tiny and insignificant

If you were having trouble accessing this blog recently, sorry.  I didn't realize it was showing up as blocked - hopefully nobody was really offended.

Anyway, I was kind of trying to figure out what to do here.  A few years ago, when I started doing this, I wasn't sure of much.  I wasn't sure if I'd be good enough, or relevant.  I wasn't sure if anyone would really care about what I put out here, if anyone would read.  I wasn't sure if I wanted anyone to read.  I wasn't even sure if I was doing it right.   

And you know, I guess I still don't know.  I'm still unsure.  One thing that I am sure of though is that my uncertainty is reflected in every post, to me.  And I hate that.

Do all bloggers feel this way at times?  Like, what's the point?  There are so many great blogs out there - so many smart, funny, talented people - I'm just a tiny, kind of insignificant drop in the ocean.  

But the thing is, I'm not sure if I want to be big and significant.  I put enough pressure on myself to write something, anything meaningful most days.  If I was like one of the big bloggers, I'm positive it would be too much for me.  I'm sort of a quitter-before-failure, by nature.  I'd be way too afraid of failing to be good enough, and quitting altogether would be a very attractive option.

Ah, sorry about my moaning and groaning.  Maybe I'm just in one of those uncharacteristic woe is me moods.  I'm not usually too moany and groany,  I'll get over it, and be more chipper tomorrow.

Hope to see you then.