coffee

I just read an article that said liquid calories are a bigger diet-buster than food. Well. I can believe that.

As I sit here typing with my ridiculously light and sweet coffee, that piece of news just validates why I actually don't even allow myself to drink coffee during the week - because of how absolutely fattening I have to make it. Once I figured out how many Weight Watchers points were in my coffee the way I like to drink it, and it is 6. SIX.

SIX POINTS for one cup of coffee! That's the equivalent of an ENTIRE MEAL!
Six Weight Watchers points is equal to 2 peanut butter cups! Or a cup of spaghetti with sauce!

Once Wendy suggested that I just make it with fat free cream and equal. I tried and it tasted really cruddy. It occurred to me that I would never bother even making it though, much less drink it if I didn't like the taste. It's pointless. Wendy said I would get used to it that way if I just kept making it like that. I know that is probably true, I never even liked coffee once, I was positive that I would never be a coffee drinker even.

It all started with having to whet my whistle.

Being thirsty driving with a friend to work - a sip lead to a few sips, then to my friend actually making and bringing me my own cup because he was sick of me whetting my whistle with half of his cup of coffee. Back then, the coffee I was drinking was with that gross powdered creamer. I then moved on to Dunkin' Donuts, light and sweet. REAL cream. That lasted a while. But once I had a taste of Hazelnut.... mmmmmmmm.... now that's my downfall.

So these days, I have punished myself. I don't have the coffee maker out anymore, don't even buy the cream (except this week I had a coupon that was doubled and I got it for free because it was also on sale - it would have been a crime if I passed up that opportunity). Most weeks, I only have coffee on Saturday mornings. I head over to Ali and Ty's, have my allotted cup of coffee and sit around chit-chatting for a bit. Some weeks, I will have one on a Sunday too, it all depends on how quickly I can get myself going. I could never have a cup of coffee in the afternoon!

Today is just one of those dreary, rainy days that just needs a warm cup of coffee to get things going in the right direction. I stopped at Griffin's Market on the way home from dropping Brookie at Pre-K, and picked it up black. It smelled so nice in my car... got home, fixed it up just right, now I am enjoying it on a TUESDAY. huh. Makes it almost feel like the weekend...

Sorting through

So today, (my sister's) Indi, Ali and I met mom at (my step-father) Steve's mother's house. Mom asked us to come and see if there was anything that we might want before it was sold or given away. There was a lot of glassware - Steve's mom had at least 3 or 4 HUGE sets of gorgeous china. I was LATE because when I went to get in my car this morning, I discovered that the battery was dead. Hmph. Kara came in really early this morning, so she needed to get the house key from my car, and ended up leaving the door slightly open, which yes, killed my battery. What a pain in the butt. Since Alex had already left to go to church with the kids, I had to jump it with the electric charger. Big fat pain, and takes at least ten minutes to charge. So I was the LAST to arrive TO PICK the gosh darn China, and they started without me.

It was weird being in the house... seemed so much more empty and dreary. It's so sad. Just going through everything made me feel so down. Like, why do we accumulate all of this stuff, that someday, may or may not mean anything to anyone really. I mean, I liked the things that I brought home with me, but really, it's someone else's stuff - stuff that was important to Steve's mom at some point, but for the most part, was not really important to me. I came to the thought, "What is the point, really?"

I really do want to minimize the clutter, but I can't help but HOARD. I have such a hard time throwing things away! Someday, my kids are going to be going through all of my things, deciding their fates... deciding what goes in the junk pile, the keeper pile...

The things that I accumulated and saved with such love and care will eventually be reduced to a bunch of people handling my stuff.  I don't even want to think about that.

Mom worries about us having to go through all of her things, too. I told her that she should take a notebook, and write about the different things she would like us to have - what has meaning, the stories behind the things she has saved. Certain things she has of Nan's that maybe we wouldn't know about. She loved showing us these pretty diamond, pearl and platinum pins of Steve's moms that she will let each of us have. She will let us choose at Easter when Jen is here.

I brought home a set of sweet custard bowls, a beautiful painting of a boat on a lake, a barometer. I brought home a christening gown that must be a hundred years old - beautifully hand made, and so obviously stitched with love and care, linens and a Staffordshire dog with orange eyes. Later, we'll take a powder blue couch and chair for the playroom in the basement. It'll be good, to let this stuff live on, with us, in our lives. 

I liked looking at the pictures of Steve when he was little. His eyes are the same. I realized that there weren't nearly enough pictures.

First day

Happy first day!

I am feeling creative these days... too many years spent focusing on everyone but myself I guess. I grew up journaling, and for some reason just stopped after I got married. We recently had a flood in our basement, and I was devastated to think that my cardboard box of old "stuff" may have been ruined. I am 39 years old, but cannot bear the thought of losing a note from a boy I had a crush on in 10th grade.

Written on the back of a Juicy Fruit wrapper.

Since the big flood we've had to tear up the carpet, haul a ton of wet, soggy stuff to the dumpster, and spend hours rifling through loads of veritable junk - but thankfully - my box survived.

Needless to say, I have been stealing away for some uninterrupted time to the basement to sift through things I haven't looked at in absolutely years.

Why do we save all of these things??

I just found a moldy leather bracelet that Peter, my boyfriend for one week in 6th grade gave me. Hmmm... just reconnected with Peter on facebook. Maybe he'd like his bracelet back?

ANYWAY, to make my long-winded story a little shorter - seeing my neatly lined up journals and diaries after all of these years prompted me to get blogging. I guess it's the new thing to do. Or since I am little behind the times, the old new thing. I just haven't had time to do this, and now I do - so yay! I am blogging! Who knew?