and a rose for YOU, and a rose for YOU...

Writing prompt from MamaKat:


On the Bachelor, a rose is given to the women the (Bachelor) could really see himself spending the rest of his life with. What six things in your life would you like to give a rose to and why?


I'll start with the typical rose ceremony speech... 


Welcome.  I just want to say that you are an amazing group of things, and I'm grateful that you are all here to embarrass yourselves on national blog with me.  I am ready for my second chance at love, and being here, in front of all of you amazing things, really is the chance of a lifetime for me.  This is the hardest rose ceremony yet, because at this point, I've really bonded with so many things...  just, thank you all for being here, for believing in me and this process.  I'd like to think that my one truly favorite thing is in this room with me right now.

And you know, even though Mamakat didn't mention it, I believe that I get to give out a first impression rose.  Because I believe in first impressions.  I'd like to give the first impression rose to books.  Yes, books.  With actual pages. That you actually read.  It just seems like we've known each other forever, we seem so at ease with each other.  I really want to spend more time with books, get to know them better.

With that being said, I would like to give the real first rose to my laptop.  All that I can say is that from the first moment that I laid eyes on it as it slid out of the box, all silvery in the moonlight, it completed me.

I would also like to give a rose to my iPhone.  It also completes me.  In fact, it completes me even more than my macbook and I probably should have given it the first rose.  Maybe I should have thought this through a little better.


Eh hem.

Anyway, I would definitely like to give the next rose to Scramble - a words with friends game.  I can really see myself with this game long term...  

Would you accept this rose, California Roll?  I just want to eat you up, like every day!  I'm finding that I can't stop thinking about you, dreaming about dousing you with soy sauce and rolling you and... wait, let's slow down here.  I might need a reverse-fluffer.  Anyway, I am totally falling for you.

Please accept this rose, Burt's Bees Lip Balm.  You slick little bit of heaven.  I'm totally falling for you.  Wait, I already used that predictable line with California Roll.  Starting over, I just can't imagine a life without you, like, ever.

And finally, in one of the most shocking moments in (thing loving) history, I would like to give my final rose to my iTunes library of great music.  Gone are the days of mix tapes and CDs... replaced only by iTunes - who would have thought things would have evolved so much between us since we began this journey?


Now, anything that didn't get a rose can have a moment to say goodbye.  I'm sending them away inwardly cursing me while telling me they want nothing but the best for me, really, even though I just made out with each of them before the rose ceremony, when they were "stealing me away" for some "alone time."   


Be sure to tune in next time, where I will slo-mo run towards my favorite things on a green grassy hilltop, like we just can't contain ourselves and walk up to each other like normal people/things would do.  Just wait til those amazing things will oh so awkwardly fling themselves into my arms, much like an embarrassingly uncomfortable scene from a really bad romcom starring Jennifer Anniston.  It's going to be out of control with excitement. 


Oh my Dad, will someone save me from reality TV, please?  I think I know way too much.