a dry run

Spent the weekend in CT with the fam, it was good.  

I do like hanging with my sisters, it's so good to just sit around for hours in comfy clothes eating and talking and drinking coffee and planning for the Apocalypse.

Don't tell anyone we are still planning for the Apocalypse.

John wants to do a challenge, a "dry run," if you will, where we all have to get to CT (which is part one of our plan of action) but get there as if it had really happened.  Like, no car for transportation, because obviously, the roads would be pretty impassable.  That leaves four wheelers, boats or walking.  I can't tell you my exact plan, but it involves me stealing a boat, so if I do a dry run I might get arrested.

I wonder if the cops would understand if I explained.  I mean, everyone really needs to do a dry run!  They teach kids about that with fire drills - how would we all know what tree to meet at if there was a fire if we didn't have drills?  We wouldn't, would we?

The only problem with the dry run boat stealing thing (besides impending jail time, of course) is if there was an Apocalypse that happened because of an EMP.

I know all about EMP's, trust me.  Because I am a freak like to be in the know!

In case you aren't aware, an EMP is an Electromagnetic Pulse, and it is entirely plausible that one could occur as a form of nuclear war and shut down basically everything electronic.  I made the mistake of reading this book called One Second After, and it freaked me right out, let me tell you.

Ah, maybe I shouldn't divulge my mental instability.  I don't have a panic room.

I wish I had a panic room.  But I don't.  If I did I would have candy in there. 

So anyway, how was your weekend?

random yapping

Man, it's COLD!  I have no desire to go outside today.  

Well, actually, I do have a desire to go outside today, but I will not.  When it's cold enough to freeze your nose holes together, it's too cold to enjoy the outdoors.  That's my philosophy.  I read a funny tweet that said something like - wind chills just don't translate for me. How about wind descriptions, like "microdermabrasion" and "needles in your eyeballs." I was like, um, yes.

So instead, I will roam around my house.  

I have lots to do, so much I could do.  I could organize the hoarder room.

That room is a shocking embarrassment.  Kara and my poor sister are subjected to sleep there when they come over.  Somewhere in there, there is a bed.  Pretty much the rest of it is piles.  Ridiculous piles of things I so need to purge.  A good majority are outgrown clothes, but there are also boxes of craft supplies.  Because I am a weirdo, and I cannot go into a craft store without buying stupid amounts of things that I am positive I will use one day.  Like a paper crinkler.

Because everyone needs a paper crinkler.  Obviously.

I also need to reorganize my kitchen cabinets.  Is there a phobia for fear of purging?  I have so many things that I just don't use, or multiples of things.  Like, why do you need several of the same sized mixing bowl?  For that one time when you have someone over to mix things with you?  Or 11 wooden spoons?  I mean, clearly you don't use more than one wooden spoon at a time, so why do I need so many?

The answer is, I don't.  But I have the roughest time boxing stuff up and getting rid of it.  Because I think, what if??

I think I am going to partake in a purging challenge.  Starting tomorrow!!!  Tomorrow I will lay out my plan and start.  And then I will tell you all about it.  And maybe I will like, sell stuff on eBay and make all sorts of cash and be so happy.

Or maybe the week after I donate that brown suede coat I haven't worn in three years, I will wish I had a brown suede coat...

quitter

I didn't formally make any New Year's resolutions.  Every year, I start January filled with hope of a "fresh start" and a "new beginning," and blahblahblah.  And then, I pretty much never complete anything significant on my resolution list.

It's like, you put all of this pressure on yourself to do all of the things you procrastinate about or hate, but you expect yourself to achieve these things all at once - you're basically bound to fail.  Especially if you have my personality disorder, which is a giver-upper before fail-er.  I wonder if there is an actual term for that.  Maybe I should make one up.

For the most part, I am a quitter.  I hate to fail.  But I never really recognized that giving up or quitting before failing was actually failure in itself.

I'm not sure what it would take to motivate myself to make certain changes that I really want and need to make in my life.

The thing I need to get over is that giant fear of failure.  I guess my old therapist would have said, so what if you do fail?  Who cares, really?  Besides me, anyway I guess.  But it matters if I care, right?

Right about now I am so craving some time alone.  I need to get away from responsibilities and just clear my brain.  I've been sleeping kind of sucky lately.  I need to just think and make decisions and figure things out.  Everything is hard.  I need to figure out where to go.







there's something about you
it's hard to explain
there's something inside you, boy
and you're still the same

the last word, v13

People Magazine has this feature thing on the last page of their magazine.  On the last page, they have a feature called the last word (so clever!) where a celebrity answers a few questions on some of the last things they've done.  So even though I'm not a celebrity or anything (wait. what?!), I'm going to go ahead and answer the questions.  Because, why not?

The last thing I broke was a a pair of reading glasses.  Thankfully I have a hundred cheap pairs laying all over the house, because I seem to break them all of the time.  I was sad though, because the latest pair I broke I really liked.  They were on my bed and I sat on them in the dark.  Damn it.

The last time I was scared was probably when we were recently away at this resort, and Brooke ran into the path of a car that was backing up.  It was like a slo-mo thing, and thank God someone yelled and the driver slammed on the brakes!  That was a heart on the ground kind of moment.

The last time I fought with a sibling was probably over the summer.  My BIL John and I had a loud screamy tiff one night, which is so very rare for me.  I don't fight with anyone much.  I think I won because I got an apology the next day.  That's all I will say about that.

The last TV show I watched was the finale of The Americans last night.  I decided to sort of challenge myself to watch the top ten shows recently recommended by People Magazine, and that was the first one on the list.  I ended up having to buck up and download the series from itunes because I couldn't get it on demand, but it was really great!  It's a show on FX about this couple who are Russian spies in the 80's, living as an average American family.  Kerri Russell and Matthew Rhys star in it and they're really good.  I can't wait til the next season starts.

The last day off I had was, well, pretty much every day.  I don't work.  Well, I work, but not like at a jobjob, so every day is "off" for me.  The last time I had a day off from my regular life though, like of being a mom and taking care of things at home I guess would have to be my last real solo get-away, which was to NM.  I have a couple of new get-aways in mind though, so I'll have some days off soon enough.   

The last movie I watched was Frozen, at the theater with the kids.  I liked it!  It was really cute, a good little story with some good music.  Idina Menzel played one of the parts, and her voice is amazing, so that was cool.  Victoria really liked the movie because it was set in Norway, and it reminded her of home.

words to live by

New Year thoughts and things and words to live by...

This moment is your life. – Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death.  Your life is between now and your next breath.  The present – the here and now – is all the life you ever get.  So live each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear and regret.  And do the best you can with what you have in this moment; because that is all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself.

A lifetime isn’t very long. – This is your life, and you’ve got to fight for it.  Fight for what’s right.  Fight for what you believe in.  Fight for what’s important to you.  Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you.  Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance.  So stop for a moment and think.  Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today.  There are only so many tomorrows.

Failures are only lessons. – Good things come to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve tasted failure, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt.  So never regret anything that has happened in your life; it cannot be changed, undone or forgotten.  Take it all as lessons learned and move on with grace.

You are your most important relationship. – Happiness is when you feel good about yourself without feeling the need for anyone else’s approval.  You must first have a healthy relationship with yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with others.  You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes, so that you’ll be able to look confidently into the eyes of the people around you and connect with them.

A person’s actions speak the truth. – You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times; but in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by.  So pay attention to what people do.  Their actions will tell you everything you need to know.

Behind every beautiful life, there has been some kind of pain. – You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live, you learn.  You’re human, not perfect.  You’ve been hurt, but you’re alive.  Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the things you love.  Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty.  We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we hurt, for we will never know what is waiting for us just around the bend.

So there. 

that christmas review post... part uno

So I know it was already like, two whole weeks ago, but I didn't blog at all during the break, so I need to do a little review.  So, fair warning:  long-winded holiday recap ahead.  Gratuitous family pictures included!

Christmas was really good here this year.  Really good and super hectic.  As I expected, my procrastinating caught up with me and I was wrapping gifts til 1 am on Christmas morning.  Every year I tell myself that I will get it done early, and every year I wait til the last possible minute and am really sorry that I did.  At least I didn't run out of boxes and wrapping paper, like last year!  And at least my kids are bigger now, and I don't have twenty annoying toys with 897 tiny pieces to put together while propping my eyelids open with toothpicks or anything.

Oh, but I so remember those days...

So anyway, we go to a small dinner party at my mom's house on Christmas Eve Eve.  That's pretty much adult only, and that was fun.  I like that get-together, because a few of my cousins on my Dad's side are there, and we always have a good time together.  

Mom with me, Chrissie and Amanda (The Aussies), and Ty.  Ignore my round face.

Mom always makes such a great dinner.  Basically, we sit around eating, drinking and yapping in nice clothes.  The only difference from your average sister-hang day is the nice clothes, and yummier food.  I picked Kara and her two Australian friends from the train that night, and Kara was all cranky, like a cranky traveler.  It was funny.  I didn't engage, so that was good, and we didn't argue.  I waited for her super nice apology for being moody at me before we left the parking lot.  Originally, because of her work schedule, I didn't expect to see her til the next day - I'm so glad they were able to get in earlier than expected though.  Who wants to travel on Christmas Eve?  T-Bone was all tipsy and yelled "Fuck Australia!" at the Australians.  I was thinking that might have not gone over too well, but the girls seemed to roll with it.  I think Kara gave them a heads up on excessive drinking/uncle behavior, so they weren't too offended?  I hope?

One sucky thing happened!  Like, a few days before Christmas, we got this weird heat wave, and all of the awesome snow melted!!  I was like, wtf.  I really was hoping for a snowy Christmas... those are the best kinds of Christmases!  Then I was thinking maybe we'd get a Christmas fucking miracle and a few flakes would fly, but they didn't.  Wah!  Oh well.

So Kara spent the night at Mom's house with her Aussie friends because it was just too hectic at home.  I was stressing because I really did not have enough decent space for three extra people.  Mom did though, so that worked out really well.  The next morning, they all came home to our house to get ready for Christmas Eve at my Dad's.  Though, as usual, we ended up hanging far too long at Ali's fireplace, and had to rush to get to Dad's in a timely fashion.  In my defense, Ali's fireplace is very inviting...  I tend to visit it often in the winter.  My very special chair is right by the fireplace.  It's a rather cozy glider, and they always give it up for me, which is like, the best thing ever.

We went to Dad's in the early afternoon for more eating, drinking and yapping in nice clothes, but this time presents were included!  And kids!  My Dad's wife spends like, a ridiculous amount of time in the kitchen making dinner every year, and as always, it was amazing.  I was so full from appetizers by the time dinner came out I could barely finish my plate.  I hate when that happens when great food is involved!  The kids all had fun and loved their gifts.  They are all so good and nice to be around... there are twelve grandkids, and we included Victoria (our exchange student from Norway), Javi (Ali's exchange student from Spain) and the two Aussies this year, so that really expanded the "kid" pool.  It was kind of like an international party in the living room.

Jen and Abba

Kylie requested a massive bear as a gift...

a casually yummy xmas eve dinner at Dad's house.

Anyway, Christmas Eve at Dad's house was really perfect.  I love that time with everyone.  Supposedly, Tyrone gave Dad the winning gift this year - it was a framed award that he "tracked down from the original bar in Binghampton," that was given to my Dad for being the Champion in a beer pong tournament in the Greater Binghampton area.  My Dad claims to hold that title from back in the day.  I called foul on Ty's winning gift because it didn't have a golden seal on it, even though it was signed by the "Governor" at the time.  It was definitely a fraud.

Ty's excitement over his self proclaimed win.

For the past several years, I have been the winner in gifts to my Dad, starting with the year I gave him a few old swizzle sticks that I had acquired...  It was a shocker, everyone gave me a hard time about it, but it set the stage for unique gifts to give to my Dad.  Ali was mad because I got the swizzle sticks from a house she bought from an old lady that was filled with stuff.  In my defense, she didn't care about the swizzle sticks one bit originally!  She would have just thrown them away!  I can't help it if I have an eye for interesting things to hang onto.  Anyway, my dad collects all things related to the town we live in, and a few of the swizzle sticks were from really old bars and restaurants where we live.  He loved them, what can I say?

It's very hard to maintain the status as the best gift giver of all time!  Every year I have to uphold the tradition.  I'll give it to Ty this year for his effort though, since I wasn't on my game.  I already have an idea for next year's gift though...

OK, I'm going to have to revisit this post and make this a part one of two, because I am tired of writing, which means you are probably tired of reading.  We'll pick up where we left off, but we'll start with Christmas Eve at home.  Also, I'm super hungry and I need to go get myself a sandwich before I eat my own arm.  Alsoalso, I just noticed that I am seriously lacking in the gratuitous pictures that I promised would accompany this post - sorry.  I was having trouble loading so I kind of gave up.  More in the next post, if you were disappointed.

Later bloggers!