I mean, lets be real, it just doesn't work like that anymore. Because nobody that seems to be around 5'7 wants to ride big wheels. Right? I mean, I'd find it hard to believe that I would just go out and find someone my height playing. It most definitely would be physically impossible to fit my ass into a big wheel. Unless it was a big wheel for giants!
But really, when you were younger, it seemed like everyone initially eyed a new kid suspiciously and then they just got over it as long as you weren't overly obnoxious, and as long as you didn't smell like pee. Because really, you were all pretty much on the same playing field, all pretty much equally dorky and/or oblivious. And then eventually, you know, as you were hanging upside down next to someone on the monkey bars, all of a sudden you were just friends. And there was nothing more to it than that.
But like now? As a grown up? How does one actually go about making new friends? Now that monkey bars and big wheels are out of the equation. Not that I am looking, of course. I know I have mentioned several times before that I am an introvert and panic at the thought of adding anyone to my tiny little circle. But for curiosity's sake.
I tend to be on the quiet side, so I think for someone like me, it would be painfully difficult to make a new friend that is an actual real live person. The sad truth is, it probably would be very unlikely that it would ever happen.
I'm just not good at striking up a conversation that doesn't sound forced. That is because I am a chronic overthinker. While I might be saying out loud, to your face, (real live recent scenario at a PTO fundraiser thing, unfortunately) "Oh hi! Your kid is in Kindergarten, right? Who is her teacher?" On the inside I'm definitely saying, "Wait, what? Did she just look at my overly white tooth? Did I say kid but maybe the better more fancy thing to say should have been child? Wait! Does she have a boy and not a girl???! Oh my Cod I think I have too much cleavage in this shirt. No, she has too much cleavage and I'm just projecting! Oh fuck it. Whatever." And then it's all over. Because at that point my face is probably red and I might actually have sweat on my brow and then I am going to certainly pretend I just have to run to grab a drink of water real quick because I'm parched! and then I just never come back.
Because that's how cool I am guys. Cool as a cucumber. Way to go, me.
I guess it's sort of good that I'm alright with the friends that I have, huh?
