Wednesday, March 23, 2016

What do Girls Scouts, Phil Collins and mental math have in common?

You're probably wondering if I will answer that question in this blog post. And yes, yes I will. In due time. 

In due time.  Who says that? Apparently me. But hardly ever.

ANYway,  guess what??  A ton of you guys are just as boring and bland and average as I am!  No offense, but I find that kind of exciting.  I bet you are wondering how I could possibly know that interesting information about all of you.  I will just say that I read an article on the top ten resolutions that women make for the new year or something -- and guess whose three resolutions were in the top ten?  Mine!  So yeah.  Because we're all like, so similar!

But that's not what this post is about.

This post is about what a racket I think Girl Scouts have going on.  I mean the cookie part.

Lets be real -- how many people would normally spend $4 on a tiny little box of cookies??  The Girl Scout Racketeers get these cute little kids to walk around in their cute little uniforms and smile their cute little smiles, and then beg you for your cold hard cash in exchange for a couple of cookies. A thing that maybe holds 16 cookies, because doesn't it seem like they've really reduced the amount of cookies that they fit in those boxes??  I will refer to that concept as shrinkage.  Similar to George Costanza's concept, but not really.  So anyway, then those racketeers go ahead and scare you with the fact that you can only buy the (insert air quotes) "very special" cookies like once a year!

So then you find yourself trying to make a chart on how many boxes per month you think you your family will chomp through, and you know, with a family of five (that occasionally includes a boy that  eats like a small horse) you would say that a fair assumption would be 8. Eight boxes a month.  So if you multiply eight boxes a month by twelve months, you end up buying a truckload of 96 boxes. You know, just to be on the safe side.  So then you go ahead and multiply the 96 boxes by the freaking four bucks a box and Cod help us all, we've just spent 384 bucks on cookies!!  See what I mean about a racket??

I'd just like to point out that I multiplied all of that in my head.

Anyway -- it's a RACKET I tell you!

Well I am only buying eight boxes in total. That's a resolution right there. And I am going to hoard them.  And I will shamelessly eat them in private. And I might share a few, but there's no absolute definitive in that statement. Because I am the mom.  And I have that kind of power. Not like the Wonder Twins kind of power, but the Mother who makes and enforces the rules kind of Power.  Which is pretty much as hard core as Wonder Twin powers, if you ask me.

p.s. I kinda forgot all about Phil Collins. I am typing this post while listening to my best ever 80's playlist on Spotify, and I just was pleasantly reminded of him when a cool old tune of his came on. You rock on Phil!

And THAT is what Girl Scouts, Phil Collins and mental math have in common. Mostly the fact that they all showed up in one random post, but still.


  1. I've never been a girl scout cookie fan. I know I should support the cause, but...rarely do. Should I feel guilty? I'm a fan of Phil too. It's funny how singers and songs bring back certain memories and then you associate the feelings you get from the memories with the songs or the singer. Anyway, a lot of mixed feelings come up when I hear his songs. Bittersweet ones. But still a fan.

    1. I 100% get the memory association with songs/singers. I really have to be careful with certain playlists - it can totally change or exacerbate a mood, and then I'm crying in my car in the garage.