Wednesday, November 30, 2011

nothing exciting

I've been off doing family type things for the last week or so.  Free passes for holiday weekends!  I have a bunch of stuff to write about, but I can't seem to gather my thoughts into a clear little post for some reason.

It may be because I am sick.  Wah.  I have had some sickness or another for the past few weeks.  Crappy people getting me sick... probably my little punks bringing home all sorts of gross school germs.  I hate gross school germs.  That may be one of the biggest reasons that I decided to sell my preschool.  You can practically see the germs in a preschool, let me tell you.  Little kids wiping their runny noses on things that aren't tissues.  Little germ harborers who aren't the best at wiping their buns yet are just touching toys and tables and everything.  Ugh.  And no matter how obsessive you are about cleaning things and having kids wash their hands, it will never be enough.

Ah well, my sister Jen says those things are good for our immune systems, and she's a nurse.  So she probably knows what she is talking about.  Either way it gets me all feeling skeevy.  I know I have issues.

I am that person you see who uses their sleeve to open a door at the store.  Every time I use a shopping cart I feel like my hands are grimy and I have to go use a hand wipe.   I can't help it.  I keep them in my car.

Which incidentally did come in handy this weekend.  In fact, I may have even saved the day with the props for my germ freakishness.  Yeah, I'll toot my own horn.  I was coming out of Walgreen's on Thanksgiving (don't ask), and there was a car parked next to my car.  I could see a little kid throwing up on the ground between our cars, and the mom just sort of standing there looking lost.

So I got my wipes (and a roll of paper towels.  which I also carry in my car fyi) and brought them around to the mom.  She was all grateful because she had nothing to wash him up with.  Poor little guy looked so sick and sad and he was wearing a little suit for Thanksgiving.  Aw.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I made this lemon custard pie and it was so good.  The crust was sucky for some reason, but I could have been happy just eating a bowl of that custard.  I love baking pies on Thanksgiving.  My sister Jen has this monster kitchen with a huge center island thing and there is enough room for several cooks to be comfy in the kitchen.  On the day of Thanksgiving we're all in there together, and it's just really warm and cozy.  I love that.

A huge group of us went to do this 5 mile Turkey Trot run thing on Thanksgiving morning.  It was so great.  Literally thousands of participants there, some walkers, some joggers.  Some woggers.  People of all ages, really.  I didn't run, walk, jog or wog.  I was the photographer.  Because I like to take the pictures and also because I don't particularly like the chaos of a few thousand people mashed together.  Anyway, the kid that won was really a kid.  Like 14 or something and he ran the five miles in 25 minutes and a few seconds, a five minute mile.  Crazy.  He was flying past everyone.  Some people had turkey hats on.  It never occurred to me to wear a turkey hat.  I don't think I would have worn one even if the thought occurred to me.  Also, this guy crossed the finish line and threw up right in front of my face (and the real photographer's face too). I would be willing to make a wager that his finish line crossing professional picture involves vomit coming out of his mouth.  Gross.  Anyway, with all of those people participating, the town raised thousands of dollars for their food pantry, which I think is such  a great thing.

And guess what?  I didn't run into my boyfriend Harry Connick Jr. unfortunately, even though I was in CT for five whole days.  Sheesh.  Where was he anyway?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

things that are annoying

I hate blowing my nose.  It's kind of a phobia really.  It's my worst part of being sick.  That and the crappy sleeping.  But I am used to crappy sleeping, so I guess the nose blowing trumps the lack of sleep.
Some other things that bother me in no particular order are:

-Trying on jeans.  Like why can't sizes be the same in every store.  I appreciate vanity sizes as much as the next girl, but if you are a 6 in Anne Taylor Loft, you really should be a 6 in the Gap.  Don't you think?  (I am not a size 6 in any store, thankyouverymuch.) ps: aren't vanity sizes dumb?  it's like they are lying to you about your size, and you know and they know that you know and we allknow, so what the heck is the point, anyway?  I mean, if the number in the store makes you feel happy for a minute, it's only fake happy because you know in the back of your head that in real life it's all just a big fat lie.

-Trying on bathing suits.  Shock and horror.  That is all I can say about that.

-Dressing rooms in general.  Because A) The lighting sucks, and B) Either you look like a house, or you look like a beauty queen, and it's all relative.  Obviously if you look like a house, it will be bad for business because nobody buys crap that makes them look huge, but if you look like a beauty queen in the dressing room then go home and try to rock that beauty queen look in real life, then realize that it was all FAKE and you still look like a house, well that is bad for business too. 

-Wrinkles.  What a rip off.  When you had great skin you never appreciated it and slathered up every summer so you could get a great tan, then you turn 40 and your kids ask you 50 times every day if you are mad because your forehead looks like you are mad even if you aren't.

-Cold feet, but ball-y socks.  You know the kind of socks that have gotten linty, so you try to put them on when you have cold feet but they are just more annoying than they are worth. 

-Balliness in general.  On clothes, gutter-minds.  I hate when you wash stuff and it gets all ball-y.  I can't take that.   Then it's just a total loss.  I don't have the patience to de-lint stuff.

-When it looks really nice out and you wear something accordingly.  Then you get out and it's COLD and you are unprepared.  Or vice versa.  Because being hot unprepared sucks too.

-When people make the same "funny jokes" that bug you, whenever you see them.  Like they get the same laugh at your expense with every visit.  Jokes that are more like digs.  That's shitty.  It's like they can't come up with any new material or something.

-When you do everything that needs to be done - clean up after dinner, get kids bathed and in bed and tucked and read to and then you go to happily veg out and sit on the couch and flip channels and eat your jello in peace, and someone needs water.  Or someone has to go to the bathroom one more time.  Or someone can't see and they are scared.  Or someone's battery on their headlamp died.  Or someone needs a tissue. Or someone wants you to help them put their hair in a bun. Or someone wants to show you his new armpit hair.
to be continued...

Friday, November 18, 2011

some seriously impressive content

You know, I used to write funny or interesting things that my kids would say on random scraps of paper or whatever was handy (a diaper?), and then eventually transfer them to a baby book.  But I am such a slacker Mom, I kind of quit writing in Brooke's book somewhere along the lines of age 2.  Ugh.  Don't tell anyone.  AND DON'T YOU JUDGE ME.  I had a lot going on dammit.

But here's the good news!  Every so often I scribble down funny things that Brooke (and/or the other kids) will say.  And I'm about to share a few of those gems with y'all.  Whoa.  Who the heck am I right there?  I may have actually just typed in a Southern accent.  Also, I have a ton of notes filling up my notes app, and I'm in a purging mood.  So here are some recent cute/funny things.

MEGAN: Hey Brooke, do you want to watch TV with me?

BROOKE: What?  Do you want a poop mustache?


ME:  Brooke, today is the day I am washing your Nanny (blankie).  She smells disgusting.

BROOKE:  No!  I need something to stick up my nose in case Megan poops her drawers.


BROOKE:  Mom, are those guys boyfriend and boyfriend?

ME:  Yup.  It looks like they are.

BROOKE:  Well then how do they know who gets to be the driver?


BROOKE:  Why does school have to be so early??  I'm freaking tired!


MEGAN:  Ooh, Jacob is hot! (Boo.  Edward lover here.)

BROOKE:  Because he has nice abs?  You can't just like someone for their abs Meg.  You have to like them for who they are.


BROOKE ::Stands up and shakes fists at her sister::  You stand up and fight like an ogre!


BROOKE:  Megan likes Kevin as a boyfriend!  Well I'm going to tell him she wears her underwear over her underwear.


ALEX:  Mom, what time is Dad going to be home tonight?

BROOKE:  Well, he said by dinner time, but we all know that when Dad says dinner time, he really gets home after bed time.


BROOKE:  Next year I am going to play T-ball.  And I am going to grow hair under my armpits.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

taking over the number one

You know, every time I think about updating my free kiss list I forget about Harry Connick Jr. 

I know!!  

How could I forget about that guy??  I mean, really.  I love him.  Something about an adorable guy who can play the piano... it gets me every time I tell ya.

I think I am moving him to number one on my free kiss list.  Yeah.  That just happened.

So nobody ever just like, sits around and talks about my boyfriend Harry like he is the cutie that he is.  That's fine with me.  I'm actually taking a chance putting this out there for all of the world to see -- just reminding you about how great he is could potentially make you move him to number one on your list too!  Because who wouldn't??   But honestly, keep your dirty paws off Harry you slore I'd prefer it if I was the only one who has him as their number one free kiss.  I mean, my competition is already pretty much like, the worst competition ever.  His wife was a Victoria's Secret model, and she's pretty perfect.  So yeah.  Well that sucks.

Anyway, I recently read that HCjr lives in Connecticut sort of a little bit near my sister.  I find that to be rather interesting.  Of course I am not currently plotting a way to "accidentally" run into Harry and fall on his lips.  Sheesh.

I am also making the executive decision to move Ryan Reynolds into the coveted number two spot.  Because, obviously.

Hey!  I got a new follower!  So, whoever you are, thanks.  I am glad you're here.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

whiney whine whine whine

Can I whine for a minute?

I mean, if I take a few minutes to complain am I going to send you away thinking, "what a complainer?"

Maybe I will, I don't know.  My goal isn't to have a whiney, complainy blog.  I prefer jovial.  Like Santa, only a little thinner and with no beard. hohoho!  Man though, I have a few complaints.  I apologize in advance.  Feel free to click away at your convenience.

I'm going to whine about a few unrelated random things.  I'm not cranky, just pensive.  But I just want to say, why? to somebody, and there really isn't anyone to say why? to.

So, why does Vampire Diaries have to take a few months off?  It's not fair!  You know I have an unhealthy obsession with that show... I need to see it.  I hate mid season breaks.  Or any breaks for that matter.  Now I am going to sit around and be dying for some serious Stefan loving for like, two whole months.  Elena and I are so torn between two lovers.  I will take Stefan or Damon.  Either vampire is fine with me.  Just don't make me wait two more long, lonely months.  Wah.

Why is there Christmas music before Thanksgiving?  I really love Christmas, and I actually really love Christmas music.  But do we have to give Thanksgiving the shaft every year?  I mean, let it bask in all of its tryptophan induced glory.  Thanksgiving is a righteous holiday, dude.  Isn't there any Thanksgiving music out there?  The only tune that comes to mind is the one about Farmer Ted coming to chop off the turkey's head.  Well, that's rather frightening now, isn't it?  And not very festive at all.

What the hell happened to Fall?  Is it just me or did we like, miss a whole season?  Sheesh.  I barely had time to enjoy the leaves changing colors before they all fell off.  And New York is supposed to be known for its gorgeous fall colors.  I hardly even saw them and they are supposed to be in my very own back yard!

Why can't I have a chef?  Seriously.  If I won the lottery, I would hire a chef.  And I would make him wear a tall chef hat and cook me breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And snacks.  I mean, I like cooking enough, at my convenience. I guess I just don't like the pressure of it all.  Every damn day.  Like, you have to provide your people with a meal.  Or three.  What ever happened to a lovely bowl of Lucky Charms for dinner?  Every day at some point you are going to get that phone call with the old, "So what's for dinner?" question, and every day you're going to wish you had a chef to take all of that choice making out of the equation for you.

Why do Christmas cookies have to be so m.effing fattening?  I want to start making Christmas cookies, like, right this second.  But I know if I do I will eat them.  And then I will be the size of a low six-figure camper by the time Christmas rolls around.  I want to enjoy food!!  I love food!  Why does every thing good have to be bad?  Dammit!

Why do I feel so unprepared for Christmas?  I think it goes back to the old mysteriously lost fall season that I mentioned up above.  All of a sudden Christmas is in like 38 days and I barely have a start.  I will definitely be hitting the stores for Black Friday, and I will definitely be hitting the computer for Cyber Monday, but usually those things are more for the fun of it than the actual shopping.  And guess what??  Apparently a bunch of stores are opening at midnight for Black Friday!!  Can you believe that crap?!  I planned on being snoring in bed with a belly full of turkey at that time!  Now I have to rethink my entire plan.  Double damn.

Well.  Should I go on?  I could go on.  Maybe I will stop now and save some more complaints for another day.  That would be best, right?

Or I could just quickly add: Why do boys shoes stink up the entire mudroom?  And why can't those same boys put their wet towels in the laundry room? Why do people leave their dirty socks on the floor by the couch, every single night?  Why do I have man hands?  And why can't I ever remember my ring size?  Why don't I have a fireplace?  Why do I love coffee so much?  Why doesn't blogger recognize "wah" as a word? Why does my back hurt every single morning when I wake up?  Why can't I just skip the gym?  Why do kids whine? And why do they seem to prefer to live in messy pigpen rooms all the livelong day?  And finally, why does liverwurst have to have so many freaking calories in it?  I am dying for a good old fashioned liverwurst and cheese sandwich right now.  With spicy mustard and mayo please.  And for the love of Cod, could you put it on white please, just this once?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

night out

You haven't been called a shitfuck til you've been called a shitfuck by a Spanish speaking Turk faking an Indian accent.  In his defense, the accent was spot on.  And the insult was well deserved.

Anyway, I didn't get called a shitfuck in a fake Indian accent, Alex did.  And it was because he was being a crappy DJ.

The other night, we went to dinner with a few other couples, there were 8 of us.  I always drive because (a) I have the totally slammin' mini van (yo!) that happens to come in handy when you need to transport 8 adults, and (b) because I don't usually drink much.  And they all do.  Like the freaking lushes that they are.  I must admit though, that when I picked those guys up, I rolled up with a double bottle of Pinot and a stack of red cups.  You know, the plastic frat party kind.  I provide my group with the necessities.  No wonder they request me as a driver.

So we went to dinner.  The food was awesome if not a little heavy on the garlic.  I like garlic as much as the next guy, but if I can't finish my salad because there is so much garlic in the dressing... maybe they need to lighten up a snitch.  Maybe it was an off night because usually I love their dressing.  Anyway, I started with my all time favorite tzatziki, then got a flat iron steak with blue cheese on top, smashed potatoes and asparagus.  That right there is a Cod damn meal my friends.

Ty was so pissed because he didn't get the smashed potatoes.  I got the last order. oh hoho.  Ya snooze, ya lose T-bone!  If he hadn't been so busy pouring his eleventh glass of wine, he may have beaten me to it.  So then he harassed the waiter over it.  We were definitely the loud table.  We pretty much always are.  Interestingly enough, we were the last ones there - we actually closed the place.  We literally were so annoying to the other patrons that they got up and left, apparently.  But we do tip good, so there's that.

There was a lot of inappropriate chatter at the table, as always.  Somehow it always comes back to sex and various sex acts.  Why is that do you think?  I think it's a guy thing.  I think maybe we need to revisit the fact that guys are pigs in another post.

So we were driving home and Alex was trying to DJ and he kept turning all of the good tunes!  Which is exactly why he got called a shitfuck in an Indian accent.  I concurred, as did everyone else.  I tried to smack him while driving so I could DJ, but he won.  Eventually we were rocking out to Copacabana.  Then a little Piano Man, some Pink Floyd, Queen, a bit of Journey. We wrapped up in this decade with little Nicki Minaj and some Jay Z.

You know, there is nothing cool about rolling up in a mini van next to some teenagers with eight old people singing Copacabana at the top of their lungs. That was so uncalled for.  Pretty sure there isn't much there that can be considered "with it."  We definitely deserved to get mocked.  

Anyway, one of the coolest things during the night was that Junait (the Spanish speaking Turk with the fake Indian accent) brought out his iPhone 4S.  So awesome, let me tell you.  You can ask that thing anything and it will answer!  He said, "I don't have a date," to his smart phone,  and that thing answered immediately with, "There are three escort services in your vicinity."  First of all, what?  There are escort services in my vicinity?  And second, how cool!  It was really awesome.  It made me feel like I need one.  I need a little robot-like voice telling me where the nearest escort services are.  I mean where the best Thai restaurants are.

It was a great night.  When we got to Ali's, Tyrone drunkenly sang Aerosmith at the top of his lungs in the driveway for ten minutes straight and woke up all of the neighbor kids.  Now if that isn't a success, I don't know what is.

Monday, November 14, 2011

oh no you didn't

Last week, I used one of Mama Kat's writing prompt's, 22 Things That I Have Never Done, and this week I am going to go ahead and do the prompt 22 Things That I have Done.  Just to keep things interesting around here.  Next week I am going to follow the prompt that tells me to pick one of these things that I have done and expand on it.  If there is anything in particular you want to hear more about, let me know in a comment, and I will see if I can bring myself to tell you all about it.

Anyway, go ahead now:

22 Things That I Have Done

passed out
been waterskiing
had a few surgeries
shot a gun
owned a new car

hit a deer
smoked pot
been to a same sex wedding
canoed down the Rio
hitch hiked

thrown up from drinking too much
seen a dead person
spent the night in my car
owned a business
had my heart broken, hard

seen a shooting star
driven a car over 100 mph
eaten a snail
seen a baby being born (that wasn't my own)
cried myself to sleep

been to a Bat Mitzvah
had stitches

Friday, November 11, 2011


Friday five minute brain purge:

eleveneleveneleven.  Pretty cool.  Maybe I will try to time this post so it posts on 11:11.  Then I will have to take 60 seconds to make the best wish ever.  I have a few great wishes that I would love to come true - some that I know are basically impossible.  I hate impossible.  I like when things are easy, smooth.  Who doesn't?  Complications make me all tight inside, make me almost obsess over figuring out how to set things right.  What I think should be right, I guess.  Some people I know thrive on complications, drama.  I don't know how someone could really live like that, always waiting for the next crazy thing to happen.  I don't need everything to be predictable, but I like knowing what to expect most of the time.  I hate guessing.  I hate feeling like I don't know what someone is thinking, feeling.  I think that is why I am kind of quiet.  A lot of times, I am really looking hard at people, trying to figure them out, trying to understand what makes them be a certain way.  I wish people were more honest, more straight.  Just let go and be real.  I feel less anxious than I have in years.  My brain feels less tight, I feel more relaxed.  Some things that were missing don't feel so much like they are missing anymore.  I don't want it to change.  I just like feeling happy.  It's good I think...

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Well I never!

Mama Kat had a writing prompt a few weeks ago suggesting listing 22 things that you've never done before.  You know I often resort to lists when I am feeling particularly boring and like I have nothing great to say.  So today is the day guys.  Me = boring and uninspired.  You = so lucky to be here.

22 Things I Have Never Done

gone out of the country (except to Mexico)
been punched
gone bungee jumping
been in jail
had braces

been on a cruise
been in a hot spring
been bitten by a dog.  or horse.  or coyote.
gone sky diving
ridden a unicycle (I've tried though!)

been to a casino
ridden in a helicopter
been in a serious car accident
broken a bone
run a mile without stopping

eaten an entire thing of ice cream
gone cliff diving
eaten a tequila worm
tried snowboarding
held a monkey

gone on a zip line
been to a pro football game

So there you have it.  There are a lot of things that I have never done.  Not all of them would I like to have done.  Like I really have no desire to go bungee jumping.  Or eating the Tequila worm.  Or getting bitten or punched.  Or breaking a bone for that matter.

So go ahead and make one of your own lists if you aren't sure what you feel like writing about today.  But then make sure you leave me a comment to tell me where your list is so I can go see what YOU haven't done. 

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

well. that's what you get.

So we went to the movies the other night.  It was a pretty stupid movie, stupid enough for me to actually have forgotten the name apparently.

The movie-going experience started great.  My husband had offered to take Alex, two girl friends and one guy friend to the movies.  Kind of like a double date.  Where we live, the movie theater is not right around the corner, so if kids want to catch a movie, they need to catch a ride.  Anyway, I thought it was really nice of him to offer, because he works up near where the theater is, so that meant he'd have to come home to get us after work, and then turn around and go right back up.  Plus I was thinking it would be nice because we hardly ever go to the movies together.

So I got our favorite sitter Alyssa.  She is awesome.  The girls love her and she drives herself.  Which means if we are ever out and stumble home tipsy (because we do that all of the time), we don't have to worry about getting her home. 

Anyway, the part that got sucky was the part where Alex was really late and neglected to call or text me to let me know.  Well, I am 98.6% positive that somehow a person can manage the 30 seconds it would take just to send an, "I'm running late" text so the other people counting on you aren't like, sitting around waiting like a bunch of dumbasses or late themselves.  One of my absolute worst things is when people lack common courtesy.  Just two seconds for a heads up!  That's all I ask!

Anyway, Alex and I don't fight much, and I wasn't going to start something over that, but I wasn't going to wait around and make my son and his friends late to the movie.  So I left without him and drove them up.  That might sounds mean, but he wasn't just five minutes late, he was thirty five minutes late.  Inwardly I was cranky because a) the rude lateness with no heads up, and then b) I like to listen to my music in the car but my son isn't a huge fan of most of it, plus he asked me not to talk (and said no offense mom, I just don't want you to embarrass me) so c) I couldn't talk or listen to music for the 35 minute drive.  Then d) I have an issue with my eyes so driving at night isn't my favorite, and driving at night with tons of bright flashing roadwork in my eyes with no music to relax me sucked.  And last but certainly not least, e) Alex called me eleven hundred times to firm up the fact that I wasn't mad at him and he didn't do it on purpose.  Which got a little annoying.

So finally, I made it to the theater and dropped the kids off.  Then I turned on my music nice and loud while I drove around looking for parking.  Alex and I met up and pretty much settled on the only movie that was playing around the same time as the movie the kids were seeing.  Then because we were a little late, dinner ended up being food court pizza.  I like pizza, and I admit this particular pizza was good, but originally we were going to go to the Cheesecake Factory.  So you can see why food court pizza didn't exactly measure up. 

We wrapped up kind of quick then headed up to the movie.  We were close to when it started, so Alex got on line for popcorn, and I went in to get our seats.  I hate missing the previews.  Well, to add to the suckiness, there were hardly any seats left for that shitty movie.  So I ended up having to sit in the middle, which I hate.  I strongly prefer an aisle.  I had some girl on one side of me so I had to be all nice about my elbow placement.  Grr.  Unfortunately, Alex was seated next to a guy that smelled like he spent the night in a dutch oven.

He had to inwardly plug his nose for pretty much the entire bad movie.  I actually thought it was karmic and  got several chuckles at his expense just watching him be grossed out about it.  

Monday, November 7, 2011

deal breakers part uno

Way back when I was single and (maybe) ready to mingle I had all of these ideas on what I would and would not accept in a guy, like as far as dating was concerned.  I pretty much think that everyone has a "type" that they are typically attracted to, but regardless of the type, there are just certain things that can't happen. Even if you fell into my particular "type" category, I was very easily bothered by seemingly simple things.

I wasn't trying to be shallow, but I just can't help that certain things immediately turn me off.  Usually once that line of turning me off is crossed, chances are slim to none that anyone will make it back over the line.

I didn't have like a written list or something that I actually referenced, but there were some definite deal breakers that rolled around in my head constantly that meant immediate shut down of potential first date, second date, or anything else.

Close talkers.  When someone that I don't know very well is way up in my mug, it kind of freaks me out.  First of all, I don't know where to look and I usually end up looking at your lips, which could look like I want to kiss you but really it's because I'm not great at holding eye contact up so close.  Too much deep eye contact weirds me out.  I don't like being looked at hard.  Also,  close talkers bring out my breath anxiety.  I have an issue with bad breath - not discriminatory, I worry about mine and someone else's.

(chronic)Bad breath.  Perfect segue, don't you think?  Incidentally, segue is such an annoying word, I only used it because I had to.  I apologize to those of you that agree with me.  It's very hard to feel like you are pronouncing it right.  So yeah, bad breath, obviously.  If we're chatting and you smell like you just ate a shit sandwich for lunch, I'm going to vomit.  Plus one can only talk while inwardly plugging their nose for so long.  If you have to worry about plugging your nose for the duration of an average relationship, that's just not a good thing.  And really, how hard is it to keep breath mints or gum on you in case you eat an onion or garlic or something?!

Low talkers.  I have actually been accused of being a low talker.  In my defense, I usually am only a low talker in uncomfortable situations or when I am particularly nervous.  So who am I to judge?  I have no idea, but I just can't handle having to say wha?  twenty times and/or nod and smile and pretend I heard what the person just said all night.  Who knows what I am nodding and smiling to??  You could have just confessed to me that you're a weirdo stalker who lives with your dead stuffed cat and eats toilet paper.  You have to admit, that could get dangerous. 

Loud talkers.  Huh.  What is it with me and the way people talk?  I have no idea, I just have never been attracted to the life of the party, the loud guy making jokes at other people's expense.  Loud people make me nervous.   I am actually more like a backward magnet to loud people.  But hey, if we are at the DMB concert, wall to wall people and it's just mass happy music chaos, you get a free pass.  There are times and places for loud (and/or close) talkers people.  Learn them.

People who make offensive grammatical errors.  I guess I sound mean and judgey.  I'm not trying to be!  But it so goes against my grain when someone talks stupid.  I am not going to sit there and correct you, but inwardly I am thinking, come on guy, you should know this!  This is simple English here.  If you made it past eighth grade you should pretty much have this down!  I have to add people who talk "gangster," or like if you're born and raised Brooklyn but you talk like you have a snooty British accent.  Fake people just irritate me.

Snuffley spitters.  Look, I get the fact that everyone needs to spit now and again, but really?  You honestly think snuffling and spitting gunk all over the sidewalk is kinda cute?  Yeah. No.

People who use hankies.  I am sorry.  I get that blowing your nose has to happen occasionally.  I hate nose blowing personally, but I hate sniffling too, so it's always a dilemma.  But my Cod.  Please, please don't use a hankie!!  Think about all of those disgusting snot germs just multiplying in your pocket as each second ticks by!!  UGH.   I think I just threw up in my mouth and I am not even kidding.

People who try to be all trendy.  Like really, I so appreciate an individual.  If everyone else is wearing parachute pants, but they aren't your thing, I'll totally respect you if you just wear those soft, broken in jeans that you love.  And really, not too many people can rock the parachute pants anyway, so don't sweat it.  Just wear the soft jeans, man.

People who are preachy.  I appreciate your right to voice your opinion very much, but if I don't share it,  please don't try to cram your beliefs down my throat.  I will listen to your opinion, but it's pretty doubtful that you will sway mine.  Pushing me on issues just ticks me off.

People who make fun of other people.  I'm fun. I like a little harmless chuckle at someone's expense like the next guy, but not in a mean spirited way.  Like if someone is walking by with toilet paper stuck to their shoe - that's kinda funny and worth a giggle.  We all know it.  But making fun of someone for things they have no control over is just so not OK.  It's cruel.  Major deal breaker.

Well go figure, this list has gotten kinda long and I haven't even scratched the surface.  What can I say??  I am particular!  Don't judge!  I will definitely have to do a part two in the near future.  Thank Cod I am not like, in the dating world, right?!

Friday, November 4, 2011

5 minute purge

Friday's five minute brain purge, coming right up...

It's 1:19 in the afternoon and I am on the big comfy chair in my living room.  It's really quiet here and I am thinking about maybe putting on some good music.  I've been listening to a lot of covers lately of old songs that I like and I've found some pretty great ones.  I am also on a Trevor Hall kick at the moment, so I might just listen to him and be perfectly content.  But I don't mind the quiet, with no sounds except the click of the keyboard, maybe the sound of a muffled car outside somewhere, just the peaceful hum of the world.  That is what I like to hear most.  I'm in a bad mood.  I'm a pretty easy going person I think, in general.  I try to be kind, friendly, thoughtful.  I don't usually give people reason to be upset with me.  I don't like feeling like someone hasn't afforded me the same courtesy.  It mostly boils down to caring about other people's feelings.  Like sometimes, you should ask yourself, how is this going to affect someone that is supposed to matter to me?  Except, I think that's the problem though.  Sometimes you're just not even on the radar that you think you should be on.  Sometimes, someone that you think might care about your feelings just doesn't.  And wow, it's a surprise that kind of hurts a bit.  Ah, whatever.  I'll get over it.  I had such a great breakfast after the gym today.  Don't you just love a satisfying meal?  While eating, my sister Jen called and we chatted for a while, which is great because we don't get to hang out much.  I'm really glad that she called. Life can be so busy and hectic and all of a sudden it occurs to you that it's been a few weeks and you haven't heard the voice of someone that you love!  

Time's up...
Happy weekend!


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

halloween hangover

So man, I feel all tired and sluggish.  Way too much sugar flowing through these veins from the past few days.

Nov 1 was my last candy day, and ugh.  I was positive that when I woke up yesterday I wasn't going to eat anymore freaking Halloween candy.  Then I had a Baby Ruth for breakfast, with a Snickers chaser.  And at some point I had Milk Duds, which I don't even like.

That is exactly why I don't keep candy in the house.  If it is here, I will more than likely just go ahead and eat it.  Just because.

I have exactly no will power.  I have less than no will power even.

What I'd really like to do is toss all of the candy, but something in me just won't do it.  It's a combination of "the kids should be able to eat their Halloween candy without fear of it being suddenly gone," and  "it would be a crime to throw away perfectly good candy."  So really, I am making the kids hide their candy from me.  Just for a week or so, then I really am tossing whatever is left because they don't need to be eating candy til Christmas.  Which is pretty much how long they would be eating it considering they have enough candy to fill a kiddie pool between the three of them.

So, today, it was back to the gym.  Candy nowhere in sight.  Back to eating like a good eater.  Boring.  But good.  I need to save any and all extra calorie intake for Thanksgiving.  Because really, Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite food time of the year.  I love Thanksgiving dinner and Thanksgiving dinner leftovers and I refuse to not eat everything that I want to eat.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

monday monday

Well, Halloween went off without a hitch.  

Our kids had a half day at school, and after Brooke's  Halloween parade the students were released.  It was kind of nice to have them out early because then we didn't have to rush around on a school night, trying to get everyone ready for the big night.

The down side to the early dismissal is that they were dying to get out and go, like, immediately after lunch, but of course it was only early afternoon.  So I had to hold them off for a bit.

Somehow, our house seems to always be the meeting place for all of the kids, which actually makes me very happy.  Alex and a bunch of his pals left with their big pillowcases, hoping to fill them by hitting as many houses in our town as they could, even though I don't even think any of them were costumed up.  

Then Megan, my niece Brenna and a few of their friends were meeting up at our house to go trick or treating together.  They were all so cute and excited, bouncing around.  Brooke was a witch.  Black and purple.  She was all into having purple hair and black lipstick.  She actually went to school with purple hair and couldn't have been happier.  But the big girls kind of left her in the dust most of the night, which made me feel a little sad.

Ali and Ty and our friend Raina came over and we went out together.  We ended up meeting up with a bunch of my friends along the way, and it was fun to see everyone.  It wasn't nearly as cold and uncomfortable as I was expecting, a little brisk but it felt great to me.

So the night ended at my dad's house, where we have pizza and wind down.  It was almost bedtime by the time we got home and weeded through the loot, and those dirty little rug rats needed to get their teeth scrubbed, get showered and snuggled up in their PJ's.  They slept so hard, all exhausted from the day.

Funny they are already tossing around ideas for what to dress up as next year.