whiney whine whine whine

Can I whine for a minute?

I mean, if I take a few minutes to complain am I going to send you away thinking, "what a complainer?"

Maybe I will, I don't know.  My goal isn't to have a whiney, complainy blog.  I prefer jovial.  Like Santa, only a little thinner and with no beard. hohoho!  Man though, I have a few complaints.  I apologize in advance.  Feel free to click away at your convenience.

I'm going to whine about a few unrelated random things.  I'm not cranky, just pensive.  But I just want to say, why? to somebody, and there really isn't anyone to say why? to.

So, why does Vampire Diaries have to take a few months off?  It's not fair!  You know I have an unhealthy obsession with that show... I need to see it.  I hate mid season breaks.  Or any breaks for that matter.  Now I am going to sit around and be dying for some serious Stefan loving for like, two whole months.  Elena and I are so torn between two lovers.  I will take Stefan or Damon.  Either vampire is fine with me.  Just don't make me wait two more long, lonely months.  Wah.

Why is there Christmas music before Thanksgiving?  I really love Christmas, and I actually really love Christmas music.  But do we have to give Thanksgiving the shaft every year?  I mean, let it bask in all of its tryptophan induced glory.  Thanksgiving is a righteous holiday, dude.  Isn't there any Thanksgiving music out there?  The only tune that comes to mind is the one about Farmer Ted coming to chop off the turkey's head.  Well, that's rather frightening now, isn't it?  And not very festive at all.

What the hell happened to Fall?  Is it just me or did we like, miss a whole season?  Sheesh.  I barely had time to enjoy the leaves changing colors before they all fell off.  And New York is supposed to be known for its gorgeous fall colors.  I hardly even saw them and they are supposed to be in my very own back yard!

Why can't I have a chef?  Seriously.  If I won the lottery, I would hire a chef.  And I would make him wear a tall chef hat and cook me breakfast, lunch and dinner.  And snacks.  I mean, I like cooking enough, at my convenience. I guess I just don't like the pressure of it all.  Every damn day.  Like, you have to provide your people with a meal.  Or three.  What ever happened to a lovely bowl of Lucky Charms for dinner?  Every day at some point you are going to get that phone call with the old, "So what's for dinner?" question, and every day you're going to wish you had a chef to take all of that choice making out of the equation for you.

Why do Christmas cookies have to be so m.effing fattening?  I want to start making Christmas cookies, like, right this second.  But I know if I do I will eat them.  And then I will be the size of a low six-figure camper by the time Christmas rolls around.  I want to enjoy food!!  I love food!  Why does every thing good have to be bad?  Dammit!

Why do I feel so unprepared for Christmas?  I think it goes back to the old mysteriously lost fall season that I mentioned up above.  All of a sudden Christmas is in like 38 days and I barely have a start.  I will definitely be hitting the stores for Black Friday, and I will definitely be hitting the computer for Cyber Monday, but usually those things are more for the fun of it than the actual shopping.  And guess what??  Apparently a bunch of stores are opening at midnight for Black Friday!!  Can you believe that crap?!  I planned on being snoring in bed with a belly full of turkey at that time!  Now I have to rethink my entire plan.  Double damn.

Well.  Should I go on?  I could go on.  Maybe I will stop now and save some more complaints for another day.  That would be best, right?


Or I could just quickly add: Why do boys shoes stink up the entire mudroom?  And why can't those same boys put their wet towels in the laundry room? Why do people leave their dirty socks on the floor by the couch, every single night?  Why do I have man hands?  And why can't I ever remember my ring size?  Why don't I have a fireplace?  Why do I love coffee so much?  Why doesn't blogger recognize "wah" as a word? Why does my back hurt every single morning when I wake up?  Why can't I just skip the gym?  Why do kids whine? And why do they seem to prefer to live in messy pigpen rooms all the livelong day?  And finally, why does liverwurst have to have so many freaking calories in it?  I am dying for a good old fashioned liverwurst and cheese sandwich right now.  With spicy mustard and mayo please.  And for the love of Cod, could you put it on white please, just this once?