you googled that?? part two

OK, another edition of you googled that?  Because people are freaking weird.  And I'm a little concerned that their weirdness brought them to my innocent little boring old blog.


So these two gems were recently googled, "can sloths eat dough?" and "supermodels with camel toes," and they were directed to my blog.  This post in particular.  Geez.  And, omg.  Sherilin totally called it - she said I'd get a bunch of pervy pervs searching for gross things, and she was right.

Someone searched "i hate blowing my nose," and got sent to this post.  To the one who googled that, I feel ya sister.

I don't really get "mothers who teach their daughters to go braless."  I mean yes, I said bra-less, but not in the respect that I was trying to teach my kid to go without.  I thought that post was about Boss Hogg and teachers.

Someone googled "Corey Haim dirty movie bucker" and found their way to this post about my top ten 80's teen crushes.  Well I did discuss Corey Haim, but I didn't call him a dirty bucker.  Whatever that means.

"Close talkers" could have brought someone to several of my posts, because I mention it every so often because it is a thing that really bugs me.  But they were sent here, to my post about... you guessed it!  Close talkers!

OK, so in searching "hairy guys in leather jackets," someone was sent to this post, where I discuss in detail a bunch of sucky dates that I have been on in the past.  One of the sucky dates was with a super hairy guy, and another one was with a guy in a green pleather jacket.  So yeah.  Makes sense.

"False girdle advertisements" and "Bombshell Bra" understandably came to this post, where I talk about SPANX and the fact that wearing them is technically false advertisement if you're trying to pick up a guy.

So sheesh.  It's kind of interesting and disturbing to see what terms are bringing people to your blog.  So like, if you've made your way here and you're freaking weird, you can go now.  Thanks.

It's not me, it's you. Online dating shocker.

So about online dating.


I was talking with someone this weekend who is currently doing the online dating thing and has had the most hysterical, disgusting and scary stories about her experiences.  She typically goes on several dates a week, and so far so bad pretty much.


She has met some nice guys, no keepers, but it seems like the majority of them are players, looking for a quick hook up.  In fact, just last week she went on a lunch date with someone -- first date -- they had a nice lunch and good conversation. He was driving her back to work when all of a sudden, he unzipped his pants and sort of took out his business.  Right there, as he was driving.  First of all,  Who does that???!  And secondly, how did he manage to maneuver himself in such a way that it was even comfortably possible?  I mean, I know I have been out of the dating scene for like, fifteen years or so, but that can't be the norm these days.  I don't care how many dates we've been on, if you are going to expose yourself to me like a perv, it's pretty much a deal breaker.  Like immediately.


He seemed a little surprised when she asked him to put his business back where it belonged, and then even more shocked when she emphatically told him she was not even remotely interested in hooking up.  I'm kind of curious to know if that approach has ever worked for him before.  And when she told me this story, I was a little afraid for her life because that scene just reeks of serial killer.


I've suggested she write a blog detailing her crazy experiences.   And trust me, this story is just the tip of the iceberg.  

She's strong, funny, fun, sociable, attractive -- actually a great person all around.  She started the online dating stuff because after a divorce, she moved far from home to a town where she knew pretty much a tiny handful of people.  She is sociable, and having friends and hanging out is important to her.  It just seems so hard to meet nice, mature people in a "normal" environment these days.

So anyway, I think she should quit the online dating stuff.  It's definitely been great fodder - and great to laugh at her and also with her about the oh so awkward situations she has ended up in, but I have to admit I am a little scared for her life.