"what up with the gigantic pants?"

...to quote Sam from iCarly.  (don't I just reek of 3 kids under 12, home for summer vacation?)

So I have bad news and good news.  The bad news is, my pants are falling off.  And the good news is... my pants are falling off!

Here is why this is a good thing:  Because I am a fatso and I have needed to lighten up for far too long, and now, finally, the numbers on the scale are creeping down.  Yeehaw!

Here is why this is a bad thing:  Because now I have nothing to wear.  And my being nude, or pantsless for that matter, would scare the skinny teen-agers in the neighborhood.  And possibly scar them for life.  On a good note, getting a good look at the road map of stretch marks that cover me from boob to thigh may actually deter them from premarital sex.  Because everyone knows that with babies come stretch marks.

So, anyway, I guess I need to go buy some new pants.