high noon

I've been trying to convince my brother-in-law John to make a blog.  The main reason is because he said my blog was boring and uninspirational and I want to prove to him that blogs are not all alike, and I want to make fun of his.  The other reason is because he is really funny -- he has a ton of funny stories to tell about every day life.  One of his motivating factors in doing things at all is because of the potential story to be told after. 

A little background info on John:

-John is almost 40 and he grew up on Long Island.

-John is brownish and comes from Argentina.  His own daughter used to think he was black, but he is actually caucasian.

-I met him at college, we were on the same floor.

-The first time I noticed him, I thought he was a huge jerk.

-I introduced him to my sister and they started dating (obviously we have never had the same taste in guys).

-After an on and off relationship for a few years, John and Jen got married.

-They had 3 kids together.

-At a very young age, John decided that he wanted to own a marina, so he made it happen.

-Jen, John and the kids packed up and moved to CT, where they bought a marina on the Long Island sound, and over time turned it into a very successful business.
-John likes to aquire things.  He has the hottest Harley I've ever seen, as well as an Indian motorcycle, boats, snowmobiles, a golf cart and four-wheelers.  He also has a Denali, a pick-up and two Saabs.  I think he wants a little bulldozer.  Mark my words, he will get it.

-John is loud, and opinionated. He can come off as harsh and a snitch obnoxious when he drinks too many martinis, but he is also incredibly loyal, funny, hardworking, smart, insightful, and I know he would try to save my life in a disaster.  I feel like John is someone that I can always count on, and I consider him to be one of my very best friends.

A lot of John's funny stories revolve around things that happen at the marina, as the result of being a business owner and such.  Recently John was pissed because he had made an appointment to interview a guy for a position at the marina and the guy showed up 45 minutes late.  So I asked him, "Well, what time did you tell him to come in?"  and he said, "I told him to come in at high noon."  I'm like, "Does anyone really know what the heck time high noon actually is??  Why didn't you just tell him to come in at noon??"  His response was, "Because I wanted to see if he knew what high noon was."

A while back when John's brother was getting married, he decided to plan a "camping" bachelor party and he coerced my innocent unsuspecting husband into attending.  I figured, how bad can an overnight hiking/camping trip with a couple of guys get?  I should have know better... unbeknownst to the attendees (and their wives), John hired this stripper exotic dancer from NYC to hike a few hundred feet up this mountain in frigid temperatures and put on a little show for his brother.  She actually showed up ($1000 later...), with a gun-toting body guard and a boombox.  He claims that the only reason he did such a thing was for the story...  my husband tried to tell me she kept her clothes on because it was so cold.  Hmph.