Letters from Grandpa; things to read when you're high

A long time ago, I was hanging out with a crowd that was kind of into smoking (you know who you are) a lot of pot on the weekends. A looooong time ago, like pre-several kids ago. Even though I wasn't as much of a weekend stoner as some of the people I hung out with, I was usually kicking around with everyone.

Most nights started with some loud 90's alternative music, chatting and drinking shitty beer, and ended with a toke or seven, aggressively toasting entire loaves of white bread (because, munchies), and reading letters from Grandpa. Not my grandpa.  My grandpa pretty much just signed birthday cards, unless my grandma forged his signature. The Grandpa Letters were from (fake name>) Juan's Grandpa, who was the most unintentionally hilarious old guy ever. When Juan was in college, Grandpa wrote him religiously, which was really so sweet.

So anyway, eventually Juan would bring out a letter, precariously stand on something tall, and proceed to read it to everyone, high.

If you've ever been high, you know that basically everything is hilarious. So a typical sentence like, "Nan and I really miss going to your band concerts, you are the most talented trombone player we've ever heard!" was basically the most knee-slappingly hysterical sentence ever written. Everything Grandpa wrote made me us them literally laugh til we they got cramps in their sides. Half the time Juan couldn't get through a single sentence without laughing til he was crying. If I recall it felt like it took hours for Juan to finish reading one letter.

Grandpa letters were really long and really detailed, all handwritten of course, and they gave us a ton of material to enjoy when we were a little toasted. Juan still has the letters and we recently discussed bringing them out. 

I wonder if they would still get us going the way they did back then. I have a funny feeling they would... I was recently in the presence of a few of the original members of the Pot Smoking Grandpa Letter Reading Crew, and it just so happened they may have been a snitch on the stoned side. Being that the simplest, most innocent of statements was sending them into lengthy fits of hysteria, I'd bet on the Grandpa letters still being pretty effective. Truth is, we still occasionally quote various things that Juan's grandpa said, and they seem to be just as hilarious when everyone is completely sober. 

That Grandpa was a funny guy.

Maybe I'll just be a Hobo then. Also Alzheimer's and trickery.

I was taking a shower the other day and a good idea for a post came to me. So I was going through everything in my head, and then I was just like, you know what? This whole several minutes of mental planning that I just did was a total loss! THOSE ARE FIVE MINUTES OF MY LIFE I'LL NEVER GET BACK. Because guess what guys? I know myself. I knew that I would forget the great idea by the time I got to my computer. I could have spent those five minutes having a great daydream!  FYI, I'm a great daydreamer.

So yeah, I forgot it.

I definitely have a memory problem. Short term memory, not long.  I can remember exact moments from way, way back. But I can't keep a thought from the ten minutes it takes me to get from the shower to my freaking comfy office couch.  It's getting ridiculous.  

So about a month or so ago I started playing memory games on an app my sister told me about. Maybe it's been helping a little bit. I will say that I'm slightly obsessed with a few of the games. But ugh, I just know I'm going to get Alzheimer's. I have a huge fear.  I don't think it's irrational. 

On another note I was mad at my sister because she TRICKED me into coming over for a hangout with several people there. I HATE HANGOUTS WITH SEVERAL PEOPLE THERE. Which she is well aware of.  Which is exactly why she tricked me. When I discovered the trickery, I was all moody at my husband because, well, he was there. And also, my sister is a bully so if I didn't show up she said she was never talking to me again.

We were driving along and Alex was all like, Oh come on, it'll be fun.  
And I was like, Oh no it wont!  Who knows what people will be there!  
And he was like, You know you always have fun when you get there.
And then I said, Maybe! But I think I have a sniffle. I might feel a stomach ache coming on.
And he said, You don't have a sniffle, we're going.
And I said, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
And he laughed!
And so I said, FINE I AM LEAVING YOU! I GUESS I'll JUST BE A HOBO THEN!
And he laughed again!
And he said, Hobos don't have central air. Hobos don't have DVRs, or WiFi.
And then I said, Huh. Well I can live without DVR :::grimace:: and WiFi.  But god damn I'm not sure about the central air...
And he said, We don't have to stay long.
Because maybe he does know me a little.
So I said all grumbley, Fine.

Then we went home and I took a little nap to prepare myself for the tricky hangout. And then guess what?  We went and I had fun. Damn it.

365pics4u: A photo a day Challenge, Days 1 - 7

So I've decided to do a photo a day challenge. The goal is to take a picture a day for 365 days. If you like photography and you feel like sharing some original shots, jump in at any point! Just start with day one and share a link to your post in the comments below. You can also share them on insta (follow me:jesseeb), just be sure to tag me and hashtag 365pics4u, so everyone can check them out! The shots should be your own, and can be anything that you think works with the category of the day. There are no wrong photos. I'll post my week of photos every Sunday. 

This week's photos:

Day 1: SELF PORTRAIT

Day 2: GREEN

Day 3: WET

Day 4: STONE

Day 5: WANDER

Day 6: FRUIT

Day 7: STAR

Don't forget next weeks photos!

Day 8: DOOR

Day 9: KEEP OUT

Day 10: CLOVER

Day 11: DOCK

Day 12: FOG

Day 13: PATH

Day 14: EGG

Things I did as a kid that a modern day mom would lose her shit over

Every now and then (usually when I feel like drinking a TAB and locking my kids outside for a few hours) I think back to how much simpler it seemed when I was little. It just seemed like the worries and stresses were so much less, things were easier and parents didn't get all up in your junk for every little thing you did. Kids were allowed to be kids. Silly, crazy, energetic, curious little hooligans.

I wonder if every generation thinks they had it better, in some capacity. But crap guys, I might actually sound like my Nan when she used to scold us and say, "In my day..." Back then, I thought she was just old and cranky and lame. Sorry Nan.

Well anyway, in MY day,

We could go out to play after breakfast and come back when the street lights turned on. Jeez, when I was a little kid (I'm talking elementary school age), this was totally the norm, and we didn't have cell phones. We were not in constant contact with our parents. The rule was that we had to go home by the time either the church bell rang (6 pm), or when the street lights came on. So basically Mom had zero clue as to where we were all day. Usually she'd ask the mailman at some point if he had seen us, and he'd tell her where we were last spotted. We did have to stay in the neighborhood though. We'd be out in the woods, (with Swiss army knives no less) cutting shit to make forts and stuff. As I recall, we also attempted to crawl through the culverts to the other side of the street as often as we could. We never did make it the whole way... THAT'S SO DANGEROUS GUYS! In my wildest dreams I can't imagine not knowing where my kids are for an entire day. Or not flipping out if I found them scurrying like rats through a filthy, grimy underground culvert pipe, MOM.

I would ride my bike to the grocery store. Sometimes even alone. The grocery store in our town was a little less than a mile from where I lived. Often times Mom would ask one of us to ride our bike to the store for milk or paper towels or something. Nine times out of ten she would give us like $2 for $5 worth of stuff. It was always so embarrassing. But yeah, we'd pedal our little selves to the store WITH NO HELMET, park our bikes and go inside and attempt to buy 5 bucks worth of stuff with two dollars. 

We walked to the candy store by ourselves. The candy store was just about as far away as the grocery store, and we were totally allowed to walk there whenever we had scavenged enough money to get a baggie filled with goodies. I remember actually being shorter than the snowbanks, walking alone with a handful of change in my mitten. Oof, anything for penny candy. What was my mom thinking??

We would walk to school. God forbid. When I make my kids walk to school I am looked at as the mean mom. Which is absolutely ridiculous. Most kids have legs, so it really shouldn't be a hardship for kids to use them for all of 9/10 of a mile. My mom RARELY drove us to school. We had to walk. Every day. Rain or shine or snow (or lugging along a freaking heavy-assed tuba-like instrument). There were no parents dropping their kids off and picking them up after school. Kids were encouraged to actually walk or ride their bikes and get exercise and breathe fresh air. Go figure.

We rolled down grassy hills and played in the woods (omg ticks). These days I have a mild panic attack if one of my kids rolls down a hill or plays around in the woods. Isn't that so sad?? We live in deer tick country, and I am super paranoid about Lyme Disease. It's a real issue around here. When we were kids, that threat was a non-issue. There were no moms frantically chasing after their kids trying to squirt them with DEET to avoid death by Lyme tick. I seriously find this to be really sad... it's like just playing and being a kid is so much harder these days. No wonder all of those little a-holes sit around on their cell phones all day. 

We played on merry-go-rounds. Oh jeez, there were merry-go-rounds everywhere when I was little. Who knew they were so dangerous?  All I knew was how awesome it felt to be twirling around in a cloud of dusty dirt til you almost threw up. We had one at the elementary school and one at the local playground and we would get those things going so fast... I remember my one skinny little sister would literally be hanging on for dear life with her legs flailing in the air. It was really funny. We had no clue someone could easily get really hurt on those things. I don't think my kids even know what a merry-go-round looks like.

We would ride in the back of pickup trucks. Doing this was the norm out in the country. If someone had a pickup truck, it was a guarantee that there would be people riding in the back of it, end of story. I can't imagine that none of us ever fell out because we were generally idiots, misbehaving and cheating death left and right. I actually rode through the entire state of Texas ON A HIGHWAY in the back of a pickup truck filled with blankets and pillows and teenagers. WTF, MOM?! I could be dead right now! I would never let one of my kids ride in the back of a pickup truck, what am I, a moron?

Our dad took us out driving well before it was legal. I seriously learned how to drive at like 12 or 13 years old. My dad or uncle would take us driving out in the country every now and then. My uncle in particular would pick up a forty (or three), and let us drive him around for hours. That's why I am such a great (and so modest too!) driver. A week or so ago my dad mentioned taking my 14 year old out to drive and I was like, THERE'S NO WAY!

We could go to the gate at the airport. Remember the days when you didn't have to wait 45 minutes to go through a security check line fumbling through your bag removing anything that could potentially be deemed as terroristic, with your shoes and jacket off? Remember when you could bring whatever you wanted on a plane, even a jack knife or an open container of mayonnaise?  Remember when you could meet your person at the gate, just like the movies... all exciting and amazing, waiting and waiting and waiting for the plane to just land. I miss that.

Everyone in the universe could blow smoke in your face. Back in the day, you could smoke anywhere, at any time, for however long you wanted. The days of everyone smelling like a god damn ash tray are over! Because now people give a crap about inhaling someone else's shitty, cancer causing, tar-filled second hand smoke. It makes me gleefully happy that I don't have to be forced to waft the smoke from my eyes when all I really want to do is chill with my friends, or watch a movie without hacking, or sit on an airplane breathing relatively decent air. I have to admit on my most recent flight, I wanted to secretly light a cigarette in the bathroom just to see what would happen. I'm such a rebel. A rebel without a cigarette.

We got some serious (and well deserved) bare hiney spankings. Oof. Kids these days have no idea of how scary it was when your Mom said, "Just wait til your Dad gets home!" Which actually meant, "Just wait til your Dad gets home and whips your ass, you little jerks!" When I grew up it was totally acceptable to get a bare hiney spanking for being a shitty little brat. When we would misbehave enough to get my Mom frazzled enough to utter those terrifying words, we would hustle upstairs and put on as many layers of underpants as we could fit on our butts, hoping that our Dad wouldn't notice the extra paddding when he smacked us good for being naughty. Apparently you're not really supposed to mention that you're not opposed to giving your kid a swat on the ass anymore as needed, or other parents will promptly report you to DSS for child abuse. There's a huge difference between abuse and a smack, in my opinion. 

Your safety was definitely over-rated back in those days. Seat belts, bike helmets, sunblock? What's that? Locking the door to your house, wouldn't think of it! Letting your kid walk home from school alone to an empty house? No big deal... and while you're at it, why don't you start the noodles for dinner? Going for a Sunday drive with the fam? Don't forget to grab Dad's six-pack! The more that I think about it, the more I am shocked so many of us actually survived.

second guessing, over indulging and the domino effect

I was just thinking about the time that I went to the moving up ceremony at the elementary school when my youngest was going from kindergarten to first grade. Several of the parents brought flowers, balloons and/or gifts for their kid. I was like, these guys are 5 years old for fucks sake! Nothing like setting them up for a lifetime of thinking they get a huge prize for every footstep they take! I don't know, maybe that sounds cynical and mean, but when did a kiss and hug and, "Wow great job!" become too little?? Don't these over-indulgent people realize the domino effect that they'll have on the other, normal-ish parents?? You're all thinking, greaaaaat, now at the next event, everyone will be bringing their kids fancy prizes to avoid looking like that one single DoucheParent, and to keep up with all of the other SuperParents... where does it all end?!

Truth be told, I felt shitty and caved. My kid came off the stage and ran to me all excitedly looking for her balloon and WRAPPED PRESENT, and she promptly asked, "Where's my present?" My husband and I looked at each other like, shit... I felt so guilty, I told her that her present was going for an ice-cream cone and to the local dollar store to pick out a shitty prize. I wish I had it in me to just be like, "Your prize is being a Kindergarten graduate! And isn't it awesome that you got a certificate for Outstanding Student?  WooHOO! Now lets go to the playground and I'll push you on the swing til I'm so bored I can't think straight." 

I hate when I cave to things like that!!  It never even occurred to me that anyone would bring their kid a bouquet of flowers. Because, why?? Why would you? If I had known that was normal protocol, I would have been better prepared mentally. For future reference, I'd appreciate a heads up when we are all supposed to be over-indulging our kids. Not that it would change my stance or anything, but at least I'd have some pre-thoughtout response when my kid looks around at the 5 year old in the ballgown getting a dozen roses for doing something that every other kid in the universe does.  Like, come on!  I am barely even exaggerating when I say a kid was in a ball gown getting a dozen roses. I was like, huh? 

On another note, is it just me or is it stupid that there is a moving up ceremony for every freaking step of the way in school? First there's a "Moving Up from 3 year old Pre-K to 4 year old Pre-K." Then there's "Moving Up from 4 year old Pre-K to Kindergarten, " then "Moving up from Kindergarten to First Grade." At least you get a break between Elementary and Middle School. Because yes, yes there is a "Moving up from Fifth Grade to Middle School" ceremony. When I was a kid, at the end of 6th grade when all of us dumb bells were leaving Elementary School and heading to Junior High, my mom handed me a brown bag with a soggy tuna sandwich in it and said, "Have a great day!" And then I walked almost a mile to school (God forbid!) with my little sisters tagging along behind me like I was the Pied Piper, asking me to tell them a story for the walk. The only real ceremony we had was when we actually graduated (from High School) and were heading to college!

We of course had like, a last day of school doing cool stuff, playing games and eating popsicles and bouncing around with excitement at the upcoming summer vacation, and that was good enough! It was fun! I almost think having a million different ceremonies sort of dulls the excitement of the real achievement - graduating from High School. The kids are all like, "Oh. Another party. Bleh."

I guess my biggest issue is that I hate second guessing my parenting skills because I know that I am a good, smart, logical and kind parent with a shit ton of experience and patience. I really, honestly did raise some decent humans, which means I've done something right, right? 

What are your thoughts on presents, awards and prizes for every damn achievement under the sun?

I don't want to get strangled while I'm on vacation, so I guess I'll just stay married then

Sometimes I remain married mostly because every other guy out in the world seems to be a freaking psycho. (just kidding, hon)

I just read this thing about a person about my age who was dating someone, a professional, normal looking guy. A lawyer, even. And it turns out they went on vacation and besides whooping it up, drinking margaritas on the beach and having raucous hotel sex, as people generally do when they're on vacation, the guy decided to strangle his girlfriend. So now she's all dead.

So that's slightly terrifying for single people out there, just trying to meet someone nice.  How does one go about avoiding the psychos out there when they are so clever at hiding in plain sight, looking all normal and non-murderous?

A lot of times, it seems like the people that are getting divorced are the people in my age group - their 40's or so. Its not like people my age can just meet another guy walking along on campus, or strike up a flirty conversation with that cute guy you sit next to in Psychology 101. You have to actively try, like actually put yourself out there, if you're interested in meeting someone and/or dating. 

How the hell is an introvert like myself supposed to meet someone?  I don't go out really. I'm not a bar hopper or anything. And I don't actually even work (outside of the house). The only opportunity I ever have to meet people is like, at a kids school or sporting event. And who wants to get into that whole ball of wax anyway? I'd have no interest in dating locally... way too uncomfortable, if you ask me. How else are people my age supposed to meet decent, non-murderous guys to date?  There must be a general checklist of questions to ask someone before you get to the point of kind of digging them.

Here are a few questions that I would ask a potential date PRIOR TO actually going someplace alone, and in the dark, with someone new:

1. Are you a psycho?

2. Will you strangle me if we go on vacation?

3. What kind of thing would encourage you to strangle me if we were on vacation?

4. Have you ever strangled someone on vacation?

5. And lastly, about the strangling, have you ever considered strangling someone on vacation?

5. If you are normal and non-murderous, do you enjoy sitting on the couch and watching reality TV while eating takeout?

6. And finally, do you listen to stupid music? Because if so, this interview is OVER.

my night at home, and also, hey! this is my 1,000th post!

Hey, I just realized this will be my 1,000th post! Jeez, it's not even going to be a good/interesting/exciting/humorous post! I have nothing great planned for this momentous event! I'm so lame. Sorry.

Anyway, some magazine I read had this feature called "My Night at Home," and it was one of those things where a celebrity fills in the blank so we can all read it and feel some connection to how "normal" they actually are.

In case you were interested in what my night at home looks like, OK let's be real, pretty much every night I have is a night at home, because I don't usually go out on the town. In case you didn't know, I am a complete introvert that likes being in my comfy clothes and likes hanging in my own cozy space. But because it's Friday (wooHOO! TGIF GUYS!) I will be like a celebrity and give you all of the dirty details from last night's night at home. I know you can't wait.

My night at home, 

I watched very little on TV because Alex was out of town overnight for a few meetings. I can't watch any of our shows without him because that's just TV cheating and that's not very nice. Also, when nobody is home, I kind of like the peace and quiet.

I shopped online for something a little weird. I want to try to make some of my own make-up, so I shopped for some of the ingredients I need, like Shea butter and arrowroot powder and weird stuff like that. Also the little jars and things to put the make-up in once I've made it.

I called Alex, because he wasn't home. And also, he's one of the few people I talk with on the phone. I hate talking on the phone. Come to think of it, he probably called me.

I kissed my kids goodnight. That's it. No other kissing occurred, damn it.

I texted Alex a few times because you know, he texted me first, so I answered. I'm often nice like that. Also my friend Melissa to firm up plans between our kids for Friday.

I wore comfy grey PJ pants, a black tank top and a black zip up hoodie. And slippers. Definitely slippers. I typically wear some version of this every night. I love to be comfy.

I hung out with my own self. See above. I am perfectly fine hanging alone. I like it, actually.

I listened to playlist after playlist on Spotify. I organized a few of them, actually. I love organizing my tunes. And listening to them.

I laughed at something, probably. Or maybe not.

I cooked a grilled cheese sandwich. I am a fan of the grilled cheese sandwich... all warm and cheesy. Yum.

Which reminds me that I have forgotten to eat lunch. Good thing because wow, my nights are pretty boring, now that I look at it all spelled out for all of the world to see. I'm not offended if you concur because those are actually my favorite kind of nights. Quiet, calm, peaceful and grilled cheese. Works for me!

Organizing, ripped underwear and self fulfilling prophecies

I'm currently sitting in/on my bed surrounded by papers, bills, coupons and magazines.  I'm not sick or anything, I'm just hiding out from the cleaning lady and trying to get crap done in the meantime. Am I the only one who hides from the cleaning lady?

Bad news: I can't be in/on my office comfy couch!  It's very distressing.  Also, I'm hungry! On the plus side, it will smell all nice and clean down there once she's finished.

During the hiding out, I am forced to manage all of my built up paper/work stuff, which isn't actually the worst thing I guess. How does it all build up so quickly?  I've been mentally planning a big organization of all of things disorganized around here. I've been mentally planning that particular thing for approximately three years or so, but who's counting?  I have a pretty good "organizing" Pinboard going right about now. I really think I'm going to get to it this time.

In proving my theory that I am ready to actually do the organizing, I give you exhibit A. Well, I'm not posting a picture, but I'll tell you exhibit A.  I reorganized my (side of the) closet! It looks and feels pretty great, I have to say. It's been driving me crazy forever because I used to be a obnoxiously highly organized kinda gal. Then something happened and I just lost all of my steam. And everything went to Hell in a hand basket.

Incidentally, I think  "Hell in a hand basket," is such a funny term. Because first of all, what exactly is a hand basket? A basket that you carry in your hand, I imagine, all the way to Hell. But aren't ALL of them hand baskets then?  And who came up with it anyway? And are we supposed to capitalize Hell? We all know I have trouble with capitalization. I never actually think about using that term til the appropriate moment is gone. That's the story of my life. 

Anyway, The Great Master Closet Makeover, as I like to refer to it, happened a few days ago, and I'm really happy with it, it makes me say ahhh whenever I walk in there. Basically, I took out every last thing for the viewing on the bed. Which was where I decided which pile it should go in: the Keep, Donate or Toss pile, if you will.

I seriously ended up with so many donate bags... literally garbage bags full of stuff to donate. That's embarrassing. No wonder it was so messy in there! Now it's a lot less cluttered, everything is in it's place, and I feel pretty accomplished.  Next is Alex's side, and that'll be a nightmare. He's worse than me, in the hoarding department. I can't even throw away a ripped pair of his underwear without him literally saving it from the garbage. They might be his lucky underwear! Jeez. He's so superstitious. He really thinks his underwear is lucky. He thinks if he wears stupid undies, I will get mad at him at some point that day. It's the same with his washcloths (weird, I know).

Whenever I take one of his washcloths and WASH IT, he stamps around like a baby saying, "I know you're going to be mad at me now! That was my lucky washcloth!" 
And I'm all, "But hon, it's gross and germy and you're washing yourself with gross germs!" 
And he's all, "But I wasn't ready for you to wash it!" 
And I'm all, "OK, self fulfilling prophecy because you're being a child and now I'm starting to feel a little mad at you." 
And he's all, "A-HA! I KNEW IT!"

Does anyone else have a fool who is really superstitious about certain items of clothing, or washcloths??

So I guess I should go show my face for a minute or something. I really would like some food, and I suppose I have to pay the cleaning lady at some point. You can come back whenever, I'll be here. 

I TRIED IT, a product review, healthy stuff and nature verses nurture

OK, so for a while now, I've been slowly replacing various things with an organic or natural substitute. Not because I'm a crunchy, judgey crazy person, just because I make the mistake of reading too much, and it stresses me out when I think about how many chemicals I unknowingly have in, around and on my bod on a daily basis.

I blame my sister. She had cancer last year, and I was reading up on things as far as what she could eat, etc after her surgery, and suddenly I was bombarded with information about all of the cancer causing ingredients in stuff we use all day, every day. It got interesting and actually pretty scary, and I started doing more research and learning about it all. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I have choices and I have the ability to limit what I expose myself and my family to. 

I swear I'm not a weirdo. I don't preach about it, I keep it to my own little self. I slowly get rid of the crap, and then reintroduce better, healthier alternatives. Also, a lot of these organic and natural products are cruelty free, and that's important to me too. Because, animals. So I was thinking that maybe I would review some of the products that I have tried and liked or disliked, just in case anyone else is interested.  I'm so not an expert, but I definitely appreciate real opinions from real people when I am looking at trying something new. 

The other day, I was thinking that my husband is so chill, and he never gives me a hard time about buying stuff. So I said, "Hon, thanks for being cool about me trying different products, I know I smell different" 
and he was like, "Oh, I don't mind. I like that you try different stuff. It's Nature verses Nurture." 
and I said, "Nope. No it isn't even close to Nature verses Nurture." 
and he said, "Oh." And then he took out the garbage.

Just so  you don't think my husband is a moron, Nature verses Nurture is a little running joke we have. Every so often he throws it out there in conversation, maybe one day he'll actually get it right.

ANYway, here's my take on some deodorant.  Most deodorants/anti-perspirants are aluminum based, and some of them contain parabans and phthalates (ingredients often used as preservatives in cosmetics), among other things. These ingredients have been tossed around as a possible link to breast cancer and Alzheimer's. Regardless, so may of the deodorants that are on the shelves have all sorts of harsh chemicals in them, and the products that you put on your body are absorbed into your body. 

I don't want to put those ingredients on my bod, so I decided to try:

The Honest Co. 
honest deodorant, lavender vanilla $8.95
"Safely neutralizes and instantly refreshes for long-lasting odor protection. Our aluminum-free deodorant offers soothing, yet powerful essential oils and botanical extracts to help inhibit underarm bacteria and odor, and deliver a healthy dose of clean freshness — anywhere, anytime. Made without: aluminum, zinc salts, propylene glycol, butylene glycol, parabens, phthalates, fragrances, triclosan, talc, steareth-n, silica, silicones, dyes, or most common allergens."

The truth is, I liked it, but it is definitely different than your normal drugstore brands.  It comes in a (plastic) spray pump.  I chose the lavender vanilla scented spray because I really like lavender. It was nice and refreshing, not sticky, and it didn't leave any white residue. Though the scent wasn't overpowering, I definitely smelled like a relaxing spa all day (which isn't the worst thing to smell like if you ask me).  It seemed to work pretty well, but in order to not feel like I had a stinky armpit, I had to periodically reapply throughout the day. I do have an obsession with not smelling smelly, so I'm not sure if other people would feel the need to re-apply. That having to re-apply was my only real negative. It was kind of like perfume for your pit. It isn't an anti-perspirant, but I am not naturally very sweaty, so that didn't bother me. I will continue to use this I think, but I am going to try another brand that I read good things about. I'll review it as soon as I try it.

I ordered this product from the Honest Co. website. In comparison to other organic deodorant products price-wise, it is pretty much in the middle (not including shipping). I checked into a bunch of different brands and they ranged from about $6 - $19. 

So there it is. An actual product review. I don't know if I did it right, but you get what you get and you don't get upset. Pre-school rules. Learn them.

*I bought this product, and this is my opinion based on my experience with it.

18 pretty important manners kids should learn

I'm by far a perfect parent, but I have been one for 26 years, so I have a little experience. I still screw things up often enough, yet somehow I ended up with some pretty decent kids. Go figure. I guess I'm doing something right. It's always been super important to me that my kids are respectful, polite and have decent manners. Because manners still matter guys. 

I often find it kind of surprising how many people don't use (or teach their children) basic manners these days. I pretty much feel like as parents, it's our job to grow decent adults. That's what we signed up for when we decided to have kids, right? 

From the very beginning, we've done our best to model this stuff at our house. Of course the best role models that kids have are their parents, so for kids to learn what is appropriate, the most important thing you can do is show them by example. It makes sense that it's not going to stick when you tell your kid she has to use an inside voice, but you scream at her brother for not picking up his toys all of the time. Those mixed messages are hard for kids to reconcile. Except when you step on an errant lego. That's totally worth an errant psycho scream.

It's best to begin with the basics, then add age appropriate etiquette rules as children get older and have more of an understanding of things. I think when you continually reinforce polite behavior and good manners, kids will eventually catch on. Coaching, reminders and positive reinforcement are very important in getting manners to stick. With consistency, even toddlers should have the basics down.  I actually still remind my kids about manners and polite behavior sometimes, and they're all in double digits now. Does it ever end?  One would wonder.

I've put together a few of the basics. I'm sure I'm missing some. If you think of more, let me know in the comments!

1. "Please," and "thank you," "no thank you," and "you're welcome," are great to start with. It shows respect and appreciation.

2. Don't interrupt when someone is talking, and if you do need to get someone's attention, say "excuse me."

3. Look at me when I am talking to you. It makes me feel like you are hearing me.

4. Respond when someone is speaking to you or asking you a question.

5. Call adults Mr. and Mrs, unless they tell you otherwise.

6. When meeting someone new, say, "It's nice to meet you."

7. Eat what you're served, or at least try a bite of everything.

8. Clear your own plates from the table. 

9. Make your own beds.

10. Say excuse me.

11. Knock before entering a closed door.

12. Ask to help.

13. Don't badger. Badgering is a surefire way to not get what you are asking for in our house.

14. Write a thank you note  when someone gives a gift. 

15. Say "goodbye," and "thank you for having me," when leaving a friend's house.

16. Don't call people names or make fun of others. This is a hard and fast rule, there shouldn't be any exceptions.

17. Say "I'm sorry," if you hurt someone, or do something that you didn't mean to do.

18. Be a good sport. Even if you lose a game, it's nice to say "Good game," to your opponent. Good sportsmanship also means not to gloat or be what we call a "sore winner."