Friday, May 9, 2014

Things Moms say...

As a mom of four kids, a Norwegian, a dog, and a blankie called Nanny, I find that I am often surrounded by little people.  In honor of the impending Mother's Day extravaganza weekend ahead, I figured I'd post a few things that I've found myself saying in response to certain situations involving certain little people.

Would you burp like that if the President was here for dinner?

Get off of your sister's face please.

Do not whip your brother with Nanny!

We don't say kill you.

We don't say half-wit.

Please do not lick your meatball.

Please do not lick the door knob.

Quick! Get your undies on! You cannot go to the ice-cream truck naked!!

No, we cannot have skittles and orange soda for dinner.

Do not shoot your sister again, or you will sit on the stairs.

No, not ALL moms have those dents on their legs. Thanks.

Can anyone tell me why there is applesauce in my shoe?

I will spank your bare hiney right here in public if you do that again!

Little girls are not really supposed to drink coffee for breakfast.

Do you really want dirty little germs to build their little germ houses on your teeth? Good! then brush!

Why does your blankie have a leash on it??

No, you can NOT try to blow up a potato with gasoline.

No, rocks don't catch on fire. Wait, WHY??!

Maybe you can jump off the bridge when you're nine.

Not it!!!!!

I will pay you if you try out for baseball.

I will pay you if you wear what I pick out for one week.

Uncooked spaghetti is probably not considered a healthy snack.

Because jumping off the shed onto the trampoline is dangerous, that's why!

We don't say, "poop on a shingle."

We don't say, "pooped in your face."

If I hear the word "poop" one more time at the dinner table, someone is sitting on the stairs!

No, I will not give you $39 to buy a BB gun.

You can't live off of Pop Tarts and applesauce.

Who ate bee yo-yos* in my bed???!!

Is that my toothbrush that you are using on your doll's hair??!

Because I'm the Mom, that's why.

Any momisms you'd care to share?

*bee yo yo = Honeynut Cheerios.


  1. Oh my goodness! I'm laughing so hard I have to catch my breath!

  2. Laughed and especially with the door knob licking :)