like you and your hubs only flip-flopped. He is not anti-social either...we call it reserved. Happy AlphabetSoup!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this! When I am with my art friends, I can really be myself, but when I am with people who are way too conservative for me, I am constantly on my guard and tend to withdraw.
ReplyDeleteJess, I thought you were perfect at Chris's wedding, you said just enough words to leave a lot of open space for me to fill up with mine!
ReplyDeleteAgreed, putting youself out there is challenging to say the least. I'm friendly with most but close to few...works for me:)
ReplyDeleteYou ARE good--just the way you are! You are perfectly YOU. You and your husband balance each other, and that can be very good.
ReplyDeleteDon't fret.
Even extroverts can't be intimate friends with everyone.
You aren't anti-social at all. You are unique and wonderful just the way you are!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you found a perfect balance in your husband...and remember that you balance him, too!
I enjoyed your share here, Miss Jessee.
This was a thought provoking Alphabet Soup link!
A+