staying home and stuff

I feel fortunate enough to be able to spend my time taking care of my family and our household, and I do not work outside of the home. Some people prefer to go to a job, and I guess I prefer to remain at my job every hour of every day.



I never did get the controversy between the "Stay-At-Home-Mom," and the "Working Mom." I mean, who really cares what the title is -- all mothers are working mothers in my opinion. Instead of getting silly over terms, I just choose to enjoy this stage in my life, and take each day as it comes.

No, my life isn't always perfect as a SAHM, in fact it rarely is, but to me, that is actually the beauty of it. I like that if my daughter gets a belly-ache at school, I can run over within minutes and grab her and plop her on the couch til she feels better. If my son forgets his lunch (oh it happens far too often), I can choose to run it over and give it to him (if I am not irritated with his constant forgetfulness). I can neaten my house, pay my bills, make dinner, grocery shop and do all of the things that may distract me or overwhelm me if I only had the weekends to accomplish them.


I also like that I can bring my kids back and forth to school, that I am the first one they greet after a long day, and that life doesn't have to be crazy and rushed and scheduled to death.

Someone recently alluded to the fact that I don't want to go back to work.  Which kind of pretty much hurt my feelings actually.  I guess in many respects I don't want to go back to work, but not because I am lazy or unambitious.  That's what hurt my feelings, the thought that someone might think that of me. 

The reasons that I prefer to stay home rather than go off to work are:

(1) I can.  I can stay home and I feel lucky.  Getting here was a long process - I worked as a kid, started summer jobs when I was 14.  I worked as a student, through college, as a grown up, mother and wife.  I started, ran and sold a business.  I also worked while my husband went to law school.   Now we are in a position where a second income isn't necessary to keep us afloat, and I can stay home.

(2) I (we) don't want babysitters spending more time than we do with our kids.  If I worked, mornings would be hectic and hurried.  Chaos makes me feel crazy inside, and I can see that rubbing off on my kids.  Kids would either be home alone after school for a while, or in after-school care with babysitters til dinner time.  I'd get home and dinner and homework would be hectic and hurried.  My enemy, chaos again.  Before long, baths and bedtime and what do I have to show that is of any value for the day besides a paycheck?  Probably a headache mixed with some guilt.

(3) My husband's schedule is very erratic.  His job will always come first, because it is always going to be the most important one financially.  He has a lot of meetings during the day and at night, and sometimes he has to commute in to the city.  More often than not, I would be responsible for getting 3 kids up, dressed, fed, lunches and bags packed and to two different schools at two different times.  All while getting myself up and dressed and ready and to work (oh, chaos - it hurts my head thinking about it).  If anyone was sick, had an appointment, an emergency or a need - that would fall on my shoulders pretty much 98% of the time.   

Basically, things run more smoothly with me at home.  And it works for us.  So there, naysayers.



One more thing!  I understand that not everybody can or even wants to do this. Being the one home the most can truly be exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming -- my day starts the moment I open my eyes, and doesn't really ever end. Because nine times out of ten, I get up in the night to take care of a kid who (fell out of bed, has an ear ache, had a bad dream, needs to go potty, is coughing, etc.). I do this because I want to, and I totally never judge a Mom who can stay home but prefers to go to work.  To each his own and all that stuff.