disclaimer: If you've never seen Anchorman (The Legend of Ron Burgundy), this exchange will most definitely be very confusing to you.
Me: Where are you? You said you were just leaving.
Husband: I am a man. Doing man things.
Me: OK Ron Burgundy, should I expect you any time soon?
Husband: Can you pick me up. I'm too old for Man Day. Those growlers were strong and I may or may not be drunk.
Me: When in Rome...
Husband: Yes, go on.
Me: If I recall correctly, Ron Burgundy walks home.
Husband: I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
Me: Why don't you try that new fad, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft j.
Husband: But I'm in a glass case of emotion!
Me: Son of a bee-sting.
Me: Fine, I'll be there in a minute. You better be ready because I am not waiting on your drunk ass.
Husband: When you get here, I'll give you two tickets to the gun show, and see if you like the goods.
Me: I'm going to punch you in the ovary.
Husband: 60% of the time, all of the time.
Me: OMG. Please stop talking before I change my mind.
Husband: Agree to disagree?
Me: You're a smelly pirate hooker.
Husband: Poop mouth! Poop in your mouth!
Me: Oh, you are going right to bed.
Husband: Take me to pleasure town?
Me: OMG. Get in the car.