I swear this is the last time I mention it

Speaking of mini vans, the first experience I had with driving one was when I lived in Colorado, back in the 80's.


Let me just start by saying that everything embarrassed me when I was 17.  Especially dorky cars.  And the only car that was available for me to drive out in Colorado belonged to my aunt. Even though it was a new model and actually very nice, I was still mortified to drive it.

It was a yellow VW mini bus.  Back then they weren't called mini vans.  I think they were called nerdy embarrassing mortifying Vanagons or something.  Anyway, I was actually very lucky to be able to drive it, but every time I did, I would slink way low in the seat, like very concerned that I might be seen by someone in a much cooler vehicle.  Not that anyone knew me or anything.  But it was still a huge concern.  And trust me, everyone out there had a much cooler vehicle. 

It's actually funny because my boyfriend at the time drove a red VW bug - like one of the older models, and that didn't embarrass me at all.  I loved that car.  Except when it caught on fire when we were on the highway one day.  If I remember correctly, we had to brave the flames to grab a bottle of alcohol out of the glove compartment so we didn't get caught with it.  It was definitely embarrassing when the tow truck dropped us off at our destination (a wedding) with a smoking charred VW hooked up to the back of it though.
 
Where I lived in CO, it seemed like everyone was loaded - kids my age had awesome cars, and they all drove to school.  The school parking lot looked like a new car dealership.  Make that a high end new car dealership.  I took the bus.  Then this girl I met my first week there took pity on me and started picking me up every day in her huge shiny Bronco.  Seriously, I'm pretty sure the brand new Bronco was nicer than any car that any kid I knew back home had.

Now that I think of it, the bright yellow VW bus was a huge step up from anything I was allowed to drive back home.  Back home, we used to drive two cars as teenagers - one we named the Crud Mobile, and the other was affectionately called The Manila Envelope.  The crud mobile was this massive white car that my dad let us drive.  It was so deeply embedded in the mortifying category that nothing could pull it out.  The crud mobile was so wide that it took up an entire lane.  Seriously.  The entire lane.  I am actually positive that car would not fit in my current two car garage.  The interior was huge and fit a crap load of kids.  And the upholstered ceiling was coming down, so as you were driving, you were paying less attention to keeping the car on the road and more attention to swatting the upholstery out of your face.

The Manila Envelope was another of my dad's extra large cars that he let us drive.  Again with the massive wideness.  Except this one was a subtle Manila Envelope-type of color.  Pretty tough to slyly show up somewhere in that ride.  Typically, we would park about a block away from wherever it was that we were going because we were so embarrassed.  Ah.  Good times.

I do have great memories of driving around in those cars though.  Even though they were bigger than a swimming pool, I still had some sense that I was lucky to have wheels, because not everybody did.  We lived in the country, so besides going anywhere within walking distance, we needed a ride. 

I cannot even imagine my kids faces if I pulled up to pick them up from school in one of those cars.  Anybody have an old crappy Impala that I can borrow? 

validation? uh, no.

So I was watching the Today Show yesterday morning and there was a little clip on bringing the mini van into the cool category.  It was kind of a little funny and coincidental because I was talking about the cool factor of my new mini van on Friday's post.  And one of my favorite bloggers was actually in the clip -- Kristen Howerton from Rage Against the Mini Van. I was like, Hey!  I know her!  Kind of. In a weird bloggish sort of way. 

If I hadn't already been a little behind on reading Kristen's posts, I would have known she was going to be on the Today Show. Because of course after seeing the clip I went and read and got all caught up. In one of her posts she was talking about how they filmed her for the spot and how it was edited a little to make it look like loading her kids up in her van was a smooth piece of cake. Kind of funny because loading four kids under the age of 5 or 6 into any vehicle is usually not exactly a smooth piece of cake.  (incidentally, I'm not sure if the term "smooth piece of cake" actually works, but I'd like to think you get what I mean) I wonder if the producers really think that normal parents believe it when they make it look so "smooth."

But so anyway, the point of the little tiny segment was to see if mini vans could ever possibly be cool.  The person who was talking through the segment was all like, "mini vans are the sweat pants of cars - comfortable and practical but totally not stylish." (I have to admit, that was a great analogy)

I was thinking it was a little on the overboard side though.  Like, really?  Do people really care that much?  Maybe it's because I am practical that I don't care one iota if people consider a mini van "frumpy."  Dude.  It's a vehicle.  Besides four wheels, it has a couple of fun bells and whistles, and bells and whistles make me happy.  And it makes my life easier.  Easier = happier.  Happy mom = a good thing.  (I am aware that I just said dude.  But I meant it so it stays)

And for the record, I kind of like sweat pants.  Sorry!!!  I guess that makes me frumpy, but whatever.  Does it help if I don't wear granny panties hardly ever? 

And now, finally, I am done talking mini vans and underpants.  I am over it and over this boring post.   

*On a side note, I'd like to make you all aware of the fact that I got a standing O from my husband last night regarding the dinner that I made.  And a round of applause.  It was very exciting.

The thing about the minivans

So today I am going to pick up my new minivan and I am super excited about it.  I said that in all seriousness.  I swear.

I remember when I went from my Expedition (which I loved) to a minivan and I had a little bit of a hard time adjusting.  We decided to go mini van because well, it seemed logical.  Also, because of my irrational fear that of one of my kids would fall out of the Expedition while I was driving on the highway.  Incidentally, that fear may not necessarily be irrational because Megan really did fall out of the Expedition.  It was not moving at the time, but she was only 12 months old and omg.  It was mighty traumatic.  I had to bring her to the hospital, my poor baby.  She had the biggest knot on her head that I ever saw, it was so scary. 

Here's the thing.  Mini vans are designed for people like me.  Why would I have a problem with that?  I have a bunch of kids, and we are in and out of the car multiple times a day and it is just so much easier.  I just have to push a button and the doors open!  There is space!  There are no muddy footprints on the seats because someone had to hop in the way back!  The middle windows go down!  There is enough room for SIX kids!  Wait.  Do I really want that option??  I also really like that this particular van looks a little less like a van, and a little more like those crossover SUV's.  I think on the reviews some people say it looks like a hearse.  But I like it!

And let me just tell you, I was waiting for the van I am getting because it is way cool.  It has the neatest features.  And I love neat features.  I'm a dork like that.  It has a little fridge in it!  And this cool thing where I can download photos and it shows on a screen saver right on the dashboard.  And it has a great entertainment system.  And a blue tooth. (which is apparently a good thing - I am not exactly sure what I do with it, but I am sure I will figure it out).  The thing that I am really looking forward to is being able to have my ipod hook right in there without wires and extra crap, and apparently, it saves my playlist?  I guess I'll have to figure it out.  But I am happy.

So anyway, I am going to thrill you with a few picture of my beauteous new van.  Because I don't have anymore time to write.  Because I am heading out to get it like in five minutes!  Yay!

ps - It is going to look that clean and shiny and spanking new forever and ever amen!  No goldfish smashed into the floor, no juice boxes left half empty in a cup holder.  No footprints on the seat.  No misc accumulation of my junk in my area.  Right?