mean girls

My (10 year old) daughter was all upset yesterday after school.


Apparently, (at least) one of her good friends has been teasing her about her weight.  Making digs at her that she eats too much, is lazy, doesn't exercise enough.  And I was seething inside when she was telling me this.  Seething.  Because, really?  Really??

Fat?

She is ten.  


Personally, I feel like it is never too early to have a healthy attitude about exercise and smart food options. I always encourage that stuff, because I sure know that at a certain point, it becomes way more difficult to maintain a healthy weight.  


I keep using the word healthy. Because that's what it all boils down to for me.  Being overweight for the most part is unhealthy - it makes your body have to work much harder, it lends itself to all sorts of health-related problems.  It just does, unfortunately. 

Megan does get tons of exercise - that girl rides her bike like a champion, swims her head off, jumps on the trampoline, runs around outside, etc.  I'm the only (mean) mom in the entire neighborhood that actually makes my kids walk home from school every day - because I believe walking is great exercise. I am hugely opposed to kids sitting around watching TV when it is nice enough to play outside.  My most often used phrase to my kids is, "go outside and play!"  Megan has always had a great, healthy appetite.  Of course she enjoys snacks - but she also loves fruit and veggies, is willing to try anything, and always cleans her plate. I keep very little "crap" food around the house, because I have no willpower. If there is a bag of chips or a thing of cookies in my cabinet, I will eat them. So I don't buy them. I also don't buy soda.  We drink water and milk here, sometimes sugar free iced tea.  The ice cream I buy is sugar free. I make a huge effort to provide healthy things.


Anyway, she is a little girl.  I don't believe she should have to have worries about body image at this age!  She shouldn't have many worries at all at this age.  And frankly, I can't even imagine that in fifth grade, girls are already so mean!  I thought we had a few years before the "mean girl" stage started.  I think she should be able to focus on playing and being a kid for as long as possible.  And for what it is worth, she is not overweight.   She falls on the charts pretty much exactly in the middle, average.  Unfortunately for her, the majority of her closest friends are just naturally skinny.  Like, flat and straight.  My niece Brenna (who is her age and her best friend) is a gymnast.  Her body is solid.  She is basically a tiny little muscle - just like a little rock, six pack and all.  A few of the other good friends have tall, trim parents.  They are little beanpoles.  A couple of the other girls she is good friends with are huge athletes.  They are trim and muscular.  Standing beside them, I can see where they would notice a difference.


I try to tell her all of the time that everyone is different. But this year, I've noticed her standing in the mirror more, checking out her side view, sucking in her belly, and it makes me so sad!  Sad and mad, actually.


How do I get her to see that she is perfect as she is?  That being shorter, less flat-bellied and straight is OK, that she doesn't need to compare herself to other kids.  How do I get her to hear my voice over the mean girls voices?