(credit catholicbooksellers.org)
I grew up as a Catholic. We went to church every Sunday and religion every week. We celebrated Catholic holidays, followed Catholic traditions and knew the basic stories of the bible. We said prayers. But growing up Catholic, I always had questions that I felt weren't answered. Even though I had faith, or my own version of faith, I still didn't know what it was supposed to mean, being Catholic.
I've always been interested in religion, and asked lots of questions of others who were of different faith. I remember spending hours talking to someone who was a Jehovah's Witness -- I was appalled at some of their beliefs. This person was explaining to me how his young niece had recently died (because they wouldn't let her get some pig valve for her heart or something) and they all rejoiced and were happy for her. And I was all like, really? You really were happy that she died?? And he was like, of course, it is her purpose, she is with God in Heaven! I couldn't even wrap my head around that thought process, and the fact that he didn't even feel sad. And he was like, I'm not sad because I know our spirits will meet again. He was so sure that they would be together again. And I was like -- But she's DEAD. I'm sorry, I just don't get that. How can you be sure?? Nobody really knows!
Well I like the Jewish faith. It just seems very warm and welcoming. I don't know how else to describe it. I went to my first Jewish wedding a few years back and it was probably the nicest ceremony I've ever been to. It made me want to be Jewish, made me want to be able to participate more freely.
I also love Buddhism. It's just so peaceful. And spot on. I definitely could be a Buddhist. Maybe I could be a Jewish Buddhist. That might shock my Grandmother. And my sisters would definitely make fun of me.
It seems like lately I have been thinking more about faith and religion, and what it all means. This always happens to me when the kids go back to school - they start their weekly religion classes, it's just expected. We don't even go to church regularly, we are the bad Catholics that usually only go to mass when there is a holiday. Which makes me feel guilty, actually. The thing is, I want my kids to question their faith. Is that bad? I think it's because they haven't had a choice yet - I just bring them to church every so often, and make them go to religion class because I am their Mom and that's how I grew up. Why can't they choose a religion that they really feel, in their hearts? Of course, that would involve me exposing them to different religions, which I haven't done. I guess what I mean is, I don't want them to feel like they have to be Catholic, just because their Dad and I are. I don't like the thought of someone telling them how they are supposed to feel about God and religion, I want them to form their own conclusions.
