The multi-media trilogy of cool

OK.  I'm just going to put it out there.

I find twitter irritating.

Apparently anyone who is anyone has accounts in the multi-media trilogy of coolness:  The Facebook, The Twitter, and The Blogger.  (two out of three ain't bad?)  Look.  I want to be a tweeter.  I really do.  It seems like everyone is doing it, Mom.  If I want to be popular and cool and famous and like, you know, with it, I feel like twitter might possibly be where it's at.

(Actually, being popular, famous and with it are the last things on my list of life goals.  Wait, they are not even on my list of life goals.  I do however, aspire to be supremely cool.  and unflappable. :))

Here's the thing.  I tried!  I just don't get it.  Like wtf do the @ and # signs mean?  And do I really care if Chelsea Handler just smacked some guy's ass on the subway?  Why do I need to know these things?  Why?  WHY?!

And more importantly, I really really don't think I have anything of great importance to tweet about eleven or 27 times a day.  Let's not forget I am kind of a bored housewife home for hours on end all by my lonesome.  Do you think people would really be rallying to read posts like:  "I just ate an omelet for breakfast. Yum!"  or, "Damn, I really need to vacuum this crap heap." or, "Wow, this sponge smells disgusting. I think it's time for a new one."  or, "Shit!  I'm five minutes late to pick up the kids!  Good stay-at-home Moms don't do that!"  or, "Who ate 18 cinnamon applesauce cups in the space of two days?" (Seriously though, who ate 18 applesauce cups in two days?). 

And you know, I just don't do funny in 140 characters.  Or cool.  Or interesting, really.  Plenty of people do.  I read some twitterers that definitely make me chuckle.  So, I am still trying to get on the bandwagon.  I'm still trying to find a voice.  That's why my tweets are locked.  Haha, that just sounded like I said "treats" with a little speech impediment.  (Yes, I am easily amused)  Anyway, they are locked because I am still pretty sure I sound like a moron.  And I am kind of waiting til I sound less moron-like to open my tweets to the world.  Of course, if you want to be my twitter friend (is that what they are called?), I will probably accept you, because you know,  I am really nice.  So just ask me.

I guess I just don't know if I have the fortitude (whoa.  I said fortitude.) to make enough tweets during the day to count, or be worthy.  And I really, really don't understand the @ and # things. 

I suppose I could learn.  But then I just know they would add something new to the multi-media trilogy of cool and I'd be screwed.  And if they did, it would no longer be a trilogy.  It would be a ...quadrilateral-y? a quatrogy?  What the heck comes after a trilogy anyway??