it's gin o'clock somewhere!

My girls and I are getting ready to head to the pool, kids are all suncreened up waiting by the door in their swimsuits.

As I grab some Popsicles and start filling my water bottle with crystal lite lemonade to swig on poolside, it occurs to me that it might be kind of an interesting concept to turn the crystal lite into a mixed drink.  Like, just chill at the pool sipping a little something while watching my kids do tricks.

But then I think to myself, self, you are dumb.  a)  you don't even like alcohol, b) it's 2:00 in the afternoon, and c) what if you get tipsy.

Well, in answer to a, it's true, I don't like alcohol straight, like a glass of vodka or something.  Um.  Gross.  That would never make it past my gag reflex.  But mixed, I think I wouldn't hate it.  I need to mask alcohol.  With sweetness.  Which kind of actually makes it stupid to drink, generally speaking.  Unless your sole purpose for drinking is to get drunk.  And mine isn't.  And b, yes, it is 2:00 in the afternoon.  Clearly it's not appropriate for a mom out watching her kids swimming to be throwing back mixed drinks, right?  My kids are all competent deep end swimmers, but I do have to be on top of my game in case one of them gets jumped on or something.  And who gets drunk at 2:00?  A lush?  Someone on vacation?  But really, sometimes it's OK to throw caution to the wind.  I mean, it is gin o'clock somewhere, right?  In answer to c, it isn't what if I get tipsy.  It should be, I will definitely get tipsy.  Because I know me.  And I know I have no tolerance for alcohol.  If I have a mixed drink, I will be silly.  And possibly trip and slur more than I usually do.  One drink will do it, and yes I do know I am a lightweight embarrassment to good drinkers everywhere.

The sad thing is, if I chose to go ahead and throw caution to the wind and spike my drink, I would be perusing the cabinets for something that doesn't even exist in my cabinets.  There is no alcohol here.  Unless you include a bottle of some disgusting after dinner liqueur that someone gave us as a gift at one of our Christmas parties.

And I'm pretty positive that wouldn't mix well with lemonade.