Friday, November 9, 2012

omg, acronyms make me happy. rotfl.

I like words.  I'm a wordie.  I tend to do a lot of listening, so I often pick things apart - how certain words make you feel, how some strike you as funny or disgusting or annoying.

I think a lot of word people don't love acronyms.  Like you're tarnishing something by using them.  I'm not sure what exactly is being tarnished by abbreviating a term, but they think something is.  The dictionary?  The English language?  I think that's kind of dumb.  I love acronyms.  I think admitting that out loud may make me sound a little weird. 

Eh, I don't care, I wear my weirdness proudly.  

I have this thing though, with acronyms.  Whenever I hear them or see them, I mentally switch the words up to make them mean something else.  Like, what if when you were texting someone WTF, it didn't mean what the fuck?

It could mean all sorts of things.  Like, Where's the food?  Or Who took Fluffy?  Wash the floor, wrong turn, freak!  Wipe the front, wank the flank, where's the fish?  Wiggle toes first, wear torn flannel, warty toad feet, we're too fat!  Who's that fool?

Or the acronym for stay at home mom, you know, SAHM.  That could certainly stand for plenty of other things: 

so annoyed, hit me
special access husband material
so awesome, have meat
smile at huge mouths
slap a ho much?
strange ankles, help me
shoot a horny man
sleep angrily, he'll mope
snare a hungry mouse
smelly ass, happy monkeys
stupid annoying happy meals
simple and humble mother
she always hears moaning
snarky about hipster moms
sloppy ass hairy mess
shit ass ho motherfucker
super awesome helluva mama
stare at hippos much?
strip after he moos
slimy apples have maggots

Or, how about LOL?!  
loose old loonie
lame or lumpy
look! our laundry!
losers only limp
lunch, or linner?
lift our legs
large oompa loomp
losers often linger
leave our lunch
locate old lobsters

Oh man.  I think I better quit now.  I could do this all day.  So anyway, TTYL, BFF.  (try to yell louder, big fat freak)  BRB GF!  (bring ripe bananas good fellow!)  JK, GTG.  (Just kiss, grab ten guys) 

Please, somebody stop me.

OMG, MYOB! SMH...(Obvious mean girl, make your own bread! Stop mating hamsters...)

OK, I'm done now.  Phew.


  1. You crack me up! But you just need to stop. ASAP (ancient sisters are peeing)

  2. Holy Crap you are a RIOT! Loose old loonie!!! That's ME!!!!

  3. Oh my gosh, darlin', these are hilarious!
    My fave: Smelly Ass Happy Monkeys
    because it truly defines the stay at home mom experience, at least it did when I was a SAHM.
    Never time for my shower, but my little monkeys were happy.
    loved this. :)

  4. YAOOOC!!!

    (You are officially out of control!)

  5. Okay I found your blog because of Christine (chicken coop} this blog post just cracked me up!!!! I read it out loud to my big kids who were laughing too I think my favorite is LOL because the big kid was Wonka this year the Large Oompa Loomps one cracked us up, we began trying to put it into his lines.