night out

You haven't been called a shitfuck til you've been called a shitfuck by a Spanish speaking Turk faking an Indian accent.  In his defense, the accent was spot on.  And the insult was well deserved.


Anyway, I didn't get called a shitfuck in a fake Indian accent, Alex did.  And it was because he was being a crappy DJ.


The other night, we went to dinner with a few other couples, there were 8 of us.  I always drive because (a) I have the totally slammin' mini van (yo!) that happens to come in handy when you need to transport 8 adults, and (b) because I don't usually drink much.  And they all do.  Like the freaking lushes that they are.  I must admit though, that when I picked those guys up, I rolled up with a double bottle of Pinot and a stack of red cups.  You know, the plastic frat party kind.  I provide my group with the necessities.  No wonder they request me as a driver.


So we went to dinner.  The food was awesome if not a little heavy on the garlic.  I like garlic as much as the next guy, but if I can't finish my salad because there is so much garlic in the dressing... maybe they need to lighten up a snitch.  Maybe it was an off night because usually I love their dressing.  Anyway, I started with my all time favorite tzatziki, then got a flat iron steak with blue cheese on top, smashed potatoes and asparagus.  That right there is a Cod damn meal my friends.


Ty was so pissed because he didn't get the smashed potatoes.  I got the last order. oh hoho.  Ya snooze, ya lose T-bone!  If he hadn't been so busy pouring his eleventh glass of wine, he may have beaten me to it.  So then he harassed the waiter over it.  We were definitely the loud table.  We pretty much always are.  Interestingly enough, we were the last ones there - we actually closed the place.  We literally were so annoying to the other patrons that they got up and left, apparently.  But we do tip good, so there's that.


There was a lot of inappropriate chatter at the table, as always.  Somehow it always comes back to sex and various sex acts.  Why is that do you think?  I think it's a guy thing.  I think maybe we need to revisit the fact that guys are pigs in another post.


So we were driving home and Alex was trying to DJ and he kept turning all of the good tunes!  Which is exactly why he got called a shitfuck in an Indian accent.  I concurred, as did everyone else.  I tried to smack him while driving so I could DJ, but he won.  Eventually we were rocking out to Copacabana.  Then a little Piano Man, some Pink Floyd, Queen, a bit of Journey. We wrapped up in this decade with little Nicki Minaj and some Jay Z.


You know, there is nothing cool about rolling up in a mini van next to some teenagers with eight old people singing Copacabana at the top of their lungs. That was so uncalled for.  Pretty sure there isn't much there that can be considered "with it."  We definitely deserved to get mocked.  


Anyway, one of the coolest things during the night was that Junait (the Spanish speaking Turk with the fake Indian accent) brought out his iPhone 4S.  So awesome, let me tell you.  You can ask that thing anything and it will answer!  He said, "I don't have a date," to his smart phone,  and that thing answered immediately with, "There are three escort services in your vicinity."  First of all, what?  There are escort services in my vicinity?  And second, how cool!  It was really awesome.  It made me feel like I need one.  I need a little robot-like voice telling me where the nearest escort services are.  I mean where the best Thai restaurants are.


It was a great night.  When we got to Ali's, Tyrone drunkenly sang Aerosmith at the top of his lungs in the driveway for ten minutes straight and woke up all of the neighbor kids.  Now if that isn't a success, I don't know what is.