It's no secret that I'm not the best drinker out there. Well, it's no secret if you happen to be a reader of this blog. If not, feel free to reference the archives:
On Becoming a Wino
It's Gin O'clock Somewhere
To Drink or Not to Drink. That is the Question
I always liked the way it looks, to hold a glass of red wine in your hand. It just seems casually cool somehow. There are definitely drawbacks though! Not all wines taste alike, so it's a crapshoot whether you'll like what you've been poured, if you ask me.
Red wine gives you stained teeth. That is a fact. Did you know they actually make teeth wipes for that? If not, they will change your life. You're welcome.
Red wine gives you a purple mustache. Like the kind you got when you were a kid and just chugged a glass of grape Kool Aid. It's not the best, most flattering look... unless you're Tom Selleck. Because everyone knows he can rock a mustache, no matter what color it is.
Also, red wine has a lot of calories. Especially if your drink of choice is normally water or seltzer. I hate to drink calories. I'd rather have a peanut butter cup. Seriously.
On the plane home from somewhere recently, I got free wine. I was all excited, because alcohol on flights usually run like ten bucks for a portion the size of my fingernail, so of course I got some, because, you know, free stuff! Unfortunately, it was disgusting. It had to have been cheap crappy wine. Besides, what airline gives out anything for free? Maybe those stewardesses were trying to shut us up. I took one sip. Then gagged a little. Then unfortunately had to hold my plastic cup of gross red wine til the stewardess decided to come back for garbage. Because I was stuck like a sausage between two tall guys with extra long legs and could barely lift my arms, let alone get up to throw something away.
So ANYway, the whole point of this post was that guess what guys?? I finally found a wine that I really like!! I didn't even have to fake drink it OR sandbag!! It is not, however, a red. The unfortunate thing about this wine is that it is rather expensive, and I have to special order it. Also, they seem to only come in miniature, smaller than the norm bottles. Those guys at the Mondavi Winery are killing me. Or maybe they have my back, because I could definitely drink too much of this stuff. It's called Moscato D'Oro, and my sister found it at the Mondavi Winery in California.
It's just sweet and fruity and mmmmmm... I think it is considered a dessert wine, but it's somewhat of a dessert in itself.
I felt the need to share this exciting news with you. Remember, you probably will have to special order it - also, please make sure to have it chilled before I come over. It was really good cold. I'll bring the glasses.