Wednesday, January 18, 2012

please can't we just forget about these hideous trends?

Trends of 2011 that need to go.  I mean, srsly.  (That needs to go too - you know, irritating text speak)






Hair feathers -- I admit I let my girls each get one of these things.  Key words are little girls.  Grown women have no good reason to put feathers in their hair.  Unless they are trying to fly.  And I'm pretty sure they aren't.






Running feet shoes -- I happened to see these first on ScarJo in a magazine over the summer. and I was like, WTF is up with her foot?  I thought they were hideous then. And I still think they are.  Really, you have to admit that they are a little freaky.  They look like frog feet or something.  I will say that I have never actually tried them on.  They could be crazy comfy.  Scarlett should toss them like she tossed Sean Penn.  Or did he toss her?






Riding boots - Because what about the people who have fat calves?  I know, I know, everyone has these kind of boots, and I actually think they look cute and trendy and hipster, but if you have a larger lower leg, they are not exactly flattering.  So for all of the girls out there who have larger than average calves, I care.  I feel your pain.






Super sexy Halloween costumes - Actually, I am not opposed to sexy Halloween costumes.  Maybe I am opposed on them for me personally, but I don't really care if a grown up wants to go out there and rock the sexy Police-woman-in-a-short-skirt-with-her-boobs-hanging-out look.  Whatever floats your boat.  But I am largely opposed to sexy Halloween costumes for kids.  Not OK.  I should not see a sexed up kid walking in the Halloween parade at the elementary school.


Shape up shoes - Another one of those trends that I never exactly tried myself.  Maybe they are great.  But I just think they are not exactly the most stylish looking sneakers on the shelves.  They look like somewhat the orthopedic shoes that my grandmother used to wear in the nursing home.






Butt writing - I just do not get the appeal of advertising on the ass.  Sorry.






Pajama jeans - Really, you can't take the 30 seconds it takes to take off your PJ's and throw on a pair of jeans?  You really need to wear your nighties to the grocery store?  I suppose they are OK enough, and I get that being comfy is a great thing, but come on.






Super tall heels - You know, I'll eat my hat if you can find one person to tell me that walking on this ridiculous thing is comfortable.  One person.  I am not saying that they don't look hot, just saying that is your hotness worth the pain?  I guess it probably is.  But not mine.


Pejazzling - Well this whole trend is actually horrifying.  If you are not aware of what pejazzling is, I will be so kind as to fill you in.  It means you put jewelry, rhinestones, etc on your penis.  I'm so confused as to what would make this even remotely appealing.   I do not want to see rubies on your family jewels, and I don't know anybody else who does either.


Any crazy weirdo trends from 2011 that I haven't mentioned?

7 comments:

  1. Wow, how did I miss out on the whole pejazzling thing?

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  2. Gives whole new meaning to family jewels, doesn't it!

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  3. i let my daughter have a hair feather too. it was cute, but definitely not something grown women need to participate in.
    i've heard of vajazzling, but not pejazzling. eek!

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  4. I'm with you, pejazzling (along with vajazzling) need to stay in 2011.....so cheesy! Loved this post - so funny!

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  5. They just announced that they are nearly sold out of tickets for Blissdom. Better get yours now if you're coming. :) http://www.blissdomconference.com/register-2012/

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  6. I will never give up my riding boots, and you can't make me. Also, those stillettos are there to make your calves look insanely hot. Thats why we torture ourselves. p.s "I like you feathuws, mom."

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  7. Before I go looking for the one person who finds super-high heels comfortable, I need to know what sort of hat you propose to eat. I'm not going to play Diogenes for nothing.

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