what the eff?

There's really only one thing about fall that I can't stand.  The fucking fall fundraisers.  Or, as I like to refer to them, the FFF.

Fine, I don't refer to them as the FFF, but they are so annoying!  Maybe it's just me.  But really?  Come on, they have a whole assembly to show all of the kids the super cool awesome prizes they can win if they sell only 299 rolls of wrapping paper!  So then I have to break the news to my kid that she won't be selling 299 rolls of wrapping paper, because who buys wrapping paper for $4.99 a roll?!   And, and you guys?  You know that $4.99 roll of wrapping paper that you just bought?  Well, it wraps about 3 presents!!  Seriously, have you ever seen what it looks like under my tree on Christmas morning?  $4.99 rolls of wrapping paper are not going to cut it here.

Sometimes, I try the old sneak and toss method, where I just sneakily toss the whole fundraising packet, and if the kids remember about it before it needs to be turned in, I claim ignorance.  Sometimes you just have to do that.

You know, I get fundraisers.  I understand why they do them.  I just don't like them.  I think, you know, I pay my school taxes.  And I pay a lot!  Why can't that be enough?  They should  make it really clear that the fundraisers are optional.  Because you know what ends up happening every damn time??  I feel guilty and buy the cute checkbook cover, the huge tub of cookie dough, a roll of effing $4.99 wrapping paper and a key chain, spending approximately $89.00 on junk that I will never use (except the huge tub of cookie dough. who am I kidding.  mmm), all so my kid can get a crappy plastic necklace prize that will break way before she loses it.  Like in ten minutes.  So, in other words, I just spent $89 on a cheap plastic kid's necklace.

Huh?  I don't even spend $89 on a necklace for myself!  Well.  Except that one time when I bought myself that fantastic necklace from Tiffany's by accident.  But whatever!  You know what I mean!

Here's the kicker, which is maybe why I get so annoyed by fundraisers in general.  I have 3 kids in school.  I get those packets from each kid twice a year (minimum!).  That means I have to deal with that crap SIX TIMES a school year.  And that's only the school fundraiser!  Last week I got two dance class fundraisers and a soccer fundraiser!  My Cod.  I cant even keep up anymore!

Anyway, that's my rant for the day.  Sorry.  I'll move on now.