So I went to the nutritionist today, and you have to get weighed every time you go. So I pretty much think that it's one of the goals at the nutritionist to humiliate people. First of all, the scale is in this main hallway area thing that all of the P.A.s, nurses, doctors and counselors are milling around in. And by scale, I mean freaking CATTLE sized weighing device. Like you approach that thing and if you are even a little insecure about your weight, you immediately feel like a horse just because of the way the scale looks. They could literally fit a 26.4 cubic foot refrigerator on it.
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| this isn't the exact model. but pretty close. |
You know, I really should tell my BIL John about the cattle scale humiliation thing, because he really thinks that humiliation is the key to weight loss. He was designing a weight loss camp that he was positive would work. His methodology would be to make a person wear a pig mask and get spanked on their bare butt with a big pizza paddle if they gain weight. It could work. But personally, I don't want to go to that mean camp. I don't know how many takers he would get.
So anyway, the cattle scale is in the main hallway. Now, when I weigh myself, I of course do it totally naked and only after I go to the bathroom. Because lets be real, urine could definitely take a third of a pound off right there. And I need all of the help I can get. And underpants and a bra?? Unless I was wearing a thong, I could probably take another third of a pound off for that! And just because I like to share, I don't think I have ever put a thong on my body. So anyway, obviously, I can't strip down naked in the main hallway of the doctor's office. First of all, it might scare the skinny nutritionists, and second of all, it would be really cold out there.
So of course I have to get on the cattle scale in my jeans and socks and shirt. Ugh. Jeans weigh like four pounds. It's not fair! And I don't care what anyone says, I wouldn't step on a scale with shoes on if you paid me. It's just unheard of.
Well, the bad news is that I didn't lose any weight at all since my last appointment. And the worse news is that this different lady that I saw completely gave me the opposite information than the last lady did. So like, now I am all confused. I might as well skip the effing nutritionist and do my own research and figure my own plan of action out. And the double worse news is that my blood pressure was still high but it could be related to the cattle scale mental thing I had going on.
So I am having a bad day.
Which means I had to go to Pottery Barn Kids and buy stuff. Like a desk for Megan and new bedding for all three little kids.
And now I feel better.
*I am linking this post to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday. The letter is R. As in RETAIL THEREAPY.
