Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Do you really want your member mocked?

Maybe it's me, and maybe I'm old, but I'm so not interested in getting a dick pic.

I mean, like, what would possess a guy to text a girl a picture of his junk?  I appreciate a person who is confident in their anatomy, sure.  I'm glad you're proud of your package, just - I'm not all that sure I want actual photographic proof of it on my phone.

Like, what do you expect me to actually do with that?  I promise you, I will not open the picture periodically throughout the day and lovingly gaze upon it.  I will cringe and cover my one good eye.  Because I don't know... it seems so graphic and like, in your face.  So yeah,  it will be completely wasted on me.  So please dude, just, don't.

I just guess I am unclear as to why it's all the rage to send pictures like that to people you are dating.  Apparently it is the thing to do?  I read something online that said over 50% of adults send nude or semi-nude photos of themselves via text message.  I found that kind of shocking.   I guess I sort of understand it with the younger crowd.  Like, the teenager to young twenty-something crowd.  They're all hip and like, young and firm carefree... they're also dumbasses and their brains aren't fully developed, but that's neither here nor there.

I mean come on!  Do you really think that these pictures just disappear into thin air once they are viewed?  They are out there people!  Somewhere, someone is gazing at your private body part!  Possibly laughing at you and mocking your member.  Do you want your member mocked?  And what if you decide you want to run for public office, Cod forbid?  It will come out.  Oh yes.  Because it always comes out.

My son is 16.  He has received numerous boob shots.  I swear to baby Jesus if I see one more underage boob of girls I see regularly in town, I will vomit.  That is so inappropriate!  What do I do?  Do I reach out and try to approach their parents?  I mean, I've talked to my kids about this kind of thing - I periodically monitor their stuff (which is why I happened to stumble across such lovely images in the first place).  I don't understand why more parents don't pay better attention to their kid's online activities.  Some of the things that I have seen sent to my son are repulsive, seriously. 

I am not a prude.  I am not opposed to whatever form of sexting floats your boat - I mean, as a consenting adult, I imagine certain things spice up a relationship - you get to express yourself in ways that maybe you normally don't.  Words and images can be a really powerful way to build intimacy between people, especially those that are separated by distance and/or circumstance.

I don't know.  I guess I just prefer something a little more subtle than a graphic, in your face wiener shot.  Text me a picture of a guy in boxer briefs, vacuuming or something.  Now that, my friends, is something that I'd find totally sexy.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, wow. Really? He's gotten boob shots? Wow. I have no idea how to respond. I'm teaching a lot about Digital Citizenship to my k-5th graders and I assure you that those pictures are indeed out there. Forever. It's true that a lot of parents monitor NOTHING. I'm not even sure that they'd care if you did go tell them. This is going to require some thought.