rough weekend

Ah, rough weekend... more like rough week. 


My husband's cousin Vicki was waiting on a liver transplant and died.  All last week the anticipation of the up coming wakes and funeral have been difficult.  Thinking of Vicki's two kids, who are amazing, and her husband of 25+ years... her identical twin sister (who recently survived a liver transplant herself). Ugh.  It's had me in tears on and off all week.   Of course the services were every bit as emotional as I imagined.


Kara was very close to Vicki's daughter Maggie.  They are the same age and both sing and act.  Many times they sang duets and recorded music together.  They grew up playing with each other, and though they have kind of gone in different directions with college and stuff, I am confident that their friendship will always remain sturdy.  It's funny, Kara actually spent more time with Vicki than I ever did - sleepovers, trips to the city to see shows, lunches out...

Vicki's son is expecting his first baby this winter, so I think it must make things especially hard for him, knowing that his mother will never hold and love on her first grandchild, knowing that his new baby son will never meet his grandmother.

And Maggie... her Mom was truly her best friend.  I think it will be so tough for her, coming to terms with the fact that her mother is really gone. 

They all had such high hopes that the transplant would happen.  I hate thinking about the fact that with a liver available to her, she would more than likely still be here. 

I have never met a woman more devoted to her kids, more willing to do everything and anything for anyone with a cheerful smile, a funny giggle.  She was honestly one of the best people that I have ever met.  Just a good, kind and genuine person.

I remember the last time I saw Vicki, at the end of the summer.  We stopped over with the kids to do sparklers and sit by the lake one night.  She was wrapped up in a blanket, even though the night was warm.  And she of course was trying to be a hostess, offering to get us drinks, the kids marshmallows to roast.  She looked peaceful and happy that we were there.

Pakistan

I have been feeling a little distressed about the flooding in Pakistan, and the way people are reacting to helping the victims.

(google)

This isn't a political blog, and I am so not political.  This is also not a religious blog, or a judgemental blog.  That's my disclaimer.  But  this is probably a little more serious of a subject than I typically post, so be warned.

I am very torn about what it means to be a good American or a smart American in this situation.  I mean, I hate seeing people suffer, and I feel like I need/want to help in some way when people are in crisis.  So why am I struggling with whether or not it is wrong to help the flood victims of Pakistan?  I didn't think twice about donating to the people of Haiti, to those affected by the tsunami, and of course fellow Americans in New Orleans.

I want to help.  I know it is good to help, but are we ultimately just helping a people who want to harm us, want to destroy our country?  People who cheered in the streets as Americans were terrorized by the 9/11 attacks?  I do not believe that the whole of Pakistan hates our country, but I believe it is pretty much the general consensus, based on what I have read and seen on the news in the past.

I just hate hearing the hate.  I hate reading posts and comments about people who don't care what happens over there.  I think there are plenty of innocent PEOPLE that are suffering.  I don't know what to do.

(google)

Ugh.