Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Not exactly part 2. Instead, all over the damn place. Roll with it.

I was going to finish up with a play by play account of my little jaunt to the West (still not sure if I should be capitalizing the W here.  Someone help me.) coast.  Wait!  Just wait a second here.  Let's just delve into the rules of English for a moment.  I was trying to not make this a long, boring post but damn, here we go again... 


Why do I feel the need to capitalize the W in west but not the C in coast?  One would wonder how my brain works.  I claim to be a lover of words, and I can't grasp this simple little thing of capitalization.  And just in case you were wondering, I can't type the word capitalization without having spellcheck automatically fix it for me.  Every. Damn. Time.  Oh don't be so high and mighty!  You try to spell it fast and correctly without spellcheck!  


So I know I have literally tens of readers every day who would love to help me with this issue that plagues me like, well, the fucking plague.  For the love of Cod and all of the Baby Cheeses, what is the rule?! (See how I did that?  I capitalized Cod and Baby Cheeses.  I know how to capitalize proper nouns, yes I do!)


OK, phew.  Now that I know I will have someone help me, I feel much better and I can wipe the sweat from my brow.  I can't wait to know the rule you guys.


Oh shut up, I know I am a word nerd.  


Sorry, that was rude.  I've been very fresh today, haven't I?  Sorry.  We don't say shut up in this house.  My kids think the "S" word is shut up.  I think telling someone to shut up is pretty rude, so we've always considered "shut up" a bad word(s).  We say please be quiet.  Even if it is screamed PLEASE BE QUIET at the top of one's lungs like a lunatic, it sounds much nicer and more polite than shut up, don't you think?


Want to hear some other weird bad words in our house?  Besides the normal bad words that everyone already knows I mean.


Pee.  I blame my mom for this because we weren't allowed to say it growing up.  Oh my Cod I am my mom! (If you're reading this mom, that wasn't exactly an insult.  It was more like an exclamatory revelation!)  Anyway, I know pee is very acceptable in every other house in the universe.  You might wonder what the replacement word is, and I will tell you.  It is "wet."  You can bet your ass that people look at my husband funny when he says, "Be right back guys, I have to wet," to his co-workers.  I told him maybe he should say "Take a wetter," to sound a little more socially acceptable.  I think it works.


I know my son sneakily says pee.  I've heard him on several occasions. *sigh* There's only so much a parent can do these days...  


Also they think the "F" word is fart.  Yes, yes, I know that fart is also socially acceptable.  I just always think it sounds kind of crass.  Not that we often sit around discussing bodily functions.  And not that I am judging you for saying the "F" word.  I mean really, I say a lot of real, normal bad words, and I am totally fine with that.  I love bad words.  I love to swear.  In fact, I often sound like a truck driver when I am out of kid-range. There's just something about those words though.


When I was a little kid, I was all embarrassed that we weren't allowed to say pee or fart (Ugh I swear I am cringing writing that.  I've been conditioned.  Just like Pavlov's dogs!  But not really.).  My sisters and I thought we were all rebellious when we said those words.  We'd be like saying them all in a whispered tone so Mom wouldn't hear.  We'd be like, "Ew.  Somebody farted."  then we'd look around nervously to see if Mom heard us.


Hm.  I have to be honest here.  I'm not sure how to wrap up this post.  And I am really not sure how the topic of this post changed so dramatically.  Welcome to my brain guys.


Maybe I will wrap with this - I'm not going to write a play by play of the rest of my getaway like I said I would because I really think that it might be a little on the boring side.  Not the getaway, the getaway was not on the boring side at all.  It was on the awesome side.  But you know, it was awesome to me -- I grasp that it probably isn't awesome to you.  So I will save you the rest of the long-winded, awesomely boring details.


EXCEPT one.  I have to tell you all one detail, because it is like, the best detail ever!  And I can't not share it with you.


We saw Stiffler!!  Yes, we were face to face with Stiffler at LAX, and he had eye contact with Kara and gave her a little cutie smirk.  And he was scruffily and adorable.  That may have been one of the highlights of the LA part of the getaway.  When Kara pointed out that he was standing right in front of my face in a hushed and furious whisper with her eyes, I was all, omg!  A real live famous person!


It was very exciting.  I controlled myself though.  I acted very nonchalant, when inside I was having a mental flashback of all of the hilariously inappropriate things Stiffler says.  Kind of like when you die, you have a mental flashback of all of the highlights of your life.  So I'm definitely not the kind of person who would ever just mosey up to Stiffler and say, "Loved you in American Pie, dude."  But I did love him in American Pie, and I thought he was really funny in Role Models.  I've always been pro-Seann William Scott.  It was really cool to see him in person, like just a normal guy in an airport.


I'll also include a couple shots from the rest of the LA trip, just because.


Got Kara laughing at Killer Shrimp

The streets of Marina del Rey

Beach feet

Lunch in Santa Monica

The Santa Monica Pier

Beach

The pier




So there you go.  Officially wrapped.

4 comments:

  1. we weren't allowed to say fart either. or butt. we had to say that we passed gas out of our bottoms.
    i've sort of rebelled against that foolishness and i use all such non-swearing dirty words around my kid now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We weren't allowed to say some of those words either. But we did. What did they expect with THREE boys in the house?! Sheesh. LOL Loved your pix!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are such a funny mess! We weren't allowed to use any of those words either. In fact even "Gee," "Gosh," "Golly," and "Darn" were forbidden as rather obvious substitutes. I'll even tell you that I cringe a little when you say "Cod" just because. Not that it will make me stop reading. But you might ought to feel guilty for my sore neck. LOL!

    We had the same "shut up" rule and I perpetuated it in our family. So when my boss accused me of yelling it at some noisy college kids ... I was tempted to ask for recorded evidence! That just doesn't sound like me. Does it?

    Love your pictures, girl! Glad you had such an awesome trip!

    ReplyDelete
  4. P.S. Who the heck (another bad word) is Stiffler?

    ReplyDelete