It is my opinion that only jerks give kids noisy toys as presents.
I'm not trying to be all mean and ungrateful here. Let's just put that out there. But seriously, what parent in their right mind would give a kid a noisy toy as a gift?
Unless of course, they hated the kid's parents or were in a situation where they had to *regift a noisy toy that was given to their kid as a gift. Or maybe they have stock in really effective earplugs. Oh, we all know what kind of toys I am talking about - I'm talking about those kinds of toys that play annoying, incessant Barney-esque type music til you want to poke your eyeball out with a fork just to get some relief from the noise.
Yeah, well those toys aren't allowed here at our house. No way. Take your crappy hateful gift and give it to someone who has an extraordinary amount of self restraint. Those toys that do somehow stick around mysteriously run out of batteries really quickly. Either that or they have to have a port or hole-thing so we can plug in some headphones, because I just can't listen to it all.day.long. Why can't someone just give my kid a hula hoop, or a kite or something? Those toys don't make noise.
In a foggy stupor brought on by a lack of hazelnut creamer for my coffee, I accidentally bought my son a Vuvuzela, and I suddenly feel the urge to pull my hair out of my head. Good Cod, I can't take another day with that plastic piece of hell, blowing loud noisy noise all over the place. I was in the bathroom, happy as a clam, and almost fell off the potty when someone came in and blew that damn thing right in my personal space. I can assure you, it wasn't a pretty scene.
I only have myself to blame. I have a funny feeling it is going to get stolen out of the front yard by a pack of Vuvuzela freaks. Yeah, that's what I'll tell him. It was definitely the Vuvuzela freaks.
*About regift: don't you think it's funny that regift wasn't a real, recognized by Webster's Dictionary word til 1995? That's some interesting trivia right there. The first person who can remember who came out with that word first wins a big fat prize. (It might be a really nice used Vuvuzela, but I'll never tell!)
