Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Shopping, sweater puppies, and scary rednecks, among other things...

It's freaking Wednesday already - 27 days til Christmas.  Is that shocking to anyone else but me?  Yesterday I spent far too many hours on the computer trying to find Cyber Tuesday deals, so I didn't get around to writing a post.  What?  I was a day late to the party you say?  Yeahyeah, I know.  I just couldn't get it together enough to make Cyber Monday work in my favor.

Ah, I'm not too concerned.  This past week/end, we went to  my sister's house in CT for Thanksgiving. During that time, we shopped, ate and shopped.  And then ate some more.  I couldn't even bring myself to get on the scale when I got home.  I mean, I actually even ate sweater puppies at Denny's.  I never eat sweater puppies.  And I never go to Denny's, except on Black Friday morning.  Well OK, they're not actually called sweater puppies, but they're called some kind of puppies and they taste like french toast and look like munchkins.  Munchkin-like french toast balls that you dip in syrup or frosting-ish stuff.  OMG yum.  We call them sweater puppies.  Because who wouldn't?  So yeah, I ate those things.  Among other things, for basically five days straight.

Anyway, back to the shopping.  I admit it - I was a Black Friday freak.  Except, I was more like a black Thursday Night freak because apparently that's how we do it now??  Sheesh, I couldn't even get drunk on Thanksgiving because we had to drive to Target at 9:00 pm that night.  Fine, I wouldn't have gotten drunk anyway, but the fact that I couldn't get drunk if I had a burning desire to was rather annoying.  Tyrone apparently didn't get the memo because he got drunk and had to be at Target at 9:00 too.  Which is exactly why he forgot his phone and had to aimlessly walk around hoping to run into his wife after they divided and conquered the freaking store.  I'd just like to point out that thanks to me and my awesome ability to wheel and deal with boys, Ali and Ty actually ended up with the massive TV they were trying to get.  Because I think Dave from Target liked me.  He may have winked at me.  So after the possible winking, he gave me a sneaky ticket to get the very last massive TV in the store.  Woohoo!  I definitely rock.

OK, so back to the shopping again, I really got everything I needed on my list so I felt very accomplished.  I barely even bought myself things!  Except a new pair of yoga pants, a cozy hoodie, a long-sleeved shirt and a Nerd Rope.  I really needed that Nerd Rope.  See how not selfish I am?  Seriously, I am very excited that I finished a good portion of my shopping.

Oh yeah!  I almost forgot!  Kara and I almost threw down with some scary redneck jerks from West Virginia.  No offense if you're from West Virginia.  We went to this semi-legal flea market in a very sketchy part of New Haven, and you know, we were trying to park and those scummy losers stole my parking spot!!  Like, they literally looked at my face and jammed in there as I was actually backing in to the spot.  I was like, really??!  That's how you roll on motherfucking Thanksgiving??!  Then Kara got all finger waggy and fresh to them since she is a snappy little New Yorker and I had to talk her off the ledge before we got stabbed over a parking spot.  Getting stabbed over a parking spot is not my idea of a great way to spend the holiday weekend.

So we found another parking spot.  Because I am all about keeping the peace, man.  And also they were a little bit scary.  And my sister Jenney was nowhere in sight, and she was the only one with us with a black belt in Karate.  She could have Karate chopped that girl right in her skinny dreadlocked head.  But anyway, we did great at the illegal semi-legal flea market, didn't throw down or get the car keyed.  All in all, I consider it a win.

There were more awesome moments during the five days we were there, including an impromptu solo dance routine by my husband Alex, complete with a Herkie at the end, that made me laugh until I almost peed my pants.  I'll have to tell you more about that (could potentially post a damaging video of the actual event) and some other highlights tomorrow.

See how I left you with a cliffhanger?  I'm all savvy like that...


  1. So glad you didn't get punched, stabbed, or otherwise injured in your Thanksgiving shopping. I don't do the Black shopping, regardless of when it is. I cannot handle that many crazy people in one small area.
    As for the email allowing you to comment, I have no idea what that means or what I would do to check. Don't worry. I don't feel ignored. I just feel dumb. :)

  2. Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Cheers

    Here is my web site - slimquick for women