2 great conversation enders. kid edition.

As a veteran Mom of 22 years (omg. whoa.), I have acquired a few simple go-to phrases that generally cover almost everything - I find that using either of them makes it kind of hard for my kids to talk back to me or have a fresh remark in response.

The first, and most often used is : "I'm sorry you feel that way."

This works especially well in instances where you're trying to keep your child from having a melt-down in the now. 

Here are a few examples of various goings-on in our house where that phrase is applicable:

Alex: "Mom -- I am going to ride my bike up to Tom's Ice Cream!" (4.5 miles away, on a heavily trafficked highway)

Me: "Oh no you're not."

Alex: "Why??!  Chris' Mom said he could go!"

Me: "Because it's a highway, and you are a kid and it's dangerous even for people that don't ride downhill no-handed while standing up on the pedals."

Alex: "That's not fair!!"

Me: "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Then there's not much else for him to say, is there?  Maybe he can throw in one more emphatic "That's not fair!" for good measure, but really - there is nothing left to say.


Megan: "Can blahblah sleep over tonight?"

Me: "Not tonight. You know I can't stand sleepovers."

Meg: "Gracie's mom always lets her have sleepovers!  You never let me have sleepovers!"

Me: "It's no secret that sleepovers are not my favorite Megan."

Meg: "That's not fair!"

Me: "I'm sorry you feel that way."

stompstompstomp.  You get the picture.  Really, it's kind of a conversation ender.  You are empathizing with their distress, without giving in.  You don't engage in an argument.  Again, you might get a random, "That's not fair!"   But for the most part, it works.  

The second most often used phrase/comment from me is: "Interesting."  It sounds simple, but in many instances, it can completely halt a rapidly deteriorating conversation that doesn't need to be addressed right then and there.

Alex: "Next year, I don't care if you say no, I am going on the overnight field trip to Boston!"

Me: "Hmmm.  Well that's Interesting."

There you have it.  What could his response to that possibly be?  Once again, you respond calmly, you don't engage, and you end the conversation without a tiff.  I often choose this kind of response when there is plenty of time to wait before you need to go down that road anyway. However, it still works in the moment. 

Brooke: "I don't want to take a shower tonight because nobody takes a shower and I'm hungry and I took one yesterday!"

Me: "Interesting. Get your buns in the shower."

or,

Meg: "I can't wait til next summer when I can jump off the bridge!"  (into a lake nearby)

Me:  "Hmmm.  Interesting."

See?  I am not saying "No way, José - you will not be jumping off of that bridge in your lifetime,"  because really, what's the point in even going there when she could potentially forget all about that desire by next summer?

There you have it.  Give them a try and let me know how it works out for you.