jello could fracture a union

So last night, Alex rolls in at 9:37 pm talking about his day.  Meanwhile, I have just discovered that my very special treat is nowhere to be found.  And how am I supposed to sit on the couch and watch TV without my very special treat?  It was a shocking discovery, I tell you.  And a discovery that made me feel a snitch cranky.

Me: “I have one thing to say to you, and one thing only.”


Hon with a sideways glance: “That I am handsome?”


Me: “No. Not that you are handsome. That it seems to me that someone took my last jello without mentioning it to me. Do you have anything you want to say about that?”


Alex, one of the people in this house who knows better than to take my jello: “Ohhhh! Dad!”


Hon after a long pause: “I plead the fifth?”


Me: “You don’t get the luxury of pleading the fifth. We are not in a court of law.”


Alex, loving this conversation: “Ohhhhh! Dad!”


Hon : “I am very important! I have many leather bound books.”


Me: “You are not Ron Burgundy.”


Hon: “I love lamp?”


Me: ”Stay away from my jello!”


Hon: “I’m 72% sure that I love you.”


Me: “We are definitely in a fight.”