Man. Lately it feels like every grown up person you know or meet claims to be an introvert.
I don't know about you, but like, when did it become so popular to be one of those?
All of a sudden, there are internet quizzes galore, and opportunities to stake your claim in the introvert family. Maybe it's cool now?
I don't know exactly if I like being an introvert, because I legitimately am one. I just know that I've never been anything else.
I can't remember a time when I didn't feel like I needed to have considerable time alone to feel ok. I don't know what it feels like to not be overly consumed with my own thoughts and feelings, to not be shy, to hate to be the center of attention, or even on the edges of attention.
I think it's pretty cool that the term introvert, as related to people, was introduced by Carl Jung, who is definitely one of my favorite psychologists to read about. He described introverts as people whose motives and actions are primarily directed inward, people who tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and often minimize their contact with other people.
So yeah. A lot of that describes me.
Though I do hate that it kind of sounds like introverts are selfish. Because I don't think I'm selfish. Or like, maybe I am a little, but I also think I am kind and giving. Selfish is a shitty characteristic, I know a few narcissistic and egotistical people, and I don't think I am anything like them. I sure hope that I'm not.
Whoa. I just looked up the word "selfish," and these are some of the synonyms: narcissistic, egotistical, ungenerous, mean, stingy, self centered. OMG, I know someone exactly like that. I can't believe I ever thought I liked them. Maybe of those characteristics I would consider myself self-centered, but only in the sense that I am often in my own head, focusing so much on my own thoughts and feelings, not in the sense that I think I'm all that. Because I definitely don't think I'm all that.
It's funny that I married an extrovert. It's actually probably the best thing, because it forces me out of my own little shell sometimes. Alex is the exact opposite of me - he loves to be the center of attention, it's where he feels the most comfy. I don't think anyone would ever use the words "shy" or "quiet" to describe him. He's the guy who is always in the middle of the room, making new friends wherever he goes, and pretty much everyone likes him. And also, he hates to be alone.
In fact, the reason Alex and I met was because of how much he hates to be alone. His parents had moved away, and like, after class and work, the thought of going home to an empty house was like his worst nightmare. So he used to go to my sister's house a lot, she'd make him dinner and he'd stick around to watch TV for a while, he was good friends and soccer buddies with my brother-in-law. So of course, I was at my sisters a lot as well, and both being single, we often ended up kind of thrown together. I liked his confidence. He wasn't wimpy.
I'd say it worked out pretty well. I guess opposites do attract.