Tuesday, March 5, 2013

five types of date askers plus a bonus

If you're a grown up, chances are you've been asked out on a date, or asked someone on a date at some point in your lifetime.

I have to say, I am pretty sure I've never asked anyone out.  In fact, I never even really called guys, unless they were already my boyfriend.  I was way too worried about rejection to ever put myself in the position to get shot down and embarrassed.

I was almost 40 years old when I first realized how stressful it actually can be to ask someone out.  I wasn't asking anyone out personally, I was just witnessing the event.  I got the straight up guy perspective and it was so stressful.  Guys have it so hard!  Like, it definitely seems as though girls have all of the power in the situation, and it really must be tough on guys being vulnerable and putting themselves out there.

I've come to the conclusion that there are basically 5 types of date askers.

You have the Incredibly Formal Date Asker"Miss Smith, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to our fancy pants dance?"   I picture the guy who asks a girl out like this as someone who wears a bow tie.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.   I'm not necessarily anti-bow tie.  Well, not entirely.

Then you have the Vague, Boring, Passive Date Asker: "You should come get some pizza with us later."  This guy acts like he wouldn't care either way if you wanted to go with him, which is probably his MO, in case you're all like, "Uh, no."

The Casual Date Asker: "So hey Jill, what's your schedule looking like this week? I heard Joe's Taco's has some great burritos.  Wanna grab something to eat?"  This guy is sincere, but casual enough so that if you aren't into it,  he can easily brush it off like it's no big deal.

The Sincerely Sincere Date Asker:  "Sarah, would you like to go to the prom with me?"  There is nothing wrong with a guy asking a girl out sincerely, it's actually nice.  But there is no denying that you're being asked on a date, so there is no sly way to wiggle out of it if you don't want to be this poor guy's date to the prom.

The Indirect, No Big Risk Date Asker:  "We should really get together this weekend for a hike, the weather is supposed to be great."  This guy is similar to the casual date asker, in that if you beg off, he doesn't feel dumb for putting himself out there.  He can feel you out (not up, gutter mind), see if you're into it, and kind of go from there.

and the bonus, I'm Either 12, or Funny and Ironic Date Asker:  This guy will toss you a note on loose leaf paper that says, "Do you like me?  Circle Y or N.  If yes, do you want to have lunch together?  Circle Y or N."  Oddly, I am partial to this particular kind of date asker.  Especially if the note is folded in the form of a football.

You know, so much happens online these days.  Technology has definitely changed things.  Connecting through Facebook, chatting, text messaging and email is much more common, but I can't help but think that most girls would probably appreciate getting asked out in person, or at the very least voice to voice, like they did in the olden days.  It's definitely more personal.

I think in asking someone out on a date, the key is to strike while the iron is hot - nobody will wait around forever because there are other options out there.  So if you're getting the vibe that the cute receptionist at the dentist office is kind of into you, just go for it if you think you could be a match.  There really isn't much to lose, right?

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