Thursday, January 31, 2013
hey! you got unfriended!
Nah, I'm kind of glad there isn't a notification when someone unfriends you on Facebook. It's the virtual equivalent of going to your regular table in the lunch room and realizing that your seat is taken. And nobody will look you in the eye. So you just stand there holding your lunch tray looking like an awkward loser and feeling horrible.
I can't handle such rejection. Rejection is my worst thing.
I have no idea how many people have unfriended me on Facebook. I'm not one of those people who pays attention to how many "friends" I have. I don't keep track. I only know of one or two instances that I've been unfriended. Incidentally, did you know that the word "unfriend" is actually in the dictionary?
Anyway, I was unfriended after a facebook tiff, which is so beyond the norm for me. I am a natural conflict avoider, in real life and online, but I was really offended by the straight up uncalled for rudeness and utter ignorance with something this person posted. There was no way I couldn't comment. I believe I conveyed my thoughts respectfully. Apparently, people whose opinions differ from this person's opinion get unfriended. I'm totally OK with it, it's not like we were really real live friends anyway. Though I have to admit that I do miss some of her interesting posts.
The other time I was unfriended, I was slightly offended. Mostly because there was no good reason to unfriend me. And he friend requested me! Ah, I guess the fact that we aren't actually friends could be the reason. I mean, we grew up together, but this guy was super shy - I'm not even sure I know what his voice sounds like. Our lockers were near each other though because we were both W's. Maybe that's why he friended me. After the unfriending incident, I happened to walk past this guy at the grocery store and I was all thinking, that jackass that I haven't spoken to since 11th grade unfriended me?! Well who does he think he is?? But then I decided, at least he has the balls to unfriend someone. So I got over it.
I personally have a hard time unfriending anyone. And it kills me to ignore a friend request. It makes me feel so mean! It goes way back, but I never want to be someone to hurt another person's feelings. Sometimes at my own expense it seems. And then sometimes I think, why in the world do I care if I say no to a friend request from some random person that I barely knew, or don't even know, or honestly don't WANT to know?
There really isn't a delicate way to unfriend someone though, is there? When you just quietly and sneakily unfriend someone without explanation, it could hurt some feelings. But who wants to explain such a thing?? What are you going to say, Uh, I don't want to be your friend anymore because I'm sick of your annoying woe-is-me-passive/aggressive posts? Or, your fake bullshit my-life-is-perfect-and-you-suck-at-life posts are driving me fucking nuts?
Those posters get on my last nerve.
I also have an aversion to the posters who rant about their political or religious beliefs. I don't mind a mention. I mean, I suppose Facebook is this generation's forum for getting your voice heard, but just, I can't stand the ranters. I fairly recently had a "friend" who was so blatantly racist with a political rant, it disgusted me. A while back, I posted a list - The Worst Kinds of Facebook Posts, and it got a ton of traffic for some reason. It gets a little more in depth about the posters that I can't stand if you want to check it out.
Maybe before unfriending someone, you should post a generic letter of intent, so you don't take anyone by surprise. Because otherwise, you're guaranteed to run into them at the local Farmer's Market and have one of those awkward "I unfriended you because you're annoying and I know that you know but we wont mention it" types of run-ins. And let's face it, nobody like those kind of run-ins.
I guess there's something to be said for privacy settings, because let's face it, I'm probably not unfriending anyone in the near future. If you use the privacy settings right, you can keep lots of things private from certain people, and you can get certain crazy people's annoying shit off of your news feed. Sounds like a good tool.
New February resolution: Clean up my Facebook friends and the privacy settings associated with them. I'll keep you informed of my progress. And unless you get a generic letter of intent to be unfriended, we're all good. I'm sure you were shaking in your boots.