Wednesday, March 28, 2012

motor boating with your eyes. oh, we know.

So I went to this doctor appointment a few weeks ago.

You know how as a girl, you can totally tell if someone is motor boating you with their eyes?  Well I think I was doing that.  Sort of.   But it wasn't my fault!  I had no control over it.

See, the doctor walked in, and I was seated in such a way that I was face to face with his crotch.  Like, he's a tall doctor, and until he actually sat down across from me, I was completely staring him in the pants.  And really, I felt very uncomfortable.  Because guess what?  He had a dribble right there on his pants.  Very noticeable and very inappropriately placed, I might add.



Ugh.  It's like when someone has food in their teeth or a massive mole on their face, and that is all you can focus on.


So all the while, I was sitting there making a concentrated effort to not look at his crotch, and it felt so obvious.  He was talk, talk, talking himself up, and I was barely hearing a word he said because I was so busy thinking about how obvious I must have looked.


Fairly recently, I made the revelation to Alex that women absolutely know when you are checking out their boobs and not their face, and he was shocked.  Shocked.  Then we did a little play-acting so I could prove it to him, because he didn't believe me.  I was all like, "What are you, a moron?  Your eyes are totally focused directly on my chest!"


So now he's mortified, because there are just far too many women with boobs to ogle in his work environment, and here he thought he was doing the ogling all discreetly.  Thank Cod he has me to look out for him.

5 comments:

  1. you were staring him right in the pants! lol! i have that problem at church sometimes. the stage is at just such a height and the pants at just such tightness that it's sometimes hard to look elsewhere. thankfully i'm not close enough to investigate any possible dribbles.
    you made me laugh. =)

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  2. You are a riot! Hahahahahahaha! I would have done the same thing! And yes, your husband is quite the lucky man. :)

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  3. I don't recall any dribbles but I have definitely been eye to crotch on a few occasions! It's VERY uncomfortable!

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  4. Ah yes, the random dribble. I hate it when that happens, especially cuz chicks are staring at my crotch all the time! :)

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  5. Hahaha! This is great. I hate it when your eye-level with man-crotch. It always happens on the airplane when you're in your seat and other people are still boarding. Someone wants to put their bag in the bin right over your seat, and if you're in the aisle seat, you get crotch (or ass) in the face. Not awesome. Thanks for the laugh!

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