99 and friday 5

So you guys!  I officially have 99 followers!  WooHOO!

I am so close to triple digits I can almost taste it.  

I just wanted to point out that exciting news before I started a little Friday five minute purge.  Yikes, can you believe it is Friday already?!  I know!  Me neither.  Do you like how I am conversing with myself? Or more like I am conversing with an imaginary reader.

So yeah, I know I am weird.  
11:40 a

Hm.  It's a beautiful sunny morning, and I sit here with my coffee, kind of cold.  Ah, pretty much definitely cold.  In warm weather I tend to have a harder time finishing a cup.  In fact, when it's warm, coffee usually makes me a little nauseous.  I've actually been a little nauseous for the past few days.  I should be in a better mood than I am.  I just got back from a little adventure that I so loved.  Have you ever been to New Mexico?  Now I can say that I have.  It was just a really cool place.  Very dry, very brownish, very different from home.  There was so much to see and do and eat.  If you are an art lover, there are these sculptures all over the place in Santa Fe, wind sculptures that are totally cool and mesmerizing.  I wanted to take one home.  Or twenty.  I'm not sure I would have been able to smuggle them onto the plane.  And they probably might look weird at my house, but I don't care.  I like them. Also, the food there is incredible.  I actually believe I had a meal that could be in my top five all time meals ever eaten.  It was breakfast at this place called Pasquale's.  I highly, strongly, fully encourage you to eat a meal or three there if you are ever in Santa Fe.  The menu is amazing and it is so hard to decide what to order.  I had a Durango Omelet with green chile sauce and I may have died a little bit eating it.  It was a man sized portion and I pretty much think I would have licked my plate if I thought nobody would notice.  So, so, so good.  I was seated next to this couple traveling from Michigan I think, who ordered pancakes.  Like, why would you order pancakes in New Mexico?  I love pancakes. But I can have pancakes every day at home.  Well, they looked amazing, I must admit.  But still, I personally was going for the southwestern experience food-wise, and I had to order something spicy and different.  Anyway, I need to go back.  I didn't get to see nearly as much as I wanted to.  And guess what?  John is dumb.  New Mexico is not boring at all.  I'll post more about it next week.

11:50.  whoops, that was ten minutes.

wanna win a prize or something?

So I am into begging for friends now, apparently.  The thing is, I have been hovering at 96 follows for so long, it's turned into a mockery.  Why can't a few more people just want to be my friend??

I'll even accept a few more people to be followers that don't necessarily want to be my friend, people who plan to never read one post.  That's how bad I want to hit triple digits.

Why do I care, you ask?  I don't know.  I don't know!  I am kind of reminded about that time when I was sixteen and I weighed 102 pounds (omfg) and all I wanted was to weigh 99.  That's actually a rather fucked up thing to admit to the entire blogosphere, but it's the truth man.  All I wanted was to lose those stupid three pounds.  Much like these days, except multiply that number by like 11.  Yeah.  Don't make me say it out loud, we all know you can do the math.  And if you can't, just use a calculator dumbass.

ANY way, do I sound cranky?

I think I am.  Maybe that's why those pesky four followers won't follow me.  I guess I better change my mood.  Or maybe not call people who can't do simple math dumbasses.

What if I sweeten the deal?  I mean, I could probably mail the 100th follower a $5 gift card to Target!  Woohoo!  Because I have one of those things, and I always seem to forget to use it.  And if it helps me in bribing a few people to follow me, I'm all for it.

But what about the other loyal followers?  I wish I had even better than a gift card to Target for some of the great people that I have virtually met through this blogging thing.  Really, I do.  Thanks guys, those of you who still hang around and read my goofy ramblings.  

I appreciate you.  

Do I offend? sniff sniff

I just noticed that someone dropped me from their blog roll follower list thing.

Well that hurts my feelings.  I may have actually had a little tear in my eye about it.  No, that was just dirt.  Really, it was just a little dirt in my eye.  But I was really enjoying the number 76.  That was the number of followers I had.  It made me feel like a leader.  It made me feel like a hot shot.


Do people still even say hot shot?


Maybe that's why the follower decided not to follow me anymore.  Maybe I am too uncool because I say things like hot shot and rewind.  I mean, maybe a girl who says hot shot is just not worthy of that hip, fancy follower.


Maybe I am boring.  Maybe my posts are just too all over the place to hold that meanie follower's attention.  Maybe I need a niche.  Maybe it's because I say an occasional swear word!  Oh my Cod maybe it's because I said the V word yesterday!

 Do I offend?


Actually, I really don't mind being unfollowed.  For reals.  Because if someone isn't feeling my blog, I totally accept that.  I want the people who give me a second of their time to enjoy that second.  If they aren't digging it, it's no skin off my nose -- it just means we aren't similar enough in some way to have a connection  And I really think I prefer the number 75.  It's rounder, don't you think?

So all of you (three) remaining loyal readers, I think we have a connection.  I think it might even be a love connection.  Because I puffy heart all of you guys.  I might even be persuaded to marry you if my husband didn't care.  And if it was legal in this state of course.  Anyway, I know it's pathetic to beg, but please don't unfollow me.  I'll make an effort to be cooler!  I promise!