false advertisement?

So one of the great debates of my weekend in CT with family was something that my brother-in-law John has long claimed to be true.  He believes whole-heartedly that SPANX are false advertisement.  Also, that new Victoria's Secret "Bombshell" push up bra.

In case you live under a rock, SPANX are the devil these girdle-like underpants that can go pretty much from your armpits to your knees.  Their claim to fame is to make you look a few sizes smaller by consolidating all of your flab into one nice neat, silky smooth little bundle.  SPANX can get control over back fat, dimply legs, and a flabby belly in one fell swoop!  Forget the gym!  They definitely help if you are trying to fit into that little black dress that you wore before you had your last little munchkin though.  I have a close and personal love/hate relationship with SPANX, and we are not BFFs.

The Bombshell Bra completely makes a flat chested girl look voluptuous.  Like it seriously gives her the cleavage that she's never had and really makes her go up 1-2 bra sizes.  I saw this actually work with my own two eyes and it was mighty impressive.  Personally though, a) I would never spend that kind of money on a bra, and b) I don't exactly need the help.  My cup runneth over on its own.  (TMI?)

Think about it.  You and your girlfriends decide to go out to a bar to pick up men have a few drinks, dance the night away, hangout, you know.  That kind of thing.  But before you go, you of course pull out all of the stops in looking your best.  You cram yourself into some SPANX, coerce your smallish boobs into a Bombshell bra and you hit the town.  You look hot.

So over the course of the evening, you meet a guy, go home together and get naked to know each other.  Don't you think that once he peels back all of the layers of fake, he is going to be in for a little shocker?

Cod forbid he is a boob man - you totally just cheated!  At the bar, your healthy C cup is suddenly a nice flat A, and the guy is all like WTF?  Now I get what Victoria's Secret was!  And the smooth, fit-looking legs and belly are softish and floppy once they have been released from the nightmare of SPANX.  The poor guy has just been bamboozled into hooking up with a completely normal different girl than he thought he was hooking up with!

That's my BIL's take on it anyway.

In theory, I can see where it might be a little shocking if like, a guy wore one of those Spiderman costumes under his clothes that makes him look like he has a lot of big muscles.  And a sock in his pants to enhance his package or something.  Personally, I might be a little scared of an enhanced package and Spiderman costume and wouldn't have given that guy the time of day anyway, but some girls might be drawn to that kind of thing.  And imagine their dismay when all of the props are removed and the guy just went from Rambo to Shia Labeouf* in the space of like 34 seconds.

Come to think of it, he does make a pretty good argument.

Well.  What do you guys think?

*On a side note, I kind of prefer Shia Labeouf, although I did have to google him to get the spelling of his name right.